AQA English Utterson Essay Response Watch

Anisha23456789
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Moreover, Utterson is portrayed as the devil’s advocate in the quote “if he be Mr Hyde, I shall be Mr seek”. The infantile imagery of the popular children’s game would create a comical and ironic tone, as the façade of innocence used to fabricate the events of a Carew’s murder would contrast with the brutal reality. Although this pun of Hyde’s name emphasises the deception of the immoral Hyde, the determined Utterson is now presented as the protagonist role. However, the ambiguity of what Utterson will do creates a hostile atmosphere, indicating the prominent effects of malevolence on the ‘austere’ Utterson, who is bound to good intentions because of his profession. Utterson’s progression in the play has become more violent, criticising that the development in science, such as Darwinism and evolutionist theories that are thought to allow progression, have cased reversion to barbaric qualities.


Can someone mark this essay and give it a mark out of 30? I know I have not done it well but it would be great if you could give advice on how to improve it?

I'm aiming for a grades 8 for both papers so please kindly suggest what mark and band this will according to aqa's website?
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Anisha23456789
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Throughout the novel, the judicious Utterson is a prominent narrator who unveils the mystery of Jekyll and Hyde, and is utilised by Stevenson due to his pragmatic approach to the investigation of the duality of man. Through his condemnatory perception, Stevenson is enabled to criticise the Victorian views towards the duality of man and the dissension between science and religion.

To begin with, Utterson is described as someone who is ‘backward in sentiment; lean, long, dusty, dreary, yet somehow lovable.’ The monosyllabic adjectives and the alliteration of ‘dusty, dreary’ and ‘long, lean’ emphasises the caricatural physique of Utterson in comparison to the Jekyll’s ‘large, handsome face’. The adjective ‘dusty’ suggests his traditional demeanour and views, allowing his intentions to be contrasted with contemporary scientists such as Jekyll. This is a subtle criticism of Victorian standards and duality. Lombroso’s theory of physiognomy is refuted here as Utterson’s typically unappealing physique belies his ‘lovable characteristics.’
Also, Utterson is presented as a loyal and dependable companion to many of his social counterparts . This can be seen when he announces, “inclines to Cain’s Heresy; I let my friends go to the devil in their own way.” The biblical allusion to ‘Cain’s Heresy’ and in particular the verb ‘incline’ suggests that he does not interfere with his acquaintances’ ‘high pressure and spirits involved in their misdeeds’, which would resonate primarily with the predominantly Christian period audience, and is intended to criticise their feigned social interactions. To many period audiences who have a moral vacillation, Utterson is characterised as an ideal friend, as like Cain, he does not interfere with the affairs of those who were “those of his own blood”. In contrast, modern audiences would perceive this as deplorable, which is created by the semantic field of heaven and hell created by the noun ‘devil’, which is utilized as a motif to remind the audience of a higher power.


Moreover, Utterson is portrayed as the devil’s advocate in the quote “if he be Mr Hyde, I shall be Mr seek”. The infantile imagery of the popular children’s game would create a comical and ironic tone, as the façade of innocence used to fabricate the events of a Carew’s murder would contrast with the brutal reality. Although this pun of Hyde’s name emphasises the deception of the immoral Hyde, the determined Utterson is now presented as the protagonist role. However, the ambiguity of what Utterson will do creates a hostile atmosphere, indicating the prominent effects of malevolence on the ‘austere’ Utterson, who is bound to good intentions because of his profession. Utterson’s progression in the play has become more violent, criticising that the development in science, such as Darwinism and evolutionist theories that are thought to allow progression, have cased reversion to barbaric qualities.

Overall, Stevenson presents Utterson to be very non-judgemental towards others, despite reputation being important to him. He describes him as : "he never marked a shade of change in his demeanour’, implying him to be very loyal and helpful to those who get to into trouble.The characterisation of Utterson shown here paints him as a character who is totally dependable, consistent and this establishes him as credential, making the reader trust him as a reliable narrator. This is further emphasised when he tells Jekyll that:’Carew was my client,but so are you’. The phrase,’but so are you’, suggests his human side shown in itself in the ‘acts of his life’ and Stevenson chooses this phrase here to perhaps manifest on the idea that if Victorian society become more tolerant of human behaviour, then there would be less need to hide immoral desires. Therefore Stevenson uses this quotes here to exhibit that even though Utterson plays by society’s rules, he’s displayed to be understanding when people fall foul of them.
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Anisha23456789
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The full essay and would appreciate your feedback and what band this would be and what A0s I have used?
(Original post by Anisha23456789)
Throughout the novel, the judicious Utterson is a prominent narrator who unveils the mystery of Jekyll and Hyde, and is utilised by Stevenson due to his pragmatic approach to the investigation of the duality of man. Through his condemnatory perception, Stevenson is enabled to criticise the Victorian views towards the duality of man and the dissension between science and religion.

To begin with, Utterson is described as someone who is ‘backward in sentiment; lean, long, dusty, dreary, yet somehow lovable.’ The monosyllabic adjectives and the alliteration of ‘dusty, dreary’ and ‘long, lean’ emphasises the caricatural physique of Utterson in comparison to the Jekyll’s ‘large, handsome face’. The adjective ‘dusty’ suggests his traditional demeanour and views, allowing his intentions to be contrasted with contemporary scientists such as