bf angry that I wanted to raise our child as gender neutral Watch

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Mel W
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I have a young baby with my bf and I want to raise it as gender neutral but he got pissy with me about it and said it should be raised as one or the other he is barely talking to me after we had a big row about it yesterday, advice?
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Netball lass
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sucks to be you sister
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CoolCavy
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Only a very small percentage of people are trans, most people align with their birth sex so you are just going to confuse your child for no reason by making them decide. They will likely be bullied in school, get confused and stressed.
You can raise your child without gender stereotypes without denying them a sex, you dont have to buy blue for boys and pink for girls, make them do football or ballet just let them do what they are interested in.
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I'mComingOxford
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jesus, you are one stupid individual
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Mel W)
I have a young baby with my bf and I want to raise it as gender neutral but he got pissy with me about it and said it should be raised as one or the other he is barely talking to me after we had a big row about it yesterday, advice?
This sounds quite like quite a serious situation. You would have ideally discussed this before having a child. You need to sit down with him and have a serious chat. Tell him why you want to raise your child this way and ask him why he disagrees. Perhaps there's a middle ground (eg. You might agree to not push your child towards traditional gendered clothes, hobbies etc but not necessarily use gender neutral pronouns
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Ray_Shadows
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sure he did
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ZombieTheWolf
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Lmao.

Should of spoken about it before you had the kid, this is some bad parenting. I'm completely on your boyfriends side and I feel bad for your child.
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Last edited by ZombieTheWolf; 1 week ago
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mpaprika
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Just let your child enjoy what they want, if they want to play with barbies let them, if hot wheels take their interest buy some for them.
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Obolinda
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What does raising your child "gender neutral" entail?
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AperfectBalance
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If I were him I would be mad, you both have a duty to give your child the best care you can and you are already trying to ruin the child.
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otkmfren
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I would be too.

Like CoolCavy said, LGBT is a very small percentage of people. It’s like teaching people you have 5 OR 6 fingers in nursery. Everyone knows, 99% have 5.
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londonmyst
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(Original post by AnxiousAtypical)
That’s going cause danger and mental trauma to your child if you’re bringing your child up as ‘gender neutral’.

There’s only 2 genders, male & female. Everything else is just mental disorders.
OP is likely a :troll:

My parents planned to provide me with a gender neutral upbringing and have me decide upon my own gender.
They were the ones who ended up with the mental trauma when their friends refused to play along and so did I.
As soon as they told friends, their friends responded by buying me party dresses and pink toys.
In many childhood photos, I'm wearing pink or holding a pink bear as my parents grimace.
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AnxiousAtypical
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(Original post by londonmyst)
OP is likely a :troll:

My parents planned to provide me with a gender neutral upbringing and have me decide upon my own gender.
They were the ones who ended up with the mental trauma when their friends refused to play along and so did I.
As soon as they told friends, their friends responded by buying me party dresses and pink toys.
In many childhood photos, I'm wearing pink or holding a pink bear as my parents grimace.
You choosing to identify as an opposite sex that you were revealed at birth or any do this non-binary rubbish is no different if I wanted to identify as dragon.

You can’t rewrite biology and the facts there is no such thing as ‘gender neutral’ whether you like it or not and I should not be compelled to participate in that fantasy.
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londonmyst
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(Original post by AnxiousAtypical)
You choosing to identify as an opposite sex that you were revealed at birth or any do this non-binary rubbish is no different if I wanted to identify as dragon.

You can’t rewrite biology and the facts there is no such thing as ‘gender neutral’ whether you like it or not and I should not be compelled to participate in that fantasy.
Read my post.
I was born a biological female, am happy with this fact and have always identified as a female- much to my parents dislike.
No idea where you have got the ideas about non-binary from.
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snugglebear
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Is there such a thing as an old baby?
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Hmmmmmmm?
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Why would your parents dislike this? You’re you and you’re okay with being you. There really doesn’t seem to be any reason to be upset with that so long as you are happy. I mean honestly, I’d rather be worried about making sure my kid is happy and healthy over anything else.
(Original post by londonmyst)
Read my post.
I was born a biological female, am happy with this fact and have always identified as a female- much to my parents dislike.
No idea where you have got the ideas about non-binary from.
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Hmmmmmmm?
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As far as I know, no. But the concept is intriguing
(Original post by snugglebear)
Is there such a thing as an old baby?
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Zasty
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Raise the kid out of gender stereotypes, but don't confuse their brains with concepts that dont even matter
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fallen_acorns
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all the other posters have pretty much nailed it.

there is a 99% chance your child will identify with their gender happily and healthy.. Play the odds.


That being said, you need to make the distinction between raising them 'gender neutral' and raising them without enforcing 'gender stereotypes'

Its the difference between:
"your my daughter, but you can do what ever you want.. you don't have to be "girly" if you don't want to"

and

"your my child.. your not my son or daughter until you decide if your a boy or a girl.. and how you want to act"

--

The first one is still gendered, but its a very healthy parental attitude, that gives your child freedom to find out how they like to live, and how they like to express themselves.

The second one is completely gender-neutral, and is one hell of a mind-**** for a small child to understand... and will likely cause them real confusion and mental problems.

The second one is great for the tiny tiny percentage of trans kids out there.. but for the 99% of non-trans kids, the first is much healthy, much more time-tested, and successful. Its not gender neutral, if I was branding it, it would be more "gender-relaxed" you go in presuming a gender, and acting as a gender.. but with the freedom that your kid can do what they like.
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by Mel W)
I have a young baby with my bf and I want to raise it as gender neutral but he got pissy with me about it and said it should be raised as one or the other he is barely talking to me after we had a big row about it yesterday, advice?
What is it with you youngsters today - don't be so silly. You are lucky you live in a decent country not ravaged by war and we all have food in our bellies. This nonsense about gender neutral is just pandering to a need y minority
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