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Sabertooth
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#61
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#61
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Have you talked about this with a psychiatrist? If you're taking 7 pills at night alone (presume there are morning or afternoon doses too, from what you wrote?), there could be severe side effects to withdrawing without tapering off correctly...
Kinda....I saw him in March and told him I wanted to stop taking them. He told me that was a "very, very bad idea". But, I know this sounds cocky, I think I can do without them if I try. I'm just so damn sick of it and so frustrated that these pills are stopping me doing what I've always wanted to.

Btw, I'm glad your thing (don't know if I'm allowed to say here) went well! :five: I wouldn't be able to do that. Must have been so nerve-wracking.
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ScaryScience
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#62
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Sorry I’ve not been around in forever. Things are... well, ridiculous really. I’ve been in an acute ward for over 3 months now and am being sent to a personality disorder unit. I’m not sure where yet, or when. Feeling low and hopeless and just at the end of my tether.

How is everyone else?
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Sabertooth
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#63
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#63
(Original post by ScaryScience)
Sorry I’ve not been around in forever. Things are... well, ridiculous really. I’ve been in an acute ward for over 3 months now and am being sent to a personality disorder unit. I’m not sure where yet, or when. Feeling low and hopeless and just at the end of my tether.

How is everyone else?
:hugs: Hope the personality disorder unit helps you.
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Pathway
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#64
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#64
I'm so...frustrated.
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#65
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#65
Got my EEG tomorrow:woo:

(Original post by ScaryScience)
Sorry I’ve not been around in forever. Things are... well, ridiculous really. I’ve been in an acute ward for over 3 months now and am being sent to a personality disorder unit. I’m not sure where yet, or when. Feeling low and hopeless and just at the end of my tether.

How is everyone else?
Hope you get the help you deserve :hugs:

I’m not too bad thanks
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Pathway
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#66
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#66
Feel really just alone. I am trying to accept the advice of that psychiatrist like seriously, I am, maybe he is right, but it's so hard, lmao. I think I am basically toxic for everyone, Ts got 136d again because I called the police on her. E is being moved from Scotland back down here because the trust messed up with the funding and I hope she doesn't go to the same place A got meningitis because I don't think that will be good, lol...So will probably have no friends to see on Sunday, which is fine I guess, I doubt I'll be up for much anyway. That probably sounds selfish. But I struggle around this time of year, so I wanted to try and change that, but like...ok, maybe not. Key worker still hasn't got back to me, specialists don't really know what they're doing with EDS and its related ****ery, no pain management, nothing. Nothing. Idk really. I think I'll just sleep for the weekend, I don't want to do anything anyway, whatever.


Was talking to S earlier about how much ****ery has gone on since A died, and like I'm just tired. I wish everyone would just chill, lol. I know that's not how mental health works so don't come for me, but I'm fed up of the constant drama. Just makes me want to avoid everyone even more tbh.
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#67
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#67
(Original post by Pathway)
Feel really just alone. I am trying to accept the advice of that psychiatrist like seriously, I am, maybe he is right, but it's so hard, lmao. I think I am basically toxic for everyone, Ts got 136d again because I called the police on her. E is being moved from Scotland back down here because the trust messed up with the funding and I hope she doesn't go to the same place A got meningitis because I don't think that will be good, lol...So will probably have no friends to see on Sunday, which is fine I guess, I doubt I'll be up for much anyway. That probably sounds selfish. But I struggle around this time of year, so I wanted to try and change that, but like...ok, maybe not. Key worker still hasn't got back to me, specialists don't really know what they're doing with EDS and its related ****ery, no pain management, nothing. Nothing. Idk really. I think I'll just sleep for the weekend, I don't want to do anything anyway, whatever.


Was talking to S earlier about how much ****ery has gone on since A died, and like I'm just tired. I wish everyone would just chill, lol. I know that's not how mental health works so don't come for me, but I'm fed up of the constant drama. Just makes me want to avoid everyone even more tbh.
I hope things look up for you, sounds like you’re having a tough time :console:
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username3492572
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#68
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stressed, depressed and a mess
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Pathway
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#69
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I really don't have the energy to deal with going into central later today (gone midnight), or pretend things are fine or whatever. Jaw can **** right off with its issues. Idk how they can even help anyway, like I need an entirely new body and brain (I have an appointment with my jaw specialist because EDS + jaw = ffs).

