He doesnt tip the waiter, thoughts? Watch

Emma:-)
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#61
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#61
(Original post by AperfectBalance)
I mean most people would consider 'good' service to be fast, with a smile and attentive, but in all honesty that is what all service should be.
Exactly
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ltsmith
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#62
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this isnt murica
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Acsel
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#63
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
And that's a very valid point.
Is it valid though? The exact wording of the OP is that he "brushed it off/didn't really listen or care". We can't really draw any conclusions about what that means, about what he actually did. We're only hearing one side of this story and it's pretty sparse in detail.

Besides that, having vast experience in something does not mean you are entitled to people listening to you. I have a huge amount of experience with computers. That doesn't mean I'm allowed to lecture people on every minor thing I disagree with and expect them to just go along with it "because I know better". The OP may have a lot of experience in the industry but attitudes to tipping and financial matters in general are a personal thing, so having experience is somewhat irrelevant. OP doesn't have the right to pressure someone into making an unnecessary financial contribution simply because she worked in hospitality for a decade. That's ignoring how she wasn't the one paying (so shouldn't be telling the one who is paying what to do) and may not have even seen the bill (if it had a service charge, etc.). But that again is information we don't have and involves jumping to conclusions.
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Jenx301
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#64
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I tip if I get great service - otherwise not. I work a minimum wage job in retail and do not get tips, therefor if I want to go out with friends or family I can't afford to tip every time. If you feel so strongly you should have tipped yourself. Employers should be paying a minimum wage in the UK and therefor nobody is entitled to extra (in my opinion). This is not America.
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bfm.mcdermott
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#65
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Since he paid for both your meals, why don't you tip the waiter, since you feel so passionately about it?
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Acsel
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#66
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#66
(Original post by Jenx301)
If you feel so strongly you should have tipped yourself.
(Original post by bfm.mcdermott)
why don't you tip the waiter
Not tagging everyone making this mistake but:

(Original post by Anonymous)
In the end I left the tip because I felt so embarrassed.
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Jenx301
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#67
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(Original post by Acsel)
Not tagging everyone making this mistake but:
what mistake? Why should I tip for service that isn't good when in the UK employers have to pay minimum wage. Why should waiters get tipped and I dont? I work for minimum wage
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bfm.mcdermott
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#68
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(Original post by Jenx301)
what mistake? Why should I tip for service that isn't good when in the UK employers have to pay minimum wage. Why should waiters get tipped and I dont? I work for minimum wage
The mistake was that we replied that if the OP feels so strongly about it and her boyfriend didn't want to tip, why didn't she. The correction was that the OP said in the post that she did tip in the end.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
I always tip taxi drivers. Every single time. And when I go out with work, I always leave a tip.
I think taxis are very expensive. I would tip if they were very nice or if they went above and beyond. If they tried to take me the long route or if they were sullen or rude, then I definitely wouldn’t.
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Acsel
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#70
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(Original post by Jenx301)
what mistake? Why should I tip for service that isn't good when in the UK employers have to pay minimum wage. Why should waiters get tipped and I dont? I work for minimum wage
This is a prime example of replying without reading the post first.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Acsel)
Not tagging everyone making this mistake but:
I think it’s irrelevant. She expected him to tip and made him feel bad when he didn’t. It wasn’t planned that she would pay the tip.
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Acsel
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#72
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think it’s irrelevant. She expected him to tip and made him feel bad when he didn’t. It wasn’t planned that she would pay the tip.
I'm not claiming it's relevant. An awful lot of people are piping up saying "if it bothers you so much you should have tipped yourself" when the OP did in fact say she tipped in her post. IDK if people aren't reading, or it's easy to miss. I'm simply pointing out this mistake to the posts I saw since it's come up far too often.

