What actually constitutes consensual sex Watch
One of my most incessant fears about sex is that of what is meant by consent and when "yes means yes" and why an absence of "no" doesn't mean yes.
I am fully for 100% verbal consensual relationships. I know from speaking to people though, many are happy with implied consent as the repeated phrase "is this ok" is offputting.
Therefore, I wonder at what point does "engaging" behaviour legally imply sexual consent? If you're with someone and kissing them, and then end up lying with them in bed, when does an absence of "no" mean they didn't consent. If someone goes with what is going on, how is it possible to know they don't want to continue.
I also wonder what exactly you need to consent for. Obviously there are many different sexual acts and positions. If you gain consent at the start for sex ("is this ok?") what exactly is that consent for?
In a world where sexual assault / violence is so common, but accusations, whether true or false, can ruin someone's lives, how is it possible to engage in sex, without gaining an active "yes" every step of the way, without possibly being called a rapist.
If a woman has a bad experience, or changes her mind half way through but doesn't commincate this, is this rape? After-all, from the moment she changes her mind, even if she initially consents, this is technically rape.
I swear I am so terrified of this, that I wouldn't even consider sleeping with someone even if I really wanted to. The fear is paralysing as a man, because I know how devastating an accusation can be
Being mindful about consent is important but it sounds to me that you're overly fixating and catastrophizing on it in a way that constitutes self-harmful and I suggest you might be in need of talking to a therapist about overcoming this irrational fear.
Would recommend talking to your doctor about this. It sounds like intrusive thoughts are impacting upon your quality of life. You're not alone with this and should you require it, there is treatment available.