So you think you know what 'cheating' means?

10

People always ask if something they did crossed the line when it comes to what counts as cheating and what doesn't count as cheating against your partner.

But in the end it all depends on what 'cheating' actually means, and I challenge you all to define it in one sentence!

Define what is meant by 'cheating' against your partner.

Cheating (revised definition after lengthy debate):

Communicating with another person with a view to participate in sexual activity with that person or unduly participating in sexual activity with another person, without your partner's consent.

I think this fits all scenarios. So it's not 'cheating' if you take part in a sexual scene in a theatre show even if it against your partner's wishes (because it is not unduly). It is not 'cheating' to shag a horse or a teddy bear (because they do not count as persons). It is not 'cheating' if you have sex with another and your partner is happy to watch (because you have your partner's consent). It is not 'cheating' if you are just hugging another person (because hugging may not necessarily be sexual), unless you have the necessary intention to cheat on your partner (because hugging that other person is then a form of communicating your desire).

Hey, I think I'm good at this!

If it doesn't fit your personal experience or you just think my definition is crap anyway, please explain how.

:tsr2:

Reply 1

SouthernFreerider

12

Cheating is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition

Reply 2

Crumbles

cheating, to me, is doing something that you wouldnt tell your partner about.

so if your ever in a situation and your wondering if your cheating or not, just ask yourself if you would tell them about it...and if you hesitate, or would prefer not to...then your probably cheating.

even if its as small as a hug, or a text...

thats my view anyway.

Reply 3

kookoo_koochoo

1

Crumbles

cheating, to me, is doing something that you wouldnt tell your partner about.

so if your ever in a situation and your wondering if your cheating or not, just ask yourself if you would tell them about it...and if you hesitate, or would prefer not to...then your probably cheating.

even if its as small as a hug, or a text...

thats my view anyway.

Yeah I agree with this, I also think it doens't just have to be physical, it can be emotional which is really the worst kind of cheating.

Reply 4

Titch89

14

Crumbles

even if its as small as a hug, or a text...

Even if it's innocent? I've had friends of mine hug (and kiss) me, doesn't mean they're cheating though.

Reply 5

Crumbles

Titch89

Even if it's innocent? I've had friends of mine hug (and kiss) me, doesn't mean they're cheating though.

no, because if its innocent then you wouldnt have a problem telling them about it would you?

i hug and text people all the time and its not cheating becuase i wouldnt have a problem my bf seeing it...but there was a point when i was texting someone and started hiding it from him...then i realised it had gone too far so i stopped contact with them..

Reply 6

Anony mouse

OP

10

Crumbles

if your ever in a situation and your wondering if your cheating or not, just ask yourself if you would tell them about it...and if you hesitate, or would prefer not to...then your probably cheating.

even if its as small as a hug, or a text...

Hey, I can see how that works!

I'm trying to find a problem with it, but it's too good.

Edit: Problem found. See Tomoli's post on page 2.

Double Edit: Nah, I just worked out that Crumbles' point still stands.

Reply 7

Crumbles

Anony mouse

Hey, I can see how that works!

I'm trying to find a problem with it, but it's too good.

haha
i like to think so
:cool:

...jokes jokes

Reply 8

Anony mouse

OP

10

Crumbles

no, because if its innocent then you wouldnt have a problem telling them about it would you?

i hug and text people all the time and its not cheating becuase i wouldnt have a problem my bf seeing it...but there was a point when i was texting someone and started hiding it from him...then i realised it had gone too far so i stopped contact with them..

Good reasoning.

If it were truly innocent, then the person wouldn't wonder whether he was cheating or not.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

cheating for me, would be the other partner not telling you that he/she is seeing someone, or doesnt love you etc.... hiding secrets, is another form of cheating...

the other type of cheating is when you play tricks during a game or something similiar.

Reply 10

Anony mouse

OP

10

Anonymous

cheating for me, would be the other partner not telling you that he/she is seeing someone...

But you could have a kiss with someone randomly without 'seeing' that actual person. I would still regard this as cheating.

Reply 11

death.drop

16

Crumbles

no, because if its innocent then you wouldnt have a problem telling them about it would you?

maybe, it depends how your partner would interpret it.

last time i went to a beach party without him i slept hugging 2 other guys to keep warm. it was perfectly innocent but at the time he was going through a paranoid phase and probably would have flipped out if i'd told him. so i just didn't mention it.

other than that, i basically agree with what you've said.

cheating is so hard to define! there's so many ifs and buts.

Reply 12

Citygirl

It's the meaning behind whatever you do, say or think that counts the most.. that what affects a relationship at least as much as what you actually do.

Reply 13

xmiccix

'cheating is bad.'

There you go. one sentance lol

Reply 14

Anony mouse

OP

10

death.drop

maybe, it depends how your partner would interpret it.

last time i went to a beach party without him i slept hugging 2 other guys to keep warm. it was perfectly innocent but at the time he was going through a paranoid phase and probably would have flipped out if i'd told him. so i just didn't mention it.

other than that, i basically agree with what you've said.

cheating is so hard to define! there's so many ifs and buts.

It sure is!

But in reference to that point about hugging those two guys, even if your boyfriend would react negatively towards it, this is more of a case of him being paranoid rather you cheating as such.

You weren't cheating (as long as it was really 'innocent').