Never know what to say IRL

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Mruczega
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So I think I have social anxiety but this post ain't me going into the reasons why I think so. This is more of a general rant. I also want to see if people can relate.

When we are face to face, talking to me is like talking to a brick wall. However online I can talk to you about anything and everything. I will never run out of things to say. I'm very open about everything when talking to people online.

A bit off topic but still relevant, I once had a moment like that IRL and it ended up with me giving my ex-math teacher a 30-minute speech about a bunch of random things. Honestly, a very fun time. I just can't do that in real life. Last time that this happened was about 2 years ago. Except for the anxiety part, I am very chatty. Before I got it I would never shut up. I love talking.
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Mruczega
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Finally, it got approved.
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username3941996
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It’s fine to have social anxiety. Actually pretty normal for some people. That describes me to an extent. I’m generally improving my conversation skills in real life but online, it does sound like I’m a different person.

Perhaps you enjoy talking to people you are comfortable with.
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Mruczega
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(Original post by Professional G)
It’s fine to have social anxiety. Actually pretty normal for some people. That describes me to an extent. I’m generally improving my conversation skills in real life but online, it does sound like I’m a different person.

Perhaps you enjoy talking to people you are comfortable with.
I was thinking that at first but I can't do it even with people I'm comfortable with. It happened once with a teacher and for the rest of the year, all I could say were basically simple short things. I can't talk freely to my best friend. It feels so much easier to type everything.

I can relate to the whole seeming like a different person thing. I hope that I get better at talking to people in real life. Same goes to you, honestly all the best with that.

To be honest the whole social anxiety thing, just sucks. It isn't getting any better. It's like an easy way to get held back in life. You have anything you would like to do but you struggle with because of something you can't control?
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username3941996
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(Original post by Mruczega)
I was thinking that at first but I can't do it even with people I'm comfortable with. It happened once with a teacher and for the rest of the year, all I could say were basically simple short things. I can't talk freely to my best friend. It feels so much easier to type everything.

I can relate to the whole seeming like a different person thing. I hope that I get better at talking to people in real life. Same goes to you, honestly all the best with that.

To be honest the whole social anxiety thing, just sucks. It isn't getting any better. It's like an easy way to get held back in life. You have anything you would like to do but you struggle with because of something you can't control?
It takes time to get used to being comfortable around people.
As long as you have the motivation, gradually you’ll become more confident.
Just get used to trying small talk and being friendly.

It’s common. Thanks, just have to take risks and put yourself out there. There’s no harm in trying.

No one chooses to being socially anxious but you shouldn’t let that stop you from being the person you want to be.

Maybe finding a girlfriend but that’s a common thing and I’m getting better at being myself around others. Just have to find someone I guess.
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Mruczega
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(Original post by Professional G)
It takes time to get used to being comfortable around people.
As long as you have the motivation, gradually you’ll become more confident.
Just get used to trying small talk and being friendly.

It’s common. Thanks, just have to take risks and put yourself out there. There’s no harm in trying.

No one chooses to being socially anxious but you shouldn’t let that stop you from being the person you want to be.

Maybe finding a girlfriend but that’s a common thing and I’m getting better at being myself around others. Just have to find someone I guess.
Yeah, I'm planning to go in small steps. Still, suck at the small talk thing. Been trying it but it isn't going far yet but I did get hella good at talking online. On a side note, I'm extremely good at dealing with setting up appointments and dealing with the authority as long as I know exactly what I'm doing.

I am trying not to let it stop me from doing things but I am on the extreme end, need help and have been trying to get myself to get some but it's been a long journey. I ended up trying to set appointments, once I called and guess what, they were closed for the day, another day I came a bit too late and they ran out of appointments and that really sucks. Once upon the time, I couldn't talk to people at all. Not even stuff like "yes" or "no." I could try to force myself but nothing would come out, it felt like I had something stuck in my throat.

You have anyone you're interested in yet?
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username3941996
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(Original post by Mruczega)
Yeah, I'm planning to go in small steps. Still, suck at the small talk thing. Been trying it but it isn't going far yet but I did get hella good at talking online. On a side note, I'm extremely good at dealing with setting up appointments and dealing with the authority as long as I know exactly what I'm doing.

I am trying not to let it stop me from doing things but I am on the extreme end, need help and have been trying to get myself to get some but it's been a long journey. I ended up trying to set appointments, once I called and guess what, they were closed for the day, another day I came a bit too late and they ran out of appointments and that really sucks. Once upon the time, I couldn't talk to people at all. Not even stuff like "yes" or "no." I could try to force myself but nothing would come out, it felt like I had something stuck in my throat.

You have anyone you're interested in yet?
It’s about having faith and practice. Just keep practicing and getting used to talking to people.

Sometimes, even going through conversations you had will help.

It’s just a bit of bad luck. Something which isn’t uncommon. There are resources online that could help. I had to have lessons due to me being unable to talk to people but it made a difference and now I am able to talk to anyone.

