I'm a boring person help please Watch

Anonymous #1
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I want to be more social and interesting but I'm a boring person who has nothing interesting to talk about. I can barely hold a conversation.

Plus I wish I could sound more natural when having a conversation but I just stutter or speak too fast or my voice changes to something weird. It's like I don't know how to sound/speak to sound more interesting.

I wish I could be like my friends who can easily start any conversation with anyone and become friends instantly. I know I've been called weird and annoying before and I'm so socially awkward and don't know what to do in situations.

I want to be a part of a group instead of just standing awkwardly on the sidelines having nothing interesting to add in. I purposely act annoying or weird because I'm a really boring person and that's the only way I could think of to gain any attention.

What should I do please? On YouTube most videos just say talk about the weather or be a good listener (but then it'll be a one sided conversation eventhough I know what they mean).
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SyedHB
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welcome to the square club
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confusedgal0
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simple! you sound quite young - you've probably just not had a lot of life experience to talk about. The human experience really is getting involved in hobbies with/without people. Get into sports or painting or sewing or baking - find out what you like and do it for yourself, and then you'll meet other people with similar interests or at least have something to talk about.
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hello_shawn
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I stopped caring about it, nowadays you can't have a convo that someone will predictably get worked up over and you can only talk about what you did over the weekend , which for me is what I always do. Nothing special.
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OM222O
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I'm a nerd and whenever I start talking about something people fall asleep half way through because it's not interesting to them by any means of imagination! wanna add insult to injury? I have a monotone voice too!

but then I go back to my good ole friends and we spend hours talking about random crap like how planes work or latest computer tech without anyone getting bored. On the other hand, social talks like how you spent your time at the party or who got drunk and did what bore me to death ... you just gotta find like minded people, which admittedly, is easier said than done.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by confusedgal0)
simple! you sound quite young - you've probably just not had a lot of life experience to talk about. The human experience really is getting involved in hobbies with/without people. Get into sports or painting or sewing or baking - find out what you like and do it for yourself, and then you'll meet other people with similar interests or at least have something to talk about.
Thank you for your response.
For some of the hobbies I do there's really nothing to talk about other than " Last week I made/did this..." and that's it.
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Azalea3206
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Hey Anon, my suggestion to you would be for you to flip your thinking. If you constantly think of yourself as boring then that’s what you will project to other people.

Start by making a list of ALL your interests- no matter how uninteresting you think they might be. Include your achievements, your plans for the future, your dreams. These are the pieces that make up the picture of you. You’ll soon discover that you are an interesting person for yourself.

From experience I was painfully shy growing up so to help me when I started working, I used to throw myself in at the deep end and push myself to have conversations with people about anything. I find that asking people where they’ve come from studied/worked previously is a good conversation starter. What you’re currently watching on Netflix is also a good one!

Try practising as you are talking to people online and there’s no shame in practising out loud to yourself.

It might also be worthwhile looking into confidence building and self esteem courses that you can go on to help give you an injection of confidence, so you feel able to push yourself.

Think positively and good luck
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Dunnig Kruger
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The last thing that you said in the opening post - the bit in brackets - is highly important.

It's absolutely fine if the conversation is not shared 50 50 in terms of who is doing the talking.

It's possible to be a quiet extrovert. And by extrovert I mean someone whose focus is more on the people around him or her than it is on themselves.

Asking questions, listening to the answers and then responding appropriately to the answers is all extroverted behaviour. It's also good basic conversation technique. In such a situation the talking may be shared 70 30 or 80 20 or 90 10 and the other person should still be left with the impression that you are a great conversationalist.

When asking some questions, especially when it's of a personal nature or may require an embarassing answer, it helps if you volunteer some information first. Maybe some intimate and mildly funny anecdote. For example how recently you were doing a particular sexual act and noticed some gross detail, but still carried on anyway. Or another example, about the last time you shoplifted, whether you got caught or not. How it made you feel.

Treat your friends as role models for you to copy in terms of how they initiate conversations. Find one that's particularly good at listening and responding in appropriate ways and treat that person as a particular role model.

As you get older, you will have done more things and therefore have a greater repertoire of anecdotes you can call on.
With anecdotes the tiny details of everyday life can be interesting things to talk about. For example the design of your toothpaste tube and how easy it is to get the right amount on your brush. Or which way round your housemates insist putting the toilet roll on the toilet roll holder.
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skrrrrrr
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I want to be more social and interesting but I'm a boring person who has nothing interesting to talk about. I can barely hold a conversation.

