The Student Room Group

Any one feel so much hate towards their parent(s)?

Honest question, I really would like to know because I just know too many people that get on with their parents like a house on fire and only have 'silly' arguments.

I'm tired of living with my mum, she makes me feel like **** almost everyday of the week, if it's not telling me I can't have a small chocolate bar for a snack because I'm too fat it's telling me that I'm a horrible person with no respect for anyone. She's decided that I'll always look fat unless i weigh 8stone and wear a size 6 (or 8 if I really must) just because I'm only about 5 ft tall. Im a 10 on top and a 10/12 in trousers/skirts etc and she tells me frequently that my clothes look horrible because I'm too fat and she makes me feel physically sick for looking the way I do, ironically she's about an inch taller and a size 18/20 but it's ok because shes on a diet (which she has been for the past 10 years). And because I get upset or angry and then fail to do some of the house 'chores' ... that makes me a horrible person with no respect for the person who puts a roof above my head.

Sorry I'm going on but I need this say, why is she like this? :frown: I need to get out

Scroll to see replies

She'll be jealous that you're young and she's not
Such a classic case of a mother projecting her own insecurities on to her children. I've known mothers who are like that, they don't change until they're about 60. From your profile I see you're at uni already. Do you live at home as well?
Reply 3
I would never hate my Mum, I love her too much! :smile:
Maybe she just doesn't want you to end up like her - obese? Perhaps she feel that she cannot properly control her own weight and diet, so she at least wants better for you. Or maybe she just wants control.

Why don't you sit down and try have an honest discussion with her. Tell her how you feel, maybe she doesn't realize how much she is upsetting you. Food and dieting and body image is such a sensitive, emotive issue...
brightxburns
Maybe she just doesn't want you to end up like her - obese? Perhaps she feel that she cannot properly control her own weight and diet, so she at least wants better for you. Or maybe she just wants control.

Why don't you sit down and try have an honest discussion with her. Tell her how you feel, maybe she doesn't realize how much she is upsetting you.


Unfortunately last time I told her that she was really upsetting me she said I was being pathetic. She can't control her diet, she counts calories, but says that snacks don't really count... and eats a sausage roll. To me, she seems completelt backwards.

Im sure she doesn't want me to end up like her but she's not helping in any way at all.
Rabbit Season
Such a classic case of a mother projecting her own insecurities on to her children. I've known mothers who are like that, they don't change until they're about 60. From your profile I see you're at uni already. Do you live at home as well?


Yes, when I applied at Uni I went for one close to home so I could still live here, I wasn't really interested in the whole student thing I just go for the education. I now wonder why the hell I stayed at home. I honestly thought things between us would improve now I'm older.
Reply 7
Maybe she cares about you and doesn't want to see you get as a big as her, just maybe going about it in the wrong way ...
Reply 8
my father is a ****
Last Kiss
my father is a ****


Yeh mine is too but luckily I don't see him anymore. Wish I got along with one parent though :frown:
Reply 10
Maybe you should start calling her fat?
ChosenOne
Maybe she cares about you and doesn't want to see you get as a big as her, just maybe going about it in the wrong way ...


Well I'm sure that's what it is but why doesn't she see that all she's doing is making me hate her :frown: I don't even worry too much about my size because I don't really want to be any smaller than a size 10 anyway (personal preference because of my figure) but that makes her angry... I think she's just trying to make me into what she would want to be
sometimes your parents do it on purpose so that you always try your best in everything you do- my dad constantly tells me to go get something done, like get into uni for example and once i done that tells me to get good grades etc, it does get really annoying and i do get put down sometimes but i know that they are proud of me and the only reason he does it is so that i become the best i possibly can, career wise, health wise and socially. if they don't push me then no-one else will.
but i do see how it has become irritating for you maybe your mother used to be your shape at your age and was like you diet wise etc and sees that you may potentially put on weight like she did, have you looked at it like that? maybe she could do it in a nicer way, but you need to find out her motives first.
3105
Maybe you should start calling her fat?


I wouldn't dare!!!! She would knock me into next week.
Reply 14
I really dislike my father. It's not hate, at least I don't think it is, but there's times when I actually wish he would die or something. Harsh, but whatever.

I think you should definitely speak to your Mum about it, no matter how hard it would be or how she's reacted to you speaking to her in the past. :smile:
I know exactly what you mean! Notice how most parental problems involve the parent critisising their child for the way they look? This means that she is indeed jealous because she is growing old and ugly and you are still young and possibly, better looking than her. So she almost has to avenge her ageing looks on you just to make you feel bad.

Stay strong girl!

If you need any help, feel free to PM me.

~Ramadulla
Move out?
dentalstudentGKT
sometimes your parents do it on purpose so that you always try your best in everything you do- my dad constantly tells me to go get something done, like get into uni for example and once i done that tells me to get good grades etc, it does get really annoying and i do get put down sometimes but i know that they are proud of me and the only reason he does it is so that i become the best i possibly can, career wise, health wise and socially. if they don't push me then no-one else will.
but i do see how it has become irritating for you maybe your mother used to be your shape at your age and was like you diet wise etc and sees that you may potentially put on weight like she did, have you looked at it like that? maybe she could do it in a nicer way, but you need to find out her motives first.


I think her reasons could be this exactly, she did used to be slimmer but she doesn't even say things that would prevent me from putting on weight she just tells me I already look horrible and I can't even go shopping with her anymore because she looks disgusted when I buy size 12 jeans.
Carlos The Villan
Move out?


Dya think I would manage at uni to live with my boyfriend if I had to put in the extra hours at work to contribute? I'm scared that I'll start failing at uni
shorty.loves.angels
Dya think I would manage at uni to live with my boyfriend if I had to put in the extra hours at work to contribute? I'm scared that I'll start failing at uni


Either that or continue to suffer abuse from your mum.