Not yet. It’s been hard to find people but it’s not anything I’m fussing over. The right person will come naturally I guess.
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username3941996
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(Original post by Mruczega)
Yeah, I'm planning to go in small steps. Still, suck at the small talk thing. Been trying it but it isn't going far yet but I did get hella good at talking online. On a side note, I'm extremely good at dealing with setting up appointments and dealing with the authority as long as I know exactly what I'm doing.

I am trying not to let it stop me from doing things but I am on the extreme end, need help and have been trying to get myself to get some but it's been a long journey. I ended up trying to set appointments, once I called and guess what, they were closed for the day, another day I came a bit too late and they ran out of appointments and that really sucks. Once upon the time, I couldn't talk to people at all. Not even stuff like "yes" or "no." I could try to force myself but nothing would come out, it felt like I had something stuck in my throat.

You have anyone you're interested in yet?
Also, that feeling of having something in your throat is also common. It’s a symptom of anxiety. Being confident and learning to over come your anxiety will help lessen that feeling.
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Mruczega
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(Original post by Professional G)
It’s about having faith and practice. Just keep practicing and getting used to talking to people.

Sometimes, even going through conversations you had will help.

It’s just a bit of bad luck. Something which isn’t uncommon. There are resources online that could help. I had to have lessons due to me being unable to talk to people but it made a difference and now I am able to talk to anyone.

Not yet. It’s been hard to find people but it’s not anything I’m fussing over. The right person will come naturally I guess.
Best of luck with that. Just make sure that the right person is truly right for you because there is no point in trying to make a relationship work when it won't. Btw, you on here often? I remember seeing you since like 2018. You're very active on here.
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Anonymous #1
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Hey this happens to me too!!
Once I was talking to this guy (we had met before) on text and it was so easy, we never ran out of things to say. And when we met in irl it’s like I was a different person- I couldn’t put a single sentence together without talking nonsense in between! I have social anxiety too so that’s probably a factor. Going to follow this thread because I want to know why this happens to us too :L
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Mruczega
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey this happens to me too!!
Once I was talking to this guy (we had met before) on text and it was so easy, we never ran out of things to say. And when we met in irl it’s like I was a different person- I couldn’t put a single sentence together without talking nonsense in between! I have social anxiety too so that’s probably a factor. Going to follow this thread because I want to know why this happens to us too :L
Hard to say but you know what, at the very least we got the "talking online" thing figured out. That sounds like a step in the right direction
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Mruczega
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(Original post by Professional G)
Also, that feeling of having something in your throat is also common. It’s a symptom of anxiety. Being confident and learning to over come your anxiety will help lessen that feeling.
I don't really lack confidence. I know it's a common thing for people with social anxiety to have an issue with it and it does make sense when you think about it but honestly, anxiety is a thing that lacks sense. Maybe I do have an issue with confidence (even if it's just a slight one) that I don't really notice.
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Anonymous #1
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True, so many people find it hard to talk over text. I think for me it comes from social anxiety too because I feel like when I am in person there is a high expectation to be just as you are over text. Especially because say you are cracking a witty joke, there is ample time to think of it in comparison to when you are face to face. Even writing this is easier than saying it in person when you are on the spot in my opinion?
(Original post by Mruczega)
Hard to say but you know what, at the very least we got the "talking online" thing figured out. That sounds like a step in the right direction
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Mruczega
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(Original post by Anonymous)
True, so many people find it hard to talk over text. I think for me it comes from social anxiety too because I feel like when I am in person there is a high expectation to be just as you are over text. Especially because say you are cracking a witty joke, there is ample time to think of it in comparison to when you are face to face. Even writing this is easier than saying it in person when you are on the spot in my opinion?
Yeah, I fully agree with you. If I have the choice of meeting
A) an online friend
B) a complete stranger

Option B would be less stressful because there are no expectations. But honestly, I would rather be thrown into a situation because waiting gives time for my anxiety to go up, and makes me want to nauseous and sometimes vomit.

I hope you don't mind me asking. I would message you in private but you're anonymous but is it getting better or worse for you? Are you getting any help for this?
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username3941996
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(Original post by Mruczega)
Best of luck with that. Just make sure that the right person is truly right for you because there is no point in trying to make a relationship work when it won't. Btw, you on here often? I remember seeing you since like 2018. You're very active on here.
Thanks, I hope things go well with you too. Better making it work with someone who wants to then making it work with someone who isn’t bothered.
Yep, i’ve been here since last year. I think I like this site a lot despite being a very weird site.






(Original post by Mruczega)
I don't really lack confidence. I know it's a common thing for people with social anxiety to have an issue with it and it does make sense when you think about it but honestly, anxiety is a thing that lacks sense. Maybe I do have an issue with confidence (even if it's just a slight one) that I don't really notice.
Anxiety hasn’t been explained yet. It’s usually something that affects those who get reallly anxious at a point. Anxiety can leave a range of symptoms. Never easy to recognise what they are.
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