Do you think it’s racist to say you’re not attracted to an ethnicity? Watch

mgi
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#21
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#21
(Original post by TripleTommy)
Hi,

I was having a debate with my friends about dating and one of them said, “I’m mainly attracted to blonde, white girls”, which seems fair as it’s a preference thing but then he said “I’m just not really attracted to black people”.

He said this wasn’t racist as it’s the same as saying you’re not attracted to gingers or people under 5 foot 5 day and he’s just more personally attracted to white people.

I get where he’s coming from but do you think if someone said they’re not attracted to a particular ethnicity, whether it be white people, black people, Asians etc, it should be classified as racist?

He wouldn’t discriminate against black people and would be more than happy to be friends with them, he just said he doesn’t find them attractive in a dating sense.

Thoughts?
Here is the point: date who the hell you want. But please don't start labelling a whole race of people as being unsuitable for you to date because they are all unsuitable to date because they are all unattractive to you! That is the racist bit. Why not just say i like blonde white girls, asian girls etc ?
Last edited by mgi; 1 week ago
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Princepieman
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#22
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yes.

there's far too much variety on this planet to write off hundreds of millions to billions of people.

it's one thing if you tend to gravitate towards certain types of people based on upbringing, mix of folks in your current location in life, preferences in terms of certain features.. but it's another to literally say "i don't date x ethnicity" (there's no way of sugar coating how problematic that is).

like sure, i'm black i grew up upper middle class as a kid/slightly less as a teen and go to some posh uni. it means most of the folks i end up sleeping with/going on dates with tend to be white, east asian or south asian. that's what happens. i'm sure if there were more folks from different ethnic groups around there'd be more attractive people (to me anyway) from those ethnic groups.. just not the case.
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Bang Outta Order
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Hiro2468)
Imo it's not rascist it's just a preference. Unless they say "eww their skin colour is disgusting" or stuff like that.
but that's what they're thinking regardless of what they say. Racism is a mentality, discrimination/prejudice is the act of that racist mentality. Racism is therefore silent and effects actions, so if you won't even consider someone of a certain race it means you are racist, end of. "It's just a preference" is a meme at this point, it's what everyone mindlessly says because it sounds rights, yet you add nothing to the discussion repeating socially acceptable buggery.
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I'mComingOxford
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#24
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#24
personally i'm only attracted to white girls for some reason. i've seen a fair amount of cute asians and black, but not attracted to them as my preference.

wish i could control it to make it to everyone :lol:
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londonmyst
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#25
(Original post by ANM775)

It does technically meet the criteria for racism to say you are not attracted to someone on the basis of their race but it is socially acceptable racism
No it doesn't.
Racism is racial hatred of collective groups of people solely on grounds of racial bloodlines- not at all socially acceptable amongst reasonable people.
A person saying that they are not attracted to people who are short, bald or have visible tatoos is not the same as having hatred for people whose appearances fit that criteria.
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_gcx
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#26
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#26
(Original post by BlueIndigoViolet)
nope youre entitled to a preference...

like this youtuber: "If you dont date black/trans people, thats pretty discriminatory"....
They're being disingenuous if they're comparing not dating trans people (not everyone feels comfortable with this. Is not dating gay people as a het person homophobic now?) to not dating anyone from an entire ethnicity.
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Bang Outta Order
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#27
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#27
(Original post by londonmyst)
No it doesn't.
Racism is racial hatred of collective groups of people solely on grounds of racial bloodlines- not at all socially acceptable amongst reasonable people.
hold on there, racism is not racial hatred. Don't over-exaggerate and sensationalise. Racism is simply the mentality that one race is superior to another. It can even mean thinking a race is superior to your own. Hatred connotes violence, yet racism can be very peaceful, "implicit," and harmless, it can simply be a vague disinterest in someone else, such as not finding them attractive, not wanting to be their friend, not wanting to sit next to them, talk to them, without hating them. It can really just be indifference. People really do need to accept what racism is and not shy away from it, or try to talk yourself out of it or spin into something other than what it is. Just own it, you don't want someone from x, y, z group because you don't like em or respect em and you think they're not good enough for ya, meaning you're racist or separatist. End of. It's totally ok, just say it. As long as you don't spit on em.
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Themysticalegg
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#28
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Nope, people just have different tastes.
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Bang Outta Order
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#29
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#29
(Original post by _gcx)
They're being disingenuous if they're comparing not dating trans people (not everyone feels comfortable with this. Is not dating gay people as a het person homophobic now?) to not dating anyone from an entire ethnicity.
exactly wht I just said, read my response to him/her on this page
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Anonymous #2
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#30
(Original post by Princepieman)
yes.

there's far too much variety on this planet to write off hundreds of millions to billions of people.

it's one thing if you tend to gravitate towards certain types of people based on upbringing, mix of folks in your current location in life, preferences in terms of certain features.. but it's another to literally say "i don't date x ethnicity" (there's no way of sugar coating how problematic that is).

like sure, i'm black i grew up upper middle class as a kid/slightly less as a teen and go to some posh uni. it means most of the folks i end up sleeping with/going on dates with tend to be white, east asian or south asian. that's what happens. i'm sure if there were more folks from different ethnic groups around there'd be more attractive people (to me anyway) from those ethnic groups.. just not the case.
im still not attracted to black people lol
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Bang Outta Order
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#31
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#31
(Original post by I'mComingOxford)
personally i'm only attracted to white girls for some reason. i've seen a fair amount of cute asians and black, but not attracted to them as my preference.

wish i could control it to make it to everyone :lol:
for you to find black/asian girls attractive yet you're not attracted to them, it seems as if you'd get with a white girl who you dont even find attractive lol
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TheNamesBond.
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#32
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#32
(Original post by ANM775)
That's not a good argument because If someone in your class or work or uni admitted being attracted to 7 year old children he'd be branded a pedophile and socially ostracised immediately.

people literally wouldn't even sit next to him.

society DOES expect people to control what they are and aren't attracted to.


