muslim girls- how do you avoid guys hitting on you, being close/touching you at uni Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
ive always gone to a girls school but im not your typical frigid, awkward *****y girl i was defo the chilled laid back one who just went there because it was the best school in the area type thing-so obviously i havent ever really had issues with guys who i see/walk with/hang out with everyday liking me and trying to get closer to me etc. Now obviously, i'm a practicing muslim and do take my faith quite seriously but i went on a summer school recently obviously mixed and we quickly formed a mixed group. this guy tho yeah he consistently sat v close to me, had his arm around me(on the sofa so not actually touching) when we were sat on the couch, touched my back and often when we were walking down quite narrow lanes we would just constantly keep bumping into eachother. we also rubbed shoulders alot and when we were on the sofa had a blanket over the two of us ( i didnt realise it was only over us apparently i had the majority of it). i am honestly riddled with guilt and i dunno i just hate this feeling because i know its not allowed to be close to a guy but honestly it was him always initiating/instigating it and i was just trying to be nice back. luckily this was only a week long summer school but i expect had it been freshers week this would have carried on and we wouldve carried on brushing into eachother and all the other minor touching that was going on between us would have continued- i wasnt reciprocating anything like touching him back except a few times when it was necessary so i honeslty wonder how you girls at uni do it? do you just 100% avoid guys altogerther from day one? or just befriend skinny ones lol so you never have to touch, this guy was HENCH unfortunately for me and he took up a lot of the room i know i shouldve hung back or walked ahead or whatever and got out of the close contact situation but that for 3 years straigjt would inevitably get exhausting (and i would just feel rude!) a whole damned essay uno- anyway please do reply and let me know what i should do/what you do. thanks
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 2 weeks ago
#2
It's not your fault. It seems this guy was a bit more "tactile" than he should have been. It's unusual to be touched randomly regardless of gender and sexual orientation.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#3
yeah, i know right- but it was only to me i used to hang back and just watch to see if it was me maybe doing something wrong or if he was doing it to any of the other girls but no it was just me. what made it worse was that we had exactly the same sense of humour so whenever we'd catch someone saying something obviously id turn in to face the group to see who else clocked but it was always only him so we'd have our little moment and tbf near the end i just couldnt be ar*ed i have no idea how it ended up escalating cuz it was honestly never my intention to have him touching me by accident or whatever whenever we got into close proximity of eachother, and now i feel so guilty
(Original post by Anonymous)
It's not your fault. It seems this guy was a bit more "tactile" than he should have been. It's unusual to be touched randomly regardless of gender and sexual orientation.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#4
Report 2 weeks ago
#4
Soon you would be dropping babies without knowing it.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#5
please man shuttup
(Original post by Anonymous)
Soon you would be dropping babies without knowing it.
0
reply
mgi
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#6
Report 2 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
ive always gone to a girls school but im not your typical frigid, awkward *****y girl i was defo the chilled laid back one who just went there because it was the best school in the area type thing-so obviously i havent ever really had issues with guys who i see/walk with/hang out with everyday liking me and trying to get closer to me etc. Now obviously, i'm a practicing muslim and do take my faith quite seriously but i went on a summer school recently obviously mixed and we quickly formed a mixed group. this guy tho yeah he consistently sat v close to me, had his arm around me(on the sofa so not actually touching) when we were sat on the couch, touched my back and often when we were walking down quite narrow lanes we would just constantly keep bumping into eachother. we also rubbed shoulders alot and when we were on the sofa had a blanket over the two of us ( i didnt realise it was only over us apparently i had the majority of it). i am honestly riddled with guilt and i dunno i just hate this feeling because i know its not allowed to be close to a guy but honestly it was him always initiating/instigating it and i was just trying to be nice back. luckily this was only a week long summer school but i expect had it been freshers week this would have carried on and we wouldve carried on brushing into eachother and all the other minor touching that was going on between us would have continued- i wasnt reciprocating anything like touching him back except a few times when it was necessary so i honeslty wonder how you girls at uni do it? do you just 100% avoid guys altogerther from day one? or just befriend skinny ones lol so you never have to touch, this guy was HENCH unfortunately for me and he took up a lot of the room i know i shouldve hung back or walked ahead or whatever and got out of the close contact situation but that for 3 years straigjt would inevitably get exhausting (and i would just feel rude!) a whole damned essay uno- anyway please do reply and let me know what i should do/what you do. thanks
You are not doing anything deliberately wrong so you shouldn't feel guilty. If the guy is doing it on purpose then you have to tell him that you find it uncomfortable. If people touch you accidentally then you could forget it though because it is not sexual.
0
reply
Anonymous #4
#7
Report 2 weeks ago
#7
firstly, lemme commend you for sticking to your morals & principles. many muslim girls tend to go into university with strong imam but within the 3 years get lost in the juice and forget who they were. inshallah that doesn't happen to you.

