Obsessing over girl I was over Watch

danbo44
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So I was speaking to a girl for about 3/4 months over summer, and we had a few dates, was going well but we ended it as went to different universities.I accepted that and we stayed friends for a while but hadn't really spoke since Christmas.

Basically until now, I hadn't really thought of her at all, but she's in sort of my circle of extended friends and now she's dating someone from my university house who I'm not very close with.

I messaged her the other day and we spoke for a bit just to catch up and she's staying at our university for a bit next month but she seems a bit distant in our conversations and not as keen as before.

Has anyone got any advice on this please as I'm obsessing over it? Why didn't I care when she's likely been dating loads of others at university but then it's someone I know I suddenly care?
Last edited by danbo44; 1 week ago
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eashdown17
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Hi there, she probably didn’t seem keen to talk to you because she’s got someone new I’m afraid! She probably wants to distance herself from you so she doesn’t make her new partner jealous or angry! I’m sorry but I don’t think there’s much point in obsessing over it because it sounds like she’s moved on, so there’s not much you can really do!
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danbo44
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Hi thanks for the response - thing is they’re at different universities so their relationship would be friends with benefits basically, not an actual one.

I don’t really care about her being distant to be honest as we hadn’t spoke for ages anyway, it’s more the fact I seem more bothered that she’s with someone I know rather than like at her uni
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eashdown17
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Yeah that’s understandable, normally you can just ignore relationships if they’re nowhere near you! Although I’m not sure you can say they’d only be friends with benefits - plenty of happy relationships happen between different unis!!
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danbo44
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(Original post by eashdown17)
Yeah that’s understandable, normally you can just ignore relationships if they’re nowhere near you! Although I’m not sure you can say they’d only be friends with benefits - plenty of happy relationships happen between different unis!!
So turns out they've gotten together but that's it really.

I don't know whether to pursue her again in that sense when she comes to our university
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Study_Girl 7
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(Original post by danbo44)
So I was speaking to a girl for about 3/4 months over summer, and we had a few dates, was going well but we ended it as went to different universities.I accepted that and we stayed friends for a while but hadn't really spoke since Christmas.

Basically until now, I hadn't really thought of her at all, but she's in sort of my circle of extended friends and now she's dating someone from my university house who I'm not very close with.

I messaged her the other day and we spoke for a bit just to catch up and she's staying at our university for a bit next month but she seems a bit distant in our conversations and not as keen as before.

Has anyone got any advice on this please as I'm obsessing over it? Why didn't I care when she's likely been dating loads of others at university but then it's someone I know I suddenly care?
Because "Time makes the heart grow fonder"
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danbo44
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(Original post by Study_Girl 7)
Because "Time makes the heart grow fonder"
This is true, though I hadn't really thought about her that much until the person I know took her out.
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danbo44
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Bump
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eashdown17
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(Original post by danbo44)
So turns out they've gotten together but that's it really.

I don't know whether to pursue her again in that sense when she comes to our university
Don’t pursue her if she’s got a boyfriend.
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danbo44
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(Original post by eashdown17)
Don’t pursue her if she’s got a boyfriend.
She hasn’t got a boyfriend, but she recently got with someone in our group. It’s not a serious thing, but until she got with him I was over her
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Anonymous #1
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get a life and stop thinking about someone who doesnt want much to do with you. i had to learn this the hard way but if they wanted to, they wouldve, and you trying to boost your own ego by getting her when you want to and break her up with the guy shes seeing (even if not serious) isnt gonna get you anywhere. she doesnt owe you friendship or anything, so maybe you should accept that. goodluck and sorry if this sounds a bit harsh
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danbo44
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(Original post by Anonymous)
get a life and stop thinking about someone who doesnt want much to do with you. i had to learn this the hard way but if they wanted to, they wouldve, and you trying to boost your own ego by getting her when you want to and break her up with the guy shes seeing (even if not serious) isnt gonna get you anywhere. she doesnt owe you friendship or anything, so maybe you should accept that. goodluck and sorry if this sounds a bit harsh
Nah that’s probably what I needed to hear actually.

She’s like friends of friends in our group though so do see her quite often especially in holidays. I don’t know why it got to me that she’s got with someone I know when she’s been away for months with probably numerous partners
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