do i tell him im a virgin?

im an 18 yer old girl and im really embarased about being a virgin still. i know 18 isnt that old, but i feel like it is. i work in a cocktail bar and theres a guy there who really likes me and i stayed at his house lat week but we didnt have sex. i really want to have sex next time, but i dont want him to know im a virgin because im embarased about it. even though were not in a relationship i dont think ill regret losing it to him because i really like him and i know he likes me to. is it really bad not to tell him? will he be able to tell? the main reason im embarased about it because he is older than me (he's 25) and quite experienced, and so is everybody else in the bar. they treat sex as if it isnt a big deal because they've had quite a lot so it isnt to them. i dont think sex is a really big deal for me either but i feel like it should be mainly because of what i read on places like this where everyone is in a rleationship with people they love before they have sex. i really hate being a virgin and was actually considering slepeing with any gu just so i wasnt anymore, so having sex with this guy who at least i like and care about is a lot better than that.

please dont judge and jump to conclusions straight away, but i do want to hear what you all have to say (but i think i can guess what you will say already!)

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Reply 1

Mazzo

The fact you think your virginity is a negative thing is rather depressing, I'm sure if he's a decent guy he won't care about your virginity, you shouldn't have to even consider sleeping with a guy just to lose it, guys don't really care whether or not you're a virgin. (Unless you're the town bike, then it's an issue.)

If he asks you, be honest, plus seeing as losing it's not a big deal for you, it shouldn't matter him knowing.

Reply 2

username158373

Tell him, he will be able to tell, he can act accordingly and most guys relish in the idea of taking your innocence !

Reply 3

hermaphrodite

yes. he'd love to deflower you

Reply 4

nothingspek

If you think it's of great importance.

Reply 5

Jelkin

I definitely think you should tell him. Please don't be ashamed of being a virgin, remember that he was a virgin once so he'll know what it feels like! He'll probably be able to tell as I think it'll probably affect your behaviour during sexual activity and if it hurts then you might want him to be gentle and slow, as well as the fact that you might wince which would put him off if he didn't know why!

There is NOTHING to be embarrassed about; indeed, given that you might not really know what you're doing, I think it should be more embarrassing for him to think you are experienced ...

Reply 6

bete noire

ChrisLincoln

d most guys relish in the idea of taking your innocence !

Grosssss

Essentially, only tell him if you really fell you need to, I didn't tell the person I lost it to that I was a virgin cause I didn't think it was important given the circumstances

Reply 7

username158373

bete noire

Grosssss

Essentially, only tell him if you really fell you need to, I didn't tell the person I lost it to that I was a virgin cause I didn't think it was important given the circumstances

It's true!

Reply 8

bete noire

ChrisLincoln

It's true!

Still gross!...or weird at least IMO

Reply 9

linda helena

bete noire

Grosssss

Essentially, only tell him if you really fell you need to, I didn't tell the person I lost it to that I was a virgin cause I didn't think it was important given the circumstances

It is different for girls since it often hurts for us the first time, and for that reason it's a good idea to tell the guy so he knows that he needs to be gentle.

Reply 10

username158373

bete noire

Still gross!...or weird at least IMO

Not a real man until you have blood on your sword. :biggrin:

haha. Yeah it is a little weird :smile:

, but it is true!

Reply 11

installedpear

Yeah, tell him.
he needs to know.
And I always feel that people need to just up the sensitivity with a virgin.
and really consider the unavoidable emotional ties that are formed with the person you loose your virginity to.

I woulnd't ever go into sex lightly, but I'd always (for some reason) be ultra careful that it was definitely right to take someones virginity.
it musn't be taking...they've got to give it to you.and want you to have it and never regret it.

Reply 12

bete noire

linda helena

It is different for girls since it often hurts for us the first time, and for that reason it's a good idea to tell the guy so he knows that he needs to be gentle.

True, true

Reply 13

emmarainbow

^ ditto, tell him, he'll be gentler.

No shame hun, I'm 19 and still innocent as the day I was born... :wink:

(well, kinda)

yes please tell him

Defo tell him

I haven't read most of the OPs post, but I will say a categorical YES no matter what it says.

One thing I will say though, what's so embarrassing about being a virgin? I tell everyone I meet, and it doesn't embarrass me in the slightest - in fact, I feel good because it shows that I have values and don't sleep with just anyone. (Before people jump on me like a tonne of bricks, I'm not accusing non virgins of being promiscuous!!)
Seriously OP, he'll respect you more for being honest about it, and mature enough to know what you want out of life.

Yes

Tell him
and if he won't respect that then hes an Arrogant **** who's not wirth the light of day.
+ Yes, I am a virgin too, its not a bad thing.

Reply 19

Marie23

Just tell him! everyone puts thier 'virginity' on a pedastal.... bloody hell, nd yeh hed probs like it that you were a virgin, i dnt get why tho?...but thats guys for you:P