Is this wellbeing acceptable for uni
Long LONG post, but please read it all if you are interested.I have a friend in my first year of uni who, long story short, has a lot of mental health problems and they are not a well bunny right now. They applied for the wellbeing at my uni and were put on a waiting list, which is perfectly acceptable. My friend was told to wait 9-11 weeks for their first appointment with a councillor, they ended up waiting 5 months - and this was long after they discovered that my friend viciously and regularly self harmed and was suicidal and had attempted suicide a few times before.My friend was just happy for the help when they finally got it, but their case was passed from person to person in the wellbeing team (consisting of about 10 women) which is not allowed, especially since my friend had been promised to remain annonymous and their case was particularly sensitive with a lot of troubling details.By the time their case had been passed to about the 5th person on the wellbeing team my friend finally got a councillor for their troubles, and oh boy were they the most inexperienced councillor I've ever known.My friend is allowed 6 sessions of councilling, one hour once a week, to help them solve years upon years of abuse of all kinds and a plethora of mental illness that has nearly led to their demise a few times.My friend doesn't tell me much about the sessions but they aren't satisfactory. Once they were told to simply 'return home and make amends with their mother and father' despite my estranged friend telling them that their mother is neglective, their father abusive and their brother sexually abusive.My friend's councillor is always saying 'do you want to talk over phone?' Despite my friend repeatedly emailing the councillor about not having a working phone or a sim card, and apparently over the phone is the only way - other than the once a week face to face - that my friend can seek out emotional help if they need it.My friend let their councillor know over email that they were having a really bad week and on the verge of a break down (which I later witnessed in class and comforted them), and the councillor responded with something along the lines of 'would you like to tell me about it over the phone?'.After one councilling session my friend came to class in the morning looking traumatised. Their councillor had made them relive horrible memories in an attempt to work on my friend's ptsd, they weren't ready for this but had done as the councillor had instructed. It took my friend 2 weeks to recover, both of which they didn't see their councillor for. Their councillor basically told them 'if you can't do the exercises I'm setting then you won't fix your ptsd and you won't make any progress and you'll be wasting time'.My friend has yet to go back to councilling, having emailed them a few weeks later with tears in their eyes telling the wellbeing team that they weren't helping and that they didn't feel supported. My friend is now considering leaving this uni for one with better support and I don't blame them.What I'm asking is: is this sort of wellbeing system normal for a well funded university? Are they breaking any laws/ rules? What can I do to help the uni fix this mess for future students?Side note: my friend wrote an email to their three tutors recently about what was going on and they had a long talk with them. The course leader is going to the Dean, one tutor is literally acting as my friend's last line of defense should they try to commit suicide again and the other tutor is collecting evidence to help build my friend's case for the Dean.Other side note: in case you can't already see how bad the system is, I finally decided to apply for help for my own issues after a long talk with my gf. I wrote a massive paragraph to wellbeing including, but not limited to, my personality disorder that is a danger to myself and others and their own self harm, my crippling anxiety, my depression and suicidal thoughts/ one attempt I made a long time ago and my growing want to attempt again.After a 45 minute talk with a woman who had read the paragraph a week later, she promised to send me all these links to things in the uni and online that could help me cope until the waiting period for councilling was up. I haven't had a single email from her, not about my progress with councilling, not about the other help she promised and the stuff she said she'd sign me up for. It's coming up to about two months ago that I saw her, and it took me a lot to finally reach out to someone for once in my life, this being the exact reason I never had before because I knew I would be ignored.It troubles me that both myself and my friend can literally say we want to die, and mean it, the the wellbeing team sort of just shrugs it off.
It's very hard to understand what you're trying to say and all the details, as I find it hard to read huge blocks of text like this with no paragraphs...
A few things in response to what I've managed to understand from your situation:
- University counselling services are hugely overstretched, hence the long waiting times
6 counselling sessions per academic year is standard. At my undergrad uni, I believe it's slightly less (4 sessions per academic year)
- University counselling services (generally, afaik) aren't equipped to deal with the type of issues that both you and your friend are presenting with. It sounds like you need long-term support and monitoring from NHS mental health services, from what you've described, including longer-term therapy from NHS (though again, there will be waiting lists for that)
- It's true wellbeing staff shouldn't have promised complete confidentiality to your friend, if that is indeed what they did. Complete confidentiality cannot/will not be kept if your friend is presenting as a risk to themselves or others. Same goes for you
- It might be better for your friend to interrupt their studies or to leave altogether and work on their issues, since they are proving so disruptive to their studies, and due to the sensitive nature of their issues. That said, home doesn't sound like a good place for them, so I'm not sure what their alternative options are...