Plus I wish I could sound more natural when having a conversation but I just stutter or speak too fast or my voice changes to something weird. It's like I don't know how to sound/speak to sound more interesting.

I wish I could be like my friends who can easily start any conversation with anyone and become friends instantly. I know I've been called weird and annoying before and I'm so socially awkward and don't know what to do in situations.

I want to be a part of a group instead of just standing awkwardly on the sidelines having nothing interesting to add in. I purposely act annoying or weird because I'm a really boring person and that's the only way I could think of to gain any attention.

What should I do please? On YouTube most videos just say talk about the weather or be a good listener (but then it'll be a one sided conversation eventhough I know what they mean).
No ones really boring. Everyone is unique. I watched a ted talk about how no ones really boring. Idk where it is though but it went something like this:

Boring is subjective. Someone out there may find you really interesting.

You already have had life experiences which make you stand out. You dont need hobbies to be interesting. Your life is a conglomeration of marvellous happenings, mistakes and joys.
You are only as boring as the next person.

There's so much advice on making new friends and deep listening and eye contact and nodding three times whilst they speak and not crossing your arms and smiling and imitating laughter and repeating what they said and all that ****.

The best way is truly to be yourself. You'll have to find out what that means yourself though.
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Oxford Mum
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This is a great post. If you're a good listener, you can hear about so much interesting stuff, which you may in turn be able to share with other people. If you focus on others, they love it because everyone likes talking about themselves.

Why not try this out on TSR? We're always talking b******cks to each other, and loving it! You will deffo find a welcome here. And if not, you can always go to another thread anyway. Andrew97 has a thread where everyone tells jokes for example, Razzzberries has a thread asking what juice we prefer. It's dead easy to make a choice and you might come up with a new juice that people say "you know what, I didn't think of that?" I'd steer clear of the Brexit ones though. Unless you know your facts inside out, they are majorly scary
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
The last thing that you said in the opening post - the bit in brackets - is highly important.

It's absolutely fine if the conversation is not shared 50 50 in terms of who is doing the talking.

It's possible to be a quiet extrovert. And by extrovert I mean someone whose focus is more on the people around him or her than it is on themselves.

Asking questions, listening to the answers and then responding appropriately to the answers is all extroverted behaviour. It's also good basic conversation technique. In such a situation the talking may be shared 70 30 or 80 20 or 90 10 and the other person should still be left with the impression that you are a great conversationalist.

When asking some questions, especially when it's of a personal nature or may require an embarassing answer, it helps if you volunteer some information first. Maybe some intimate and mildly funny anecdote. For example how recently you were doing a particular sexual act and noticed some gross detail, but still carried on anyway. Or another example, about the last time you shoplifted, whether you got caught or not. How it made you feel.

Treat your friends as role models for you to copy in terms of how they initiate conversations. Find one that's particularly good at listening and responding in appropriate ways and treat that person as a particular role model.

As you get older, you will have done more things and therefore have a greater repertoire of anecdotes you can call on.
With anecdotes the tiny details of everyday life can be interesting things to talk about. For example the design of your toothpaste tube and how easy it is to get the right amount on your brush. Or which way round your housemates insist putting the toilet roll on the toilet roll holder.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Azalea3206)
Hey Anon, my suggestion to you would be for you to flip your thinking. If you constantly think of yourself as boring then that’s what you will project to other people.

Start by making a list of ALL your interests- no matter how uninteresting you think they might be. Include your achievements, your plans for the future, your dreams. These are the pieces that make up the picture of you. You’ll soon discover that you are an interesting person for yourself.

From experience I was painfully shy growing up so to help me when I started working, I used to throw myself in at the deep end and push myself to have conversations with people about anything. I find that asking people where they’ve come from studied/worked previously is a good conversation starter. What you’re currently watching on Netflix is also a good one!

Try practising as you are talking to people online and there’s no shame in practising out loud to yourself.

It might also be worthwhile looking into confidence building and self esteem courses that you can go on to help give you an injection of confidence, so you feel able to push yourself.