It does technically meet the criteria for racism to say you are not attracted to someone on the basis of their race but it is socially acceptable racism
Paedophilia is not the same.

Please don't try that angle.

It's not racism, you don't have a choice as to what you are and what you are not attracted to, you cannot use paedophilia as a counter, it is not the same, you're either attracted or not attracted.
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Anonymous #3
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#33
(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
hold on there, racism is not racial hatred. Don't over-exaggerate and sensationalise. Racism is simply the mentality that one race is superior to another. It can even mean thinking a race is superior to your own. Hatred connotes violence, yet racism can be very peaceful, "implicit," and harmless, it can simply be a vague disinterest in someone else, such as not finding them attractive, not wanting to be their friend, not wanting to sit next to them, talk to them, without hating them. It can really just be indifference. People really do need to accept what racism is and not shy away from it, or try to talk yourself out of it or spin into something other than what it is. Just own it, you don't want someone from x, y, z group because you don't like em or respect em and you think they're not good enough for ya, meaning you're racist or separatist. End of. It's totally ok, just say it. As long as you don't spit on em.
you are saying all this but I bet your yourself are not attracted to all races....
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Profesh
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Anonymous)
racism or not im simply not attracted to black people lol
'Blackness' as a concept originates in social anthropology rather than biology, and in actuality encompasses an almost inconceivably diverse range of phenotypes whose sole unifying characteristic (if any) is some propinquity with African heritage. As I've expounded in previous such threads:
[W]hile one can legitimately prefer paler skin over darker skin, or even spurn certain features characteristic of Nubian heritage (much as a dislike for monolids would largely rule out persons matching the description of 'oriental'), 'black' is ultimately an umbrella term encompassing such a multitude of possible phenotypes—including straight hair, caucasoid noses, and skin-tone potentially as light as any strain of Middle-Eastern, Mediterranean or South-Asian ancestry—that to declare oneself aesthetically 'unattracted to black women' inevitably suggests either an underlying ideological bias, or else a definition of 'black' so narrow-minded as to be itself tantamount to racism.

Consequently, although I accept that stereotypically 'black' features may be a turn-off, pre-emptively discounting everyone who could realistically be ascribed that term without also dismissing vast swathes of indigenous South Asia, Australasia, South America and the Middle East, can only amount to an implicit admission of bigotry.

Or, put another way: when 'black' can refer to this, this and this pretty much interchangeably, the notion of finding 'all black women' unattractive necessarily takes on some rather unsavoury connotations.
All of which is to say that, while not racist per se, boldly proclaiming to 'not be attracted' to this nebulous, wildly variegated expanse of humanity [cf. here, here, here, here] which would nominally contain some 1.2 billion people does imply a perception of 'black' so reductive and stereotypical as to constitute legitimate grounds for offence.

So: can you answer to that?
Last edited by Profesh; 1 week ago
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Emma:-)
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#35
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#35
(Original post by Tootles)
It isn't racist. Some people don't find certain skin types or colours attractive in a potential partner. I struggle to see how you could think it could be considered racist. By that logic, not being bisexual should be considered sexist.
I agree
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Bang Outta Order
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I'm attracted to all sorts of women except asian and i'll tell you why. I keep an open mind if she's just ****ing gorgeous like if the Asian girl is like dark tan with that long soft black hair and a nice face like good teeth and a nice nose and not hairy and stuff and a nice body then ok, like Nicole Scherzinger :perv: but otherwise I can't be attracted to em because of culture differences, so i dont even bother really lol, and east asian girls I just rarely find attractive physically and they kinda weird me out no grown woman should walk around the way some of them do haha.

But even though I am not attracted to them, I won't be sat here saying that none of em are attractive, cos that's a lie. There are people who cant even admit that someone is attractive, that's just racist lol.
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Cloudiii
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#37
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Its not racist, its just preference. Im more attracted to mixed and black guys. Doesnt mean Im racist against white people, Im just not really into them romantically.
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Anonymous #1
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#38
(Original post by Profesh)
'Blackness' as a concept originates in social anthropology rather than biology, and in actuality encompasses an almost inconceivably diverse range of phenotypes whose sole unifying characteristic (if any) is some propinquity with African heritage. As I've expounded in previous such threads:


All of which is to say that, while not racist per se, boldly proclaiming to 'not be attracted' to this nebulous, wildly variegated expanse of humanity which would nominally contain some 1.2 billion people does imply a perception of 'black' so reductive and stereotypical as to be legitimately offensive.

So: can you answer to that?
lemme make it clear im not attracted to anyone who is BLACK. you dont need to give me a gene lecture okay i simply dont find them good looking. i dont find dark skin attractive.
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Bang Outta Order
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#39
(Original post by Anonymous)
you are saying all this but I bet your yourself are not attracted to all races....
what? "all races"? who is attracted to everyone from every race? we're discussing finding people within certain races attractive or not, and I have found women from all races attractive, so what is your point..?
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Bang Outta Order
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#40
(Original post by Anonymous)
lemme make it clear im not attracted to anyone who is BLACK. you dont need to give me a gene lecture okay i simply dont find them good looking. i dont find dark skin attractive.


firstly, not all black people have dark skin.
2nd, not only black people have dark skin.
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