How would 'normal' people deal with this? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#1
My colleague/supervisor is leaving soon to work at a different place, but in the same trust/company. I feel very down at the fact that he is leaving and will miss him even though he has no idea, I'm very quiet. I suppose I have feelings for him and I don't think its normal what I'm feeling its like 'emotional pain'. Ive had it before when I knew that I wouldn't see someone I had a crush on again and the feelings lasted more than a year, no one knew though I keep most things about myself quiet. For the past few months I've felt low that he is in a serious relationship and last week he said that his girlfriend was pregnant, I shouldn't be having these negative feelings I don't think its normal.

Anyway the fact that he is moving means I will have to cover his workload too. He told me yesterday in my supervision that I was doing good but one critique is that I put too much pressure on myself and don't tell him things that are stressing me. He said that someone would replace his position eventually but until then (although I won't see him) I could ring him anytime even if it is several times a day, basically he thinks I don't ask for help.

The problem is whats been stressing me over the past 2 weeks is feeling very down because he is leaving and having no appetite because of it lol, obviously I can't tell him all this without sounding like a nutter.

I guess id just like advice on how 'mentally healthy' people would deal with this, Ive not got any diagnosed problems Im sure its just in my make up to be like this
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 6 days ago
#2
Well when I knew that I was never seeing someone again despite having feelings for them I told them about my feelings because it's unhealthy to keep it to yourself. If you don't tell your colleague how you feel talk to a friend because at least then you can find other possible reasons as to why you feel the way you do. So I recommend talking to someone, or writing a diary if you're not sociable and ultimately just have 'You're time.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Well when I knew that I was never seeing someone again despite having feelings for them I told them about my feelings because it's unhealthy to keep it to yourself. If you don't tell your colleague how you feel talk to a friend because at least then you can find other possible reasons as to why you feel the way you do. So I recommend talking to someone, or writing a diary if you're not sociable and ultimately just have 'You're time.
Thanks I might try the diary, Im not sure I could tell the colleague without sounding like a nutter though. He is still in the same company just at a different place I'l have to speak to him/for help support with work matters on the phone for the next 6 weeks then someone will replace him. I'l probably see him about 4 - 5 times a year at team meetings after then. Unless I become a member of his gym classes he runs (which start at 6 am) and see him once a week for an hour lol. Im not sure if this is a good idea though.. I mean won't it be too obvious/creepy if I suddenly start at his gym when he is leaving. Wouldn't it be weird if I tell him how I feel, he is in a serious relationship with a pregnant girlfriend, theres no worse situation to like someone lol.
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Anonymous #2
#4
Report 6 days ago
#4
on another note I suggest distance from that colleague. Take part in something that definitely isn't your colleagues gym class.
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