Think positively and good luck
Thank you so much for your advice! I never thought about writing a list of all my interests so I can't wait to try that (^_^ )
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realistorange
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well im a realist so yeah:cool:
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Ehaswell12
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This might just be something that comes with getting a bit older, I'm not sure how old you are but I have lots of friends who lower down in secondary were very shy and now, in year 13, are really confident and have lots of good friends
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
The last thing that you said in the opening post - the bit in brackets - is highly important.

It's absolutely fine if the conversation is not shared 50 50 in terms of who is doing the talking.

It's possible to be a quiet extrovert. And by extrovert I mean someone whose focus is more on the people around him or her than it is on themselves.

Asking questions, listening to the answers and then responding appropriately to the answers is all extroverted behaviour. It's also good basic conversation technique. In such a situation the talking may be shared 70 30 or 80 20 or 90 10 and the other person should still be left with the impression that you are a great conversationalist.

When asking some questions, especially when it's of a personal nature or may require an embarassing answer, it helps if you volunteer some information first. Maybe some intimate and mildly funny anecdote. For example how recently you were doing a particular sexual act and noticed some gross detail, but still carried on anyway. Or another example, about the last time you shoplifted, whether you got caught or not. How it made you feel.

Treat your friends as role models for you to copy in terms of how they initiate conversations. Find one that's particularly good at listening and responding in appropriate ways and treat that person as a particular role model.

As you get older, you will have done more things and therefore have a greater repertoire of anecdotes you can call on.
With anecdotes the tiny details of everyday life can be interesting things to talk about. For example the design of your toothpaste tube and how easy it is to get the right amount on your brush. Or which way round your housemates insist putting the toilet roll on the toilet roll holder.
Thank you!! What should I do if the person doesn't make an attempt to have a conversation? For example if I share an experience with them and they reply with "Okay. That's nice." Or if I ask them a question then just say a one worded response.

Should I give up with making conversation with them?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by skrrrrrr)
No ones really boring. Everyone is unique. I watched a ted talk about how no ones really boring. Idk where it is though but it went something like this:

Boring is subjective. Someone out there may find you really interesting.

You already have had life experiences which make you stand out. You dont need hobbies to be interesting. Your life is a conglomeration of marvellous happenings, mistakes and joys.
You are only as boring as the next person.

There's so much advice on making new friends and deep listening and eye contact and nodding three times whilst they speak and not crossing your arms and smiling and imitating laughter and repeating what they said and all that ****.

The best way is truly to be yourself. You'll have to find out what that means yourself though.
Thank you for this (^_^ ) I'll have to find some way to find out what my true self is I guess.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
This is a great post. If you're a good listener, you can hear about so much interesting stuff, which you may in turn be able to share with other people. If you focus on others, they love it because everyone likes talking about themselves.

Why not try this out on TSR? We're always talking b******cks to each other, and loving it! You will deffo find a welcome here. And if not, you can always go to another thread anyway. Andrew97 has a thread where everyone tells jokes for example, Razzzberries has a thread asking what juice we prefer. It's dead easy to make a choice and you might come up with a new juice that people say "you know what, I didn't think of that?" I'd steer clear of the Brexit ones though. Unless you know your facts inside out, they are majorly scary
Thank you for your recommendations! I will surely check them out (>~< )
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realistorange
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drink orange juice it helps make people less boring
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for this (^_^ ) I'll have to find some way to find out what my true self is I guess.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by realistorange)
drink orange juice it helps make people less boring
Lol
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CommanderKeen
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All young people are boring and have nothing to say, because ...they are young... Try to read more, listen to debates on YouTube, watch some documentaries.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I want to be more social and interesting but I'm a boring person who has nothing interesting to talk about. I can barely hold a conversation.

Plus I wish I could sound more natural when having a conversation but I just stutter or speak too fast or my voice changes to something weird. It's like I don't know how to sound/speak to sound more interesting.

I wish I could be like my friends who can easily start any conversation with anyone and become friends instantly. I know I've been called weird and annoying before and I'm so socially awkward and don't know what to do in situations.

I want to be a part of a group instead of just standing awkwardly on the sidelines having nothing interesting to add in. I purposely act annoying or weird because I'm a really boring person and that's the only way I could think of to gain any attention.

What should I do please? On YouTube most videos just say talk about the weather or be a good listener (but then it'll be a one sided conversation eventhough I know what they mean).
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Oxford Mum
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See you elsewhere on tsr then
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