secondly, if you don't want to avoid the game, you have to play the game extremely smart. guys will only walk through the door if you open it. in this case you opened it, by laughing at his jokes/other jokes with him and by 'being nice'. when you get the jist of what he is trying to do e.g touch your back/hand on the sofa and stuff, you gotta be stern and be like suck out (if the guy is muslim he shouldn't look twice after that). and when the joke is funny, even if its funny, don't laugh with him because if you do that will make him think you like him more than the rest if that makes sense. don't even look for him.

dw about university in general. im finishing up my first year this year and its all about freedom. you choose who you hang around with/where you hang around at/no need to attend freshers if you don't want to etc etc. plus summer school probably had a limited amount of people so you probably couldn't find a couple of chill girls to be with im sure at uni you will. plus depending on your uni it may have a huge muslim population which will make your life easier.

inshallah allah swt helps you out & inshallah helps ensure you keep this strong faith you have described throughout your uni experience.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#8
salam sis, thank you so much honestly reading this just filled my heart with warmth and hope, in'sha'allah in'sha'allah i never turn into one of those girls you described my faith is the single handed most important thing to me if i lost it i would completely lose everything. Which uni's would you recommend that i am more likely to find a higher muslim population? this was oxbridge and although they may be trying to diversify- they are definitely far from it. Nevertheless, my parents will still probably want me to try and apply there but for my other choices- would you suggest more of the london uni's? (I currently live quite far up north-predominantly white area too)

Anyway, thank you again genuinely for taking the time to type out such a lovely and understanding comment- I just hope I find girls like you once I do go to uni. xxx [size defaultattr=]([/size][size defaultattr=]Original post[/size][size defaultattr=] by [/size][size defaultattr=]Anonymous[/size][size defaultattr=])[/size]
firstly, lemme commend you for sticking to your morals & principles. many muslim girls tend to go into university with strong imam but within the 3 years get lost in the juice and forget who they were. inshallah that doesn't happen to you.

secondly, if you don't want to avoid the game, you have to play the game extremely smart. guys will only walk through the door if you open it. in this case you opened it, by laughing at his jokes/other jokes with him and by 'being nice'. when you get the jist of what he is trying to do e.g touch your back/hand on the sofa and stuff, you gotta be stern and be like suck out (if the guy is muslim he shouldn't look twice after that). and when the joke is funny, even if its funny, don't laugh with him because if you do that will make him think you like him more than the rest if that makes sense. don't even look for him.

dw about university in general. im finishing up my first year this year and its all about freedom. you choose who you hang around with/where you hang around at/no need to attend freshers if you don't want to etc etc. plus summer school probably had a limited amount of people so you probably couldn't find a couple of chill girls to be with im sure at uni you will. plus depending on your uni it may have a huge muslim population which will make your life easier.