Anyway, T still hasn't got back to me so I dunno if she's been sent home or not. Makes me have stupid brain issues about what if she does what K did!!! thanks for that brain I obviously need to do precisely no ****ing sleeping tonight lol. Before I called the police on T, she told me her phone was gonna die, but they usually have iPhone cables in there so...idk. meh. Maybe that is why she's not replied? I know I need to sleep but anxiety. and pain. Always pain. But back to pretending things are fine and everything is an "experience". Psychiatrist is a ******, don't really know how else to explain that one. Surprise guys positive thinking doesn't magic mental illness away! Wow I never would've guessed.

I just need to hibernate for 6000 years.
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PandaWho
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#70
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So much going on, my heads ready to explode.

Just so mentally and physically exhausted
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Pathway
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#71
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#71
Wish I knew what to do.
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CoolCavy
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#72
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#72
Feeling really scared
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ParadoxSocks
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#73
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#73
How can I legit call myself a doctoral student when I can't even string a sentence together? How will I ever present anything or defend my thesis when I forget such simple stupid words. I can't read anything because I forget what I was reading moments after I finish the sentence. I feel utterly disconnected from everything. My hands barely even feel like my own and I feel like there's some sort of weird field around me that means stuff just doesn't feel right or get through. My PhD was a stupid idea anyway. I can't work. I can't study. I can't even TSR. I'm just this big scrambled lump trying to spin so many plates but they're all just crashing around me.

I felt better on the ward than I do at home alone. I need the equivalent of day care - something to occupy my brain when nothing is working. I miss the knitting group and women who would fix my knitting when I got too upset about my mistakes. I miss the routine and the nursing staff who could sit with me if I panicked. I miss some of the people. I miss not having to worry about things happening. I miss occy health adventures to the coffee shop. I miss being broken out in the evenings and being dropped back off for milk, meds and bedtime.
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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#74
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#74
(Original post by Sabertooth)
Kinda....I saw him in March and told him I wanted to stop taking them. He told me that was a "very, very bad idea". But, I know this sounds cocky, I think I can do without them if I try. I'm just so damn sick of it and so frustrated that these pills are stopping me doing what I've always wanted to.

Btw, I'm glad your thing (don't know if I'm allowed to say here) went well! :five: I wouldn't be able to do that. Must have been so nerve-wracking.
I hear your frustration It's really hard when mental health stuff holds you back from what you love doing, or things you want to try out It does sound a bit risky, to me at least, though, to stop all your meds...

Thank you! Of course you can say here. I'm really pleased my presentation went well
(Original post by ScaryScience)
Sorry I’ve not been around in forever. Things are... well, ridiculous really. I’ve been in an acute ward for over 3 months now and am being sent to a personality disorder unit. I’m not sure where yet, or when. Feeling low and hopeless and just at the end of my tether.

How is everyone else?
Oh hun... :cry2: Lots of love and hugs to you
(Original post by ParadoxSocks)
How can I legit call myself a doctoral student when I can't even string a sentence together? How will I ever present anything or defend my thesis when I forget such simple stupid words. I can't read anything because I forget what I was reading moments after I finish the sentence. I feel utterly disconnected from everything. My hands barely even feel like my own and I feel like there's some sort of weird field around me that means stuff just doesn't feel right or get through. My PhD was a stupid idea anyway. I can't work. I can't study. I can't even TSR. I'm just this big scrambled lump trying to spin so many plates but they're all just crashing around me.

