What age is ideal to get married?

Anonymous #1

Type age, gender, ethnicity

28
male
white

I didn't realise people still got married these days. Sounds awfully old fashioned.

If you were so inclined though, I guess biology might be the decider. Without IVF you need to start trying for children at 27 to have a 90% chance of having two!

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Do you genuinely believe the concept of marriage is outdated? I get the principle behind how it is outdated but i think I have been raised to always imagine getting married one day, cultural romanticism but i would wait for the 'right' person

Original post by nexttime

Reply 5

Laurence010401

I wanna stay single indefinitely lol

28, female, chinese

Original post by Anonymous

Type age, gender, ethnicity

There isnt one! Just be aware how massive a commitment it is!

Reply 8

nexttime

Original post by Anonymous

Do you genuinely believe the concept of marriage is outdated?

I mean... yes. If you're in a loving and committed relationship and have been for a while... what does marriage add exactly? An excuse for a party pretty much, but with the pressure to spend vast quantities of money on it, it just doesn't seem to be worth it for most young people. If all you want is a party, you could hold at least 50 great parties for the average cost of a wedding (£32k)!

It feels to me that the only time marriage means something as a commitment step, is when people do it early on before the relationship is truly stable. Generally women who are worried about the Clock, or religious people who have to get married very early to not 'live in sin'.

Marriage rates are indeed at an all time low https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/marriages-men-women-lowest-record-heterosexual-lgbt-ons-a8232751.html

Reply 9

fallen_acorns

male - white british - got married aged 23

Personally I don't think that's optimal for a guy, I jumped the gun a bit, but I got lucky, found a girl and just went for it.

I would guess that the actual optimum times would be:
27-33 for a man
21-25 for a girl

Reasons:

For a guy you want to be old enough that you have established yourself in your career, built your reputation somewhat, have enough assets/resources to be able to support a family etc. But you don't want to be so old that your becoming an old-man by the time your kids are teenagers. late 20s early 30s is perfect for this.

For a girl your in a bit of a tougher situation. Biology isn't on your side, and as another poster mentioned, if you want to reliably be able to have multiple children, you have to get on with it pretty soon. They showed the article that said 90% chance for 2 kids if you start at 27.. well work back from that. You probably want a bit of time to be married and in love together before you have kids.. so go back a few years and your in your mid 20s. The other thing for a girl is that as unfair as it is, most girls peak in terms of beauty in their early 20s. Numerous studies have consistently showed this. They have also showed that looks play a big part in finding the best partner, and that for guys the wealth/position of a woman is far less important. All those things added together and a girl is probably likely to find the best guy she could find in her early to mid 20s.

This also fits the fact that on average girls marry men older then themselves. So your optimum would be something like a 24 year old girl marrying a 29 year old man. Both are pretty within their peak time of attractiveness for their genders, as well as possessing the qualities needed for a husband/wife.

Reply 10

fallen_acorns

Original post by nexttime

Your 100% correct with how you describe modern marriage in the time of no-fault divorce. These days it's completely pointless unless you are religious, and for most people its just an excuse for a celebration/party/to fit in.

The problem for marriage is that it wasn't made for a no-fault divorce society. It grew organically, through multiple cultures and societies, independent of one and other and independent of religion, because for thousands of years it was the most efficient way of living and organizing a society. Efficient societies prospered, and by and large efficient societies featured monogamous stable relationships. People aren't stable though, hence why the 'forced' part was required to make sure the majority of people stayed together.

Through most of our history it was incredibly beneficial for both men and women to be married, and to stay married for ever.

For a woman, she received:
physical protection from harm/threats
children to care for you when she grew older
resources to live off
someone to care for you when your sick

For a man he received:
regular safe source of sex
reasonable guarantee that your children are actually yours
someone to raise your children
children to care for you when your old
someone to care for you when your sick

For society - it received:
the most optimal way of raising the next generation, something all societies require to survive.
social cohesion/reduced risk of rebellion, as men are pacified by being the king of their own families.
health and elderly care for the majority of its citizens

etc. etc. - you could make all of those lists much longer. The point is that today.. half of those benefits are no longer needed even if you stay together for ever. And the other half are non-existent if divorce is an option. So you end up with no real tangible benefits at all.

Marriage these days is dating after a big party, with a bit of paper that you can cancel at any time with no fault needed to be proven from either side.

Personally I think we are yet to see how this new way of organizing society plays out.. its only existed for 2.5 generations, and only truly is reaching its final form currently, with no-fault divorces happening this year, and the substantial and continuing drop in marriage rates among young people.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 11

ProgrammerC

As soon as having a stable career I think it is time to get married. It might be early 20s, mid 20s doesn't matter to me. I think only problem might be females because I heard that in their early 20s, they aren't compeletely matured mentally that might be an issue. Correct me if I'm wrong.
male
white

I really like the idea of marriage on the contrary to the new generation. It is an agreement between two lovely couples. You're promosing that you'll stay loyal, lovely and cooparative against your partner eternally. That's exactly what I'm looking for. As an 19 years old person I hate parties, alcohols and one night stands just disgust me. I don't enjoy with those things because they seem to me exactly as fast food meals and that makes them tasteless, unhealthy and hasty..

Marriage also provides emotionally connection between partners. You'll have regular safe sex with your partner who is you're emotionally connected with, you can discuss whatever subjects you want with her and enjoy with other activities, there'll be a partner for you to run your house with you, you'll have problems, decisions to be made through your life you can ask to your partner and there'll be kid(s)!

I'm not a traditional person also I'm an atheist, but I'm absolutely sure that as long as there are males and females, marriage will never be outdated. Because both theoretically and practically it totally makes sense.