inshallah allah swt helps you out & inshallah helps ensure you keep this strong faith you have described throughout your uni experience.
0
reply
Anonymous #4
#9
Report 1 week ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
salam sis, thank you so much honestly reading this just filled my heart with warmth and hope, in'sha'allah in'sha'allah i never turn into one of those girls you described my faith is the single handed most important thing to me if i lost it i would completely lose everything. Which uni's would you recommend that i am more likely to find a higher muslim population? this was oxbridge and although they may be trying to diversify- they are definitely far from it. Nevertheless, my parents will still probably want me to try and apply there but for my other choices- would you suggest more of the london uni's? (I currently live quite far up north-predominantly white area too)

Anyway, thank you again genuinely for taking the time to type out such a lovely and understanding comment- I just hope I find girls like you once I do go to uni. xxx [size={defaultattr}]([/size][size={defaultattr}]Original post[/size][size={defaultattr}] by [/size][size={defaultattr}]Anonymous[/size][size={defaultattr}])[/size]
ws. tbh with you, whatever uni you end up at, you'll always find people who will try to get you to sin, you just have to be strong enough to get yourself away from those kind of people and instead hang around with people who will help you not sin/ grow your faith. finding those type of people is always a struggle, i agree, but you can't guarantee it by choosing unis with the largest muslim populations. if you do end up applying/getting an offer from oxf/cam, don't reject it on the basis of the summer school, i'A you will

i go to lse and alhamdulillah it is good. from what i hear, kings/ucl is decent too. i have a couple of friends at oxf and i always hear positive reviews from them, the isoc there is good too albeit quite small. i have no idea about cam.

if you do end up applying/getting an offer from oxf/cam, don't reject it on the basis of the summer school, i'A you will find decent people there. and if not, like i explained earlier, play the game right.

and im a guy, but jzk for your kind words.
0
reply
Anonymous #5
#10
Report 1 week ago
#10
ngl the beginning of your post screams r/notlikeothergirls and it hurt to read
0
reply
Jenx301
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 week ago
#11
If you dont want someone to touch you then tell them to stopl. If they don't then they are dicks and you should report them to the uni
0
reply
Anonymous #6
#12
Report 1 week ago
#12
only talk to guys if you need to
tbh im quite a reserved person, body wise i dont even like hugging my mates (theyre all girls lol) talking to guys is fine but just remain slightly closed and theyll not do anything

also it's gonna be inevitable you cant always be so jump around them or feel bad, it's not your fault nor is it their some people get comfy and that's how it is

it's not like you'll end up sleeping together or summing :lol:

muslim girl here too
0
reply
ANM775
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 week ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
ive always gone to a girls school but im not your typical frigid, awkward *****y girl i was defo the chilled laid back one who just went there because it was the best school in the area type thing-so obviously i havent ever really had issues with guys who i see/walk with/hang out with everyday liking me and trying to get closer to me etc. Now obviously, i'm a practicing muslim and do take my faith quite seriously but i went on a summer school recently obviously mixed and we quickly formed a mixed group. this guy tho yeah he consistently sat v close to me, had his arm around me(on the sofa so not actually touching) when we were sat on the couch, touched my back and often when we were walking down quite narrow lanes we would just constantly keep bumping into eachother. we also rubbed shoulders alot and when we were on the sofa had a blanket over the two of us ( i didnt realise it was only over us apparently i had the majority of it). i am honestly riddled with guilt and i dunno i just hate this feeling because i know its not allowed to be close to a guy but honestly it was him always initiating/instigating it and i was just trying to be nice back. luckily this was only a week long summer school but i expect had it been freshers week this would have carried on and we wouldve carried on brushing into eachother and all the other minor touching that was going on between us would have continued- i wasnt reciprocating anything like touching him back except a few times when it was necessary so i honeslty wonder how you girls at uni do it? do you just 100% avoid guys altogerther from day one? or just befriend skinny ones lol so you never have to touch, this guy was HENCH unfortunately for me and he took up a lot of the room i know i shouldve hung back or walked ahead or whatever and got out of the close contact situation but that for 3 years straigjt would inevitably get exhausting (and i would just feel rude!) a whole damned essay uno- anyway please do reply and let me know what i should do/what you do. thanks


So you're a muslim girl and guys won't leave you alone.

