is someone able to mark my power and conflict essay using the AQA mark scheme?

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In kamikaze and Poppies, both poets present the inner conflict that torments them emotionally. Whilst in Kamikaze, the inner conflict is a result of National expectations and inner conscience which leads to betraying the National expectations. Similarly, in Poppies her inner conflict is a result of National conflict that causes her son to go to war.
The writer's of both 'Kamikaze' and 'Poppies' use emotional struggle to portray their individual inner conflicts. In 'Kamikaze', emotional struggle is shown through the rejection of his family due to subverting traditional ideologies to honour their country (duty), and it could be argued that nature is the cause of the betrayal. Garland writes "a tuna, the dark prince, muscular, dangerous" while changing narrator's "and though he came back my mother never spoke again". The physical imagery of the fish creates a threatning image which signals importance. This could perhaps highlight that the true power belongs to nature and not to the National expectations. It could be argued that nature leads to his emotional struggle due to his realisation that nature is more significant and powerful than his duty and therefore making the decision of going back home. On the other hand, it could be argued that he made this decision to avoid the idea of origin and roots, and be natural. Garland continues with the rejection of the "mother" that "never spoke again" which highlights the shame that betraying national expections has put on the family. It can be assumed that Japanese families valued more the pilot's duty rather than their presence in the family which evokes the idea that being honourable was more important than family. In the end, he "must've wondered which had been the better way to die". Here, he finds himself metaphorically dead and he wonders whether a literal death might've been better than the emotional death and struggle he experienced since his return. Whereas Garland uses emotional struggle to show importance of duty, Weir uses emotional struggle to represent the often ignored mother's that are absorbed by the conflict of war. The mother's emotional struggle is presented through her thoughts throughout the poem. Weir writes "all my words flattered, turned into felt, slowly melting. I was brave". The enjambment between these lines portray a breaking structure which may reflect how the mother is breaking emotionally; it may also be argued that their lives lack organisation as they hope those at war make it out alive. However, "the dove" is a symbol of hope and prosperity which may indicate the ability of overcoming the absense of her son.
Both writers present inner conflict through the idea of loss. In 'Kamikaze', loss is portrayed through his loss of place in society, when he came back from his 'duty', he was seen as an outcast not only from a society perspective but also from family; his return was seen as dishonourable. The fact that he lost a place in society due to his return undermines the enormity of the event. Garland writes "my mother never spoke again in his presence" followed by the fact that "they treated him as though he no longer existed". Garland uses the change in pronoun "my" to outline the regret that his daughter feels for not appreciating his return. The idea that "he no longer exited" for the family, determines the ideology of duty and having to complete this journey of honour is of great value to Japanese families, however the fact that he broke the honourable act goes against what his family believed and therefore leading to his inner conflict as the loss of place in society as well as in his family's heart was unescapable and that was the fate he had to live with after his return. Whereas Garland uses loss to demonstrate the importance of family, Weir uses loss to represent the loss of a loved one as a result of conflict. The reader can assume that conflict is not just experienced by those in war but also those at home who are absorbed by terror. This enhances the idea that war causes the end conflict within us. Weir writes "i was brave, as i walked with you, to the front door." Here, the physical and emotional imagery hints that she had to let go of her son which causes readers to emphasise as this poem is a direct message to the often ignored mothers. It could also be argued that the "front door" is a smbol of her own acceptance of her son's choice.
Both poets show inner conflict through the lack of control that the characters hold. In 'Kamikaze', the pilot has no control over what his family and society think of him. Garland writes "only we children still chattered and laughed till gradually we too learned to be silent". The verb "learned" implies the behaviour isn't natural and was forced upon her however she now realises this and regrets her actions. It also demonstrates how his family wanted to have an honourable pilot representing them rather than a coward who rejected his own duties. Towards the end of the poem, the words "better way to die" imply a tragic ending to his story therefore impacting other soldiers. Even though he wanted to be natural and not follow National expections, it cost him his family. Whilst Garland uses the lack of control to suggest that most families valued the "duty" rather than the physical presentation in the family, Weir demonstrates a lack in control in her son's life. Weir writes "sellotape bandaged around my hand". The physical imagery foreshadows her son's wounds that she won't be able to cure. The lack of organised stanzas which reflects the chaotic impact of conflict of those at home; their lives lack organisation as they are absorbed by the terror that they can't control.
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