Ok to Not Participate in Hookup Culture? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
I'm an outsider in my generation for not enjoying casual relationships/sex. At 24 years old, I’m still a virgin and have never been romantically involved with anybody, but where in the college town where I live (USA), the ones who seem to tote their dates and frequently make out seem to get the most attention. Let’s get one thing straight: it’s not that I’m a strict killjoy about romance and sex, because I think both are wonderful things, so I won’t criticise people who enjoy casual relationships. However, I’m cautious by nature, so I’m not the type to be completely bold about making love to someone whom I barely know. This is just merely a personal preference. I’m also in the process of concentrating only on true friendships, instead of keeping a humongous network of friends and acquaintances in light of hurting myself in striving to please others or fit in with a crowd who barely appreciates/values me. But I’m discouraged when I have talked to my friends in the past about my insecurities arising from several rejections. They acknowledge that many (but not all) people in my generation are largely involved in the “hookup” culture, while others have told me to “lighten up”. Is it ok not to enjoy casual sex? Or am I just a weird misfit?
0
reply
Professional G
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
It’s completely normal. Not everyone needs to be into having sex with strangers. Your feelings and doubts about it are valid. Just take your time with these things and find someone you can trust. You wouldn’t let just anyone in your house, you need to trust the person first.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
Last edited by Professional G; 1 week ago
0
reply
gjd800
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
Just do what you want (and by extension, don't do what you do not want).
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#4
Thank you so much for your very quick replies, Professional G and gjd800! After pondering this issue on several other non-TSR forums and not getting any hits I'm glad to finally find someone who understands and has made me feel better about living my own life. Big shout out also to ProG, who went the extra mile to provide a fresh and interesting perspective on my question
0
reply
Themysticalegg
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 week ago
#5
Definitely don't have to conform to social norms. Personally I find hookups meaningless so don't enjoy them. I'm a old style romantic.
0
reply
Professional G
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much for your very quick replies, Professional G and gjd800! After pondering this issue on several other non-TSR forums and not getting any hits I'm glad to finally find someone who understands and has made me feel better about living my own life. Big shout out also to ProG, who went the extra mile to provide a fresh and interesting perspective on my question
You’re welcome. I’m in a similar situation but I won’t be pressured into joining hook ups. Just be yourself and hope you find someone who is like you
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#7
(Original post by Professional G)
You’re welcome. I’m in a similar situation but I won’t be pressured into joining hook ups. Just be yourself and hope you find someone who is like you
Thanks so much again! It means so much to me to find someone else here who relates to me and feels the same way I do. This response and thread is a good start to finding people who think alike
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#8
(Original post by Themysticalegg)
Definitely don't have to conform to social norms. Personally I find hookups meaningless so don't enjoy them. I'm a old style romantic.
Thanks for your response. Call me shy or old-fashioned but I echo these sentiments. So happy you feel the same way I do
0
reply
Professional G
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 week ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks so much again! It means so much to me to find someone else here who relates to me and feels the same way I do. This response and thread is a good start to finding people who think alike
No worries. Just like helping others and giving people hope.
0
reply
FrazierThriller
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 week ago
#10
(Original post by Professional G)
No worries. Just like helping others and giving people hope.
Thats a very desirable and much needed quality. You do well with that!
2
reply
FrazierThriller
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 week ago
#11
I'm the OP by the way. The help I'm getting here has really helped me come out of my shell
0
reply
Sexwise
  •  Official Rep
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 week ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm an outsider in my generation for not enjoying casual relationships/sex. At 24 years old, I’m still a virgin and have never been romantically involved with anybody, but where in the college town where I live (USA), the ones who seem to tote their dates and frequently make out seem to get the most attention. Let’s get one thing straight: it’s not that I’m a strict killjoy about romance and sex, because I think both are wonderful things, so I won’t criticise people who enjoy casual relationships. However, I’m cautious by nature, so I’m not the type to be completely bold about making love to someone whom I barely know. This is just merely a personal preference. I’m also in the process of concentrating only on true friendships, instead of keeping a humongous network of friends and acquaintances in light of hurting myself in striving to please others or fit in with a crowd who barely appreciates/values me. But I’m discouraged when I have talked to my friends in the past about my insecurities arising from several rejections. They acknowledge that many (but not all) people in my generation are largely involved in the “hookup” culture, while others have told me to “lighten up”. Is it ok not to enjoy casual sex? Or am I just a weird misfit?
You do you. If you don't want to get involved with casual hookups that's totally fine. It's good to hear that you don't criticise people who do choose to have casual hookups. Different strokes for different folks
1
reply
FrazierThriller
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 week ago
#13
(Original post by Sexwise)
You do you. If you don't want to get involved with casual hookups that's totally fine. It's good to hear that you don't criticise people who do choose to have casual hookups. Different strokes for different folks
Well said, Sexwise! I try to accept people for who they are, so that also extends to our expressions of intimacy!
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you registered to vote?

Yes! (552)
37.83%
No - but I will (115)
7.88%
No - I don't want to (102)
6.99%
No - I can't vote (<18, not in UK, etc) (690)
47.29%

Watched Threads

View All