I felt better on the ward than I do at home alone. I need the equivalent of day care - something to occupy my brain when nothing is working. I miss the knitting group and women who would fix my knitting when I got too upset about my mistakes. I miss the routine and the nursing staff who could sit with me if I panicked. I miss some of the people. I miss not having to worry about things happening. I miss occy health adventures to the coffee shop. I miss being broken out in the evenings and being dropped back off for milk, meds and bedtime.
:jumphug: Really sorry you're struggling so much, hun

If it helps to know: you can get reasonable adjustments to help with managing the brain fog and coherence problems. Like for my halfway-through-Phd-mini-viva, there were something like 8 reasonable adjustments. This included notifying examiners of cognitive issues and them making allowance for lack of fluency in sentence structuring. It also enabled me to receive the vague areas of questioning an hour beforehand.
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ParadoxSocks
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#75
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(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
I hear your frustration It's really hard when mental health stuff holds you back from what you love doing, or things you want to try out It does sound a bit risky, to me at least, though, to stop all your meds...

Thank you! Of course you can say here. I'm really pleased my presentation went well

Oh hun... :cry2: Lots of love and hugs to you

:jumphug: Really sorry you're struggling so much, hun

If it helps to know: you can get reasonable adjustments to help with managing the brain fog and coherence problems. Like for my halfway-through-Phd-mini-viva, there were something like 8 reasonable adjustments. This included notifying examiners of cognitive issues and them making allowance for lack of fluency in sentence structuring. It also enabled me to receive the vague areas of questioning an hour beforehand.
Thank you <3 I have my first year progression viva coming up and I'm terrified. I feel like I'm no further on now than I was in January. I'm borderline phobic about even being on campus at the moment - I think about it and my chest just seizes up. It was the last place I was in before the A&E trip so it's not exactly full of happy funtime joytimes for me.

We have a prep session at the start of May to go through the process of the review but it still feels scary. I haven't even sorted out my DSA because the process is soul destroying and huge when I have so little brain power that I'm living on pre-made sandwiches and unseasoned scrambled eggs unless somebody is home to feed me. I'm only showered if I'm put in the shower and my hair is washed. I'm a big gross lazy sluggy lump and it's frustrating that I worked so hard to get to my PhD and now it's getting lost under brain soup.

Also systematic literature reviews are a big pile of pants.
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username2427341
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#76
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#76
I'm so stressed out
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Noodlzzz
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#77
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Noodlzzz update: meds increased and on 15 min obs. My uni hasn’t gotten back to me so now I’m worried I’m getting kicked of my PhD for being in hospital
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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#78
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#78
(Original post by seconda1)
stressed, depressed and a mess
(Original post by PandaWho)
So much going on, my heads ready to explode.

Just so mentally and physically exhausted
(Original post by Pathway)
Wish I knew what to do.
(Original post by CoolCavy)
Feeling really scared
(Original post by *Alisha*)
I'm so stressed out
Loads of hugs to you all - hope you're all safe :grouphugs:
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username2427341
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#79
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#79
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Loads of hugs to you all - hope you're all safe :grouphugs:
Exams are gonna kill me
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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#80
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(Original post by ParadoxSocks)
Thank you <3 I have my first year progression viva coming up and I'm terrified. I feel like I'm no further on now than I was in January. I'm borderline phobic about even being on campus at the moment - I think about it and my chest just seizes up. It was the last place I was in before the A&E trip so it's not exactly full of happy funtime joytimes for me.

We have a prep session at the start of May to go through the process of the review but it still feels scary. I haven't even sorted out my DSA because the process is soul destroying and huge when I have so little brain power that I'm living on pre-made sandwiches and unseasoned scrambled eggs unless somebody is home to feed me. I'm only showered if I'm put in the shower and my hair is washed. I'm a big gross lazy sluggy lump and it's frustrating that I worked so hard to get to my PhD and now it's getting lost under brain soup.

Also systematic literature reviews are a big pile of pants.
Oh no, that's so sad to hear you panic about the thought of going to campus. My heart goes out to you, that's so sad and must be very difficult to deal with Sounds like things are super-rough for you My inbox is always open to you if that helps at all x

OMG, don't even get me started on lit reviews :hide:
(Original post by Noodlzzz)
Noodlzzz update: meds increased and on 15 min obs. My uni hasn’t gotten back to me so now I’m worried I’m getting kicked of my PhD for being in hospital
Loads of hugs hun. Maybe your uni is closed for Easter? I know that my uni is closed from today and only reopens next week Weds :console:
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