A few things in response to what I've managed to understand from your situation:
- University counselling services are hugely overstretched, hence the long waiting times
6 counselling sessions per academic year is standard. At my undergrad uni, I believe it's slightly less (4 sessions per academic year)- University counselling services (generally, afaik) aren't equipped to deal with the type of issues that both you and your friend are presenting with. It sounds like you need long-term support and monitoring from NHS mental health services, from what you've described, including longer-term therapy from NHS (though again, there will be waiting lists for that)
- It's true wellbeing staff shouldn't have promised complete confidentiality to your friend, if that is indeed what they did. Complete confidentiality cannot/will not be kept if your friend is presenting as a risk to themselves or others. Same goes for you
- It might be better for your friend to interrupt their studies or to leave altogether and work on their issues, since they are proving so disruptive to their studies, and due to the sensitive nature of their issues. That said, home doesn't sound like a good place for them, so I'm not sure what their alternative options are...
Thank you for this, it helped clear a few misconceptions up I had about the wellbeing system here. I'm relieved really that what is happening to my friend isn't particularly neglect, but it could be better.
Also, I apologise for the huge block of text, I wrote the whole thing on mobile and I had separated it into 4 paragraphs before hitting post. Apparently that didn't make a difference.
Thank you for taking your time out to help me, are there any suggestions you may have for my friend about what they can do support and help wise?
Also, I apologise for the huge block of text, I wrote the whole thing on mobile and I had separated it into 4 paragraphs before hitting post. Apparently that didn't make a difference.
Thank you for taking your time out to help me, are there any suggestions you may have for my friend about what they can do support and help wise?
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
It's very hard to understand what you're trying to say and all the details, as I find it hard to read huge blocks of text like this with no paragraphs...
A few things in response to what I've managed to understand from your situation:
- University counselling services are hugely overstretched, hence the long waiting times 6 counselling sessions per academic year is standard. At my undergrad uni, I believe it's slightly less (4 sessions per academic year)
- University counselling services (generally, afaik) aren't equipped to deal with the type of issues that both you and your friend are presenting with. It sounds like you need long-term support and monitoring from NHS mental health services, from what you've described, including longer-term therapy from NHS (though again, there will be waiting lists for that)
- It's true wellbeing staff shouldn't have promised complete confidentiality to your friend, if that is indeed what they did. Complete confidentiality cannot/will not be kept if your friend is presenting as a risk to themselves or others. Same goes for you
- It might be better for your friend to interrupt their studies or to leave altogether and work on their issues, since they are proving so disruptive to their studies, and due to the sensitive nature of their issues. That said, home doesn't sound like a good place for them, so I'm not sure what their alternative options are...
A few things in response to what I've managed to understand from your situation:
- University counselling services are hugely overstretched, hence the long waiting times
6 counselling sessions per academic year is standard. At my undergrad uni, I believe it's slightly less (4 sessions per academic year)- University counselling services (generally, afaik) aren't equipped to deal with the type of issues that both you and your friend are presenting with. It sounds like you need long-term support and monitoring from NHS mental health services, from what you've described, including longer-term therapy from NHS (though again, there will be waiting lists for that)
- It's true wellbeing staff shouldn't have promised complete confidentiality to your friend, if that is indeed what they did. Complete confidentiality cannot/will not be kept if your friend is presenting as a risk to themselves or others. Same goes for you
- It might be better for your friend to interrupt their studies or to leave altogether and work on their issues, since they are proving so disruptive to their studies, and due to the sensitive nature of their issues. That said, home doesn't sound like a good place for them, so I'm not sure what their alternative options are...
Original post by NoTalent
Thank you for this, it helped clear a few misconceptions up I had about the wellbeing system here. I'm relieved really that what is happening to my friend isn't particularly neglect, but it could be better.
Also, I apologise for the huge block of text, I wrote the whole thing on mobile and I had separated it into 4 paragraphs before hitting post. Apparently that didn't make a difference.
Thank you for taking your time out to help me, are there any suggestions you may have for my friend about what they can do support and help wise?
Also, I apologise for the huge block of text, I wrote the whole thing on mobile and I had separated it into 4 paragraphs before hitting post. Apparently that didn't make a difference.
Thank you for taking your time out to help me, are there any suggestions you may have for my friend about what they can do support and help wise?
Ahh no worries, the app often does that from what I hear!
Are you and your friend under the care of any NHS services other than a GP? Because it sounds like you really ought to be part of a CMHT (Community Mental Health Team). The way to do that would be to go to your GP and ask to be referred to a psychiatrist that is part of a CMHT. The referral may take a while to materialise but I honestly think that would be better for you, and your friend in particular. I'm not sure how equipped university counselling services are to deal with PTSD...
In the meantime, if your friend is experiencing this level of disruption to studies from her mental health issues, it might be better to take some time out. Though as I said, I appreciate the potential problems in doing that...
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