You'll note in my other replies that I'm not at all siding with this behaviour. I mention that we don't have all the information but it should be fairly clear from my earlier post on this page that I don't agree with what she did, or the notion of tipping being necessary. But this once again feels like someone trying to smash out a reply without reading. Nothing about the reply you quoted had any scope for relevant or irrelevant, agreeing or disagreeing with what she did, etc. I'm literally just pointing out a factual error, there was no indication I was taking sides.
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Jenx301
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#73
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(Original post by bfm.mcdermott)
The mistake was that we replied that if the OP feels so strongly about it and her boyfriend didn't want to tip, why didn't she. The correction was that the OP said in the post that she did tip in the end.
(Original post by Acsel)
This is a prime example of replying without reading the post first.
Yawn. I was just stating why the BF may not have tipped. I have been at work all day and am tired, I may have misread but it isn't a huge deal
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Acsel
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#74
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(Original post by Jenx301)
Yawn. I was just stating why the BF may not have tipped. I have been at work all day and am tired, I may have misread but it isn't a huge deal
Once again, not claiming it's a big deal. I literally just pointed out the mistake I happened to see in these posts that has been prevalent throughout the thread. This doesn't require a long chain of conversation
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The RAR
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#75
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Like many people here said already, tipping is not compulsory. I admit it seems quite selfish if you are not going to tip anything at all but regardless your boyfriend did nothing wrong, I would have had the same reaction as him if I were in a restaurant, I pay for my meal which is already quite expensive imo so why should I give more money? I am not their employer or some kind of charity, I am an average customer
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Chief Wiggum
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#76
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(Original post by AzureCeleste)
I find it weird that he point blank refused to.
Fair enough if he doesn't want to leave a tip, but if someone pressured me I'd leave a couple of pounds or something
Surely OP could have left the tip if it was such a big issue to her? Considering she literally had her entire dinner paid for...

EDIT: I read above, and apparently she did. Fair enough, but I don't think her boyfriend did anything wrong.
Last edited by Chief Wiggum; 1 week ago
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Chief Wiggum
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#77
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(Original post by JTfoxlove)
Yeah I hate that. We won't go out with folk that don't tip.

In the UK everyone in an applicable service industry starts at 5% with me - good service will raise it to 10% (which should be guaranteed), poor service will drop it. I've only ever once left no tip.

There's a bigger issue here though. You raised the issue as something that was important to you and he ignored you.
So? Why should he be obliged to accept her point of view? You could equally argue that the OP ignored her boyfriend... (Despite the fact he'd just paid for her dinner out of his own pocket.)
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AngryRedhead
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#78
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#78
Assuming this is not in the USA, you're speaking of, waiters and waitresses over here usually receive a minimum wage so tipping isn't necessary for income unlike in the USA. So I don't think he's done anything wrong in my opinion
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I have been dating this guy for a few months now. We've never really eaten out during this time (we cook a lot). Basically he treated me to dinner last night and refused to leave a tip. I have worked in waitressing/hospitality for 10 years so this is a biggy for me, I always tip well. I asked him why and he said "well people don't tip me for my job" (he owns his own tyre company). I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he just didn't understand the industry so tried to explain it to him and he brushed it off/didn't really listen or care. In the end I left the tip because I felt so embarrassed.

I know this sounds trivial but this feels like a deal breaker to me. I felt so unattracted To him after this, and felt undervalued when he brushed off my opinion. When I confronted him he said I made him feel uncomfortable and asked to leave.

Any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!
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confusedgal0
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#79
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Tipping is plainly good manners. I think it says a lot about someone when they don't tip - it doesn't have to be 10 pounds - even a pound will do. It's not about the money it's about the principle of treating people nicely. Anyone who has worked as a waiter/waitress or in a kitchen has been there. It doesn't matter if he paid for dinner for both of you - that's a customary thing to do in any relationship (one person treating another.) Other people on this post really are acting like he gave you a gold bar and then didn't tip!
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rockrunride
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#80
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Load of nuance lost in written text eh.

Doubt OP is ungrateful to her lad taking her out for dinner.

I always tip, but there are people that don't. Just like tonight when I was in the pub, someone shouted at the barman - something I'd never do, but people do it. If tipping is a deal breaker, discuss it out and let us know how it goes.
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