Just tell them your Dad works for _ _ _ _

It'll put the fear of God in em
0
reply
Palmyra
Badges: 17
#14
Report 1 week ago
#14
anon posters everywhere
0
reply
Anonymous #7
#15
Report 1 week ago
#15
If he thinks youre his Leicester ting then just tell him to back off!!! I respect my Muslim sisters I only touched one to write on their shirt at the end of year 13 (true story) but fam just tell him to pi zz off and u should practise gliding to not leave with a mere scratch
0
reply
mgi
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#16
Report 1 week ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
ws. tbh with you, whatever uni you end up at, you'll always find people who will try to get you to sin, you just have to be strong enough to get yourself away from those kind of people and instead hang around with people who will help you not sin/ grow your faith. finding those type of people is always a struggle, i agree, but you can't guarantee it by choosing unis with the largest muslim populations. if you do end up applying/getting an offer from oxf/cam, don't reject it on the basis of the summer school, i'A you will

i go to lse and alhamdulillah it is good. from what i hear, kings/ucl is decent too. i have a couple of friends at oxf and i always hear positive reviews from them, the isoc there is good too albeit quite small. i have no idea about cam.

if you do end up applying/getting an offer from oxf/cam, don't reject it on the basis of the summer school, i'A you will find decent people there. and if not, like i explained earlier, play the game right.

and im a guy, but jzk for your kind words.
"get away from those kind of people "?? do you actually hear yourself? and then you might want others to follow your example of religion,? perhaps you should tell your friends to integrate more-they can still control themselves. Do you actually believe that people try to " get you to "sin" whatever that means? You do realise that you are living in a multi faith/ no faith, multicultural diverse country /world -right?
1
reply
Kinyonga
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#17
Report 1 week ago
#17
(Original post by mgi)
"get away from those kind of people "?? do you actually hear yourself? and then you might want others to follow your example of religion,? perhaps you should tell your friends to integrate more-they can still control themselves. Do you actually believe that people try to " get you to "sin" whatever that means? You do realise that you are living in a multi faith/ no faith, multicultural diverse country /world -right?
I don't think that by "get you to sin" anon means "deliberately trick you into committing a [moral] crime when they know you wouldn't want to", but more "pull you well-meaningly into their way of life".
Nor do I see what the matter with staying away from certain groups of people you don't like is. I see no need to mix with fascists or druggies just because ours is a diverse world.
0
reply
mgi
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#18
Report 1 week ago
#18
(Original post by Kinyonga)
I don't think that by "get you to sin" anon means "deliberately trick you into committing a [moral] crime when they know you wouldn't want to", but more "pull you well-meaningly into their way of life".
Nor do I see what the matter with staying away from certain groups of people you don't like is. I see no need to mix with fascists or druggies just because ours is a diverse world.

But that,of course, is not what i was talking about. You just gave 2 extreme examples. The point i was making is that the person who wrote the post we are referring to sounded sanctimonious and judgemental! If you don't like being touched- say so and if it continues then report it! and what sort of " people you don't like" is he referring to? the drinkers, those ,like many Muslim men who have sex before marriage and keep it secret, or who are gay etc. etc.,those that don't follow Islam. Its far better , simpler and more humane, in my view,to be non judgemental!
0
reply
Mustafa0605
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#19
Report 1 week ago
#19
Uni isn’t like school, it’s a big place and you won’t be stuck with the same people so it’s alright
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
verycoolperson
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#20
Report 1 week ago
#20
SALAM
MY advice is to AVOID all maLE interactions, dress AND ACT as modestly as possible and get married
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you registered to vote?

Yes! (551)
37.82%
No - but I will (114)
7.82%
No - I don't want to (102)
7%
No - I can't vote (<18, not in UK, etc) (690)
47.36%

Watched Threads

View All