COL BULLIES causing SH

please keep anon

SORRY FOR THE ESSAY BUT NEED TO SAY IT CANT TELL PEOPLE BECAUE I GET WORKED UP THOUGHT SOMEONE MAY BE ABLE TO HELP ON TSR!!!!

last yr i was in col completed the course and loved every minute of it. Went back to do the next level but all my friends from last yr went to do a different course in the col.

when i started my new course this yr i felt excited because it was something i really enjoyed doing. But when i got to col on the first moning my confidence shattered everyone seemed so confident compared to me and everyone had seemed to form into groups. I had my own little group there was three of us one girl i had known from school and the other girl didnt have much confidence either, they were really good mates and when i needed to ask the tutors something they would do it for me coz my confidence was so low(i had reasons for my confidence to be so low ask if you want to know more)

but soon then one of the girls started having a go at me and the other girl stood by her i felt alone, its now nearly four months since the arguement started, since then i have been threatend, accused of being two faced and attention seeking even though being in the centre of attention freaks me out, the tow girls have also turned the rest of the class against me bar two people, everyday on the bus for the 30 minute journey i have them slagging me off loud enough for me to hear and then again one the 30minute journey back home. I've been accused of things i havent done and i am actually petrified to go to college. the two girls have gone to the tutor saying i'm doing stuff that i'm not, i've tried explaining the situation to the tutors at first i couldnt then with help from my friends last yr i spoke to my tutor both my firends broke down crying saying it wasnt fair that way i was being treated. The col got my parents in twice my parents told them about how i was making myself ill and said that i'm scared to go to col and the tutors reply are that the other girls story is different so there nothing they can do.

really dont know what to do the 'bullies' said it was because i didnt speak so i have tried to improve on my confidence and the tutors say that they can see the improvement, i have tried apoligising but it just makes things worse

i cant eat properly, i making myself sick, i'm having panic attacks, i get shaky and stuttery i get dizziness, is SH but no-one knows. Please help someone people say if you being bullied to go to the tutors but what if they dont believe despite the fact that your parents and friends have said that it's so serious if it carries on i'm worried i might do something stupid -x- ANY POSTS WELCOME -x- I'M DESPARATE -x-

Reply 1

randdom

I would say that what these girls are doing to you s bullying and I would deffinately try to talk to a teacher again. This doesn't have to be your tutor if you have a subject teacher that you are closer too then talk to them about it. It isn't fair that your tutor accepted their word over yours as claims of bullying need to be investigated so I would give it another shot.

With regards to the issues that you mention in the last paragraph of your thread it is probably worth you going to your GP do discuss it. There are things that can be done to help you with all of the problems that you describe and they will be able to offer general support as well as providing the information and possibly referrals that you would benefit from.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

hey thanks for the post tried speaking to my course tutor several time and she got the faulty managers involved o they know about whats been going on, told subject tutors as well but it still not sorted the tutors just keep saying that there only a week left in col but the course is two yr and considering that it been going on since febuary dont think it's going to stop by semptember, The thing that is annyoing is i was there last yr and there was no problems they come to the col first yr this year and all the problems start, both my work placement have offered me employment, one of the girl's placement called her childish and flippant, and its gone from at the start of this year being told i dont talk enough to me being made out to be a bully.

My tutors given me options
1. Get transferred onto the course that ma mates frm last yr are doing coz it basically the same
2. quit col and do different course
3. quit col find job and the qualification through work
4. quit col and get job using the qualification i already got

but with those options dont see why i should leave when the others are sayignt thath they had enough and may leave meaning that i may leave giving up my dreams and then find out when it too late that the other girls aint gone back need to decide by the 6-6-08 whether i'm going back in spetember or not.

Thanks fir the post though -x-

Reply 3

diafolgwyllt

simular problem wish i could stop it :frown:

Reply 4

Sapphire_Eyes

Is there not an option of doing some of the modules at home if they give you the relevant information? Or can you not do the course part time and work?

Which course are you doing?
Quite horrible with the college giving you those options, they should been kicked off out right.

Is there a students union you can go to

Write everything down as much as possible and take it to the head of the college if it happens again
Keep talking to as many adults as possible

Reply 5

laura loo - x

These girls sound absoloutley pathetic tbh and they need to grow up. From what i can tell you've done nothing wrong and even if you had done, the way theyre behaving is ridiculous.
But because of what their putting you through your becoming a stronger person and i don't think that you should have to leave or change courses, you need to stick it out in my opinion because you have as much right to be there as them.

Reply 6

Sapphire_Eyes

with their behaviour im surprised they are allowed to stay on!

Reply 7

Somebody

Not sure how thesable this is, but would it be possible to subtly record the girls on the bus? (like have a voice recorder in your pocket or something?). Then you can play it back to your tutor with more solid proof of what they are doing?

I would say go back to your college in September and see if it gets better - there's a 2 month break between now and then, so there is the possibility it does die down.

Other than that, I don't really know what else to say :frown:

*hugs*

Reply 8

Erik.

Anonymous

1. Get transferred onto the course that ma mates frm last yr are doing coz it basically the same

do that?

