Can Boys and Girls be JUST friends? Watch

TSRFT8
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An interesting debate I saw and one which is quite relevant in this day and age.


What is your HONEST opinion, can a boy and girl be just friends? What if one is single and the other is in a relationship, or both are in a relationship?
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by TSRFT8)
An interesting debate I saw and one which is quite relevant in this day and age.


What is your HONEST opinion, can a boy and girl be just friends? What if one is single and the other is in a relationship, or both are in a relationship?
Yes they can be.
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It's****ingWOODY
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I've had countless female friends over the years who I never even considered taking things further with.
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ltsmith
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if neither of them are attracted to the other, then yes.
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TSRFT8
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
Yes they can be.
Interesting - I held the same view but now my opinion is of the contrary.

Can they still be friends if she is in a relationship and he does not know? Maybe if one likes the other but is scared to say?
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CoolCavy
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yes.
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Minxel
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I think they can be yes as I had a guy friend in college and it was totally platonic. We were both single so we could have dated each other if we wanted and we had a laugh all the time and stuff but neither of us fancied the other. It was purely friendship
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TSRFT8
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(Original post by ltsmith)
if neither of them are attracted to the other, then yes.
So what if I said, the guy is in a relationship but tells the girl some problems within his current gf and she over times becomes a shoulder to lean on and sees her as a better option?

What if they are meeting up and the boyfriend/girlfriend of one or both is not present? Surely over time you will end up developing feelings if it matures maybe over a year or 10 but sometime during it one will surely fall for the other
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by TSRFT8)
Interesting - I held the same view but now my opinion is of the contrary.

Can they still be friends if she is in a relationship and he does not know? Maybe if one likes the other but is scared to say?
Why do either of them have to like each other romantically?
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Leviathan1611
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yeah, ever heard of siblings???
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UWS
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It would clearly depend on the people in question. There's no right answer to this.

I mean sure, it's possible to develop feelings for someone when you're really close but some friends are simply just that.
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Palmyra
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Not always, but yes, 'tis possible.
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byeongkwans
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I would’ve said yes, and honestly it’s nice when you can JUST be friends. However, some of the experiences I’ve had with my male friends recently make me think otherwise. I think it’s possible but you need to have really good boundaries in place and not become emotionally reliant on them (which I learned the hard way).
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RoyalSheepy
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(Original post by Leviathan1611)
yeah, ever heard of siblings???
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TSRFT8
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(Original post by byeongkwans)
I would’ve said yes, and honestly it’s nice when you can JUST be friends. However, some of the experiences I’ve had with my male friends recently make me think otherwise. I think it’s possible but you need to have really good boundaries in place and not become emotionally reliant on them (which I learned the hard way).
This is interesting. I watched a few "experiments" per say (yes, wild Friday night, I know!) and the girls were usually under the impression the guys were just wanting friendships, but when the same question was posed to the boys, they all said how they would date, or would have sex, IF the girl offered. Meaning, yes, they are friends but the attraction is always there.

I dont like to say ALL friendships are like this, but I would be stupid to presume that every friendship between a boy and girl is platonic.

I had a girl bestfriend we were friends for like 5 years+ and she was always joking about how she will find me the perfect girl etc etc and then when I got a girlfriend she cried and got upset, of course, I probably would have felt the same. We were always scared to break the friendship boundaries UNTIL the other one did.
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TSRFT8
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
Why do either of them have to like each other romantically?
Unless they are gay or one is gay then I guess there will never be that attraction, but I seriously do believe that if they are both straight or both gay then OVER TIME they will catch feelings, its natural, its human. How many friendships have lasted between boys and girls where one has gt a partner and not once have they crossed the boundary? I would guess not many, if any at all.
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by TSRFT8)
Unless they are gay or one is gay then I guess there will never be that attraction, but I seriously do believe that if they are both straight or both gay then OVER TIME they will catch feelings, its natural, its human. How many friendships have lasted between boys and girls where one has gt a partner and not once have they crossed the boundary? I would guess not many, if any at all.
I disagree. Just because you're attracted to a certain gender doesn't mean you'll inevitably want to be with every person you know of that gender. I've been friends with many guys for years and never once thought of them in a romantic way.
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byeongkwans
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(Original post by TSRFT8)
This is interesting. I watched a few "experiments" per say (yes, wild Friday night, I know!) and the girls were usually under the impression the guys were just wanting friendships, but when the same question was posed to the boys, they all said how they would date, or would have sex, IF the girl offered. Meaning, yes, they are friends but the attraction is always there.

I dont like to say ALL friendships are like this, but I would be stupid to presume that every friendship between a boy and girl is platonic.

I had a girl bestfriend we were friends for like 5 years+ and she was always joking about how she will find me the perfect girl etc etc and then when I got a girlfriend she cried and got upset, of course, I probably would have felt the same. We were always scared to break the friendship boundaries UNTIL the other one did.
It’s strange how that happens but it’s quite common I guess. That’s true, sometimes attraction or past attraction can complicate things. Ah that’s sad, but she should’ve been a bit clearer about how she felt.

My experience is a bit complicated I guess. I developed a crush on my guy best friend when we were like 15 and he rejected me, but I moved on and we still stayed good friends. I got over any romantic feelings and stopped seeing him like that all together but like years later he was treating me very differently and dropped a lot of hints. I was pretty oblivious to them because I always assumed he’d never see me like that? Our friendship was pretty unhealthy looking back on it though. He got VERY jealous and manipulative when I ended up getting into a relationship. He did a lot to guilt trip me and overstepped a lot of boundaries which sucks because I really valued his friendship.

However I had another close male friend who was the opposite, he was a really really good, genuine friend. There was underlying attraction and some mixed signals there but I wouldn’t want to date him tbh. Some stuff happened and I kinda made it clear that I wouldn’t be interested in him romantically and now it’s awkward between us too.

Life would be so much easier if you could just maintain friendships without developing deeper feelings for each other at some point.
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Notoriety
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Yes, but there is a tendency for available people of the opposite sex to develop tumescence over the other.
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shellop
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of course...


...plenty of gay guys and women are friends
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