I know you shouldn't have too, but sometimes you can just cant win with people like that and have to get away from them, sometimes they are just not worth the fight, it's clearly causing you a lot of pain and anguish already..

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

hey thanks for posts still not made my mind up about staying it too last for some options now but planned a meeting with my course/personal tutor tomorrow to discuss my options brok up from col for the holidays 2weeks ago and one girl is draggin my sis in giving my sis dirty looks in the street when my sis aint done nowt, my mum has also been critically ill in hospital because she refused to go to the docs until she had been to the second meeting with my tutors (three days later she in high dependency unit dying) luckily she made it but starting to give up now will let you know how it goes tomorrow

THANKS FOR ALL POSTS PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING really appreciate them ALL X-x-X

Reply 10

Eternal Dreams

Sometimes not worth the hassle of doing this and can break down what relationships there are, but couple of things I would suggest...

a) Record all the instances of this happening in a diary exclusively devoted to this. A record of it if you will.
b) Go to the tutors/teachers and make it clear this is causing problems with the record if you feel it is needed

If they still aren't responding to your or helping, then start creating paper-work. Official letters to the college with duplicates kept and letters directly to superiors of tutors if there continues to be problems (e.g. head). All correspondence on paper and clearly recorded. If they still don't deal with the issue then start writing correspondence to the board of governors informing them of the problems. Making it clear if something isn't done about it you'll inform the local papers that the college is making no effort to halt bullying with your story/the local ombudsman.

Whilst this won't make you the most popular girl in school something will be done about it and relatively quickly I'd bet and long before you have to take most of those steps.

Making it official and on paper shows you have nothing to hide. You are the innocent party. At the moment I'd bet half of the time your meetings are in reaction to them saying something to the tutor and trying to get you in trouble so you're looking guilty.

Colleges/Schools hate nothing more than to have things taken officially and be made to actually do their jobs and protect pupils. They must have an anti-bullying policy by law and the LEA will enforce that I think...

Regardless these are fairly severe steps (except the journal- start that immediately) but keep copies of everything that happens and your own notes on meetings etc. even if it is just in the form of posting it up on here.

Colleges and teachers have a duty to protect pupils which I think is shamefully ignored by many in the hope of an easy life. The following steps wil generally force them to take action because the board/head will force them to because they'll be terrified of a lawsuit/the negative publicity.

Reply 11

Eternal Dreams

Final thing I'd suggest is transferring to the same course as your friends if it doesn't cause a load of problems. You probably will be happier.

Best of luck. Contact me if you would like any more help and I might be able to point you in the right direction.

Reply 12

hec

from the sounds of it, going to a teach or whatever about it will only make things worse. theres not much u can do about bullyin that actually has the desired effect (ie going to a teacher will just make them hate you more lol), i suggest transferring and doing the same course as your mates, cos really its not all about the course, its also about u know, feeling happy and not threatened all the time haha

dont quit, just get a transfer to be with your mates, dont let em force u outta a course that u like just cos they are being c u next tuesdays. you sound like a real doll so **** those bitches, theres haters all through life but u dont need to put up with it!

Reply 13

Eternal Dreams

To me that kind of misses the point...the problem is that the girls probably don't even mind her that much if htey honestly got down to it, but they've decided that they can use her as a target for their childish abuse.

Regardless in the real world people dislike each other all the time (I get on with most people but there are one or two that really set my teeth on edge!) the point is that people still treat each other with respect and dignity.

I agree that the transfer might be the best option, but at the end of the day she doesn't want to be forced out and it is the only way these girls will learn that in real life if you try and do that, you end up in serious trouble.

As for teacher not doing anything- trust me- if a teacher thinks their job is on the line they start moving pretty damn quickly.

Reply 14

hec

Eternal Dreams

ye i understand all this and agree that in many situations that's the better course of action to take but judging on what she wrote i dont think that would work.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

hec

dont quit, just get a transfer to be with your mates, dont let em force u outta a course that u like just cos they are being c u next tuesdays. you sound like a real doll so **** those bitches, theres haters all through life but u dont need to put up with it!

thanks for the advice sorry got to ask though what do you mean c u next tuesdays?

thanks eternal dreams and for everyone else's advice to :biggrin:

really making the situation more bearable

-x-

Reply 16

Somebody

Anonymous

thanks for the advice sorry got to ask though what do you mean c u next tuesdays?

It's a swear word.... take the first letter of each of those words and you have a word that you can't type on TSR :p:

Reply 17

lolaclementine

how old are you?
these people sound very immature and stupid

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

lol thanks for the explanation 'somebody' i get what you mean now sorry prone to blonde moments.

and 'lolaclementine' i believe it or not have just turned 18 and the two that causing the problems are going to be 18 aroud November time childish i know wish i could say it didnt bother me but it getting out of hand if i see them in a shop or if they pass me on the street they give me filthy looks and stuff. My tutor recently sorted out a youth worker for me only met her once so far but she seems nice enough so hopefully she will help

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR POSTS KEEP THEM COMING APPRECIATE THEM ALL!!!
tsr people have helped me so much its
made it that little but more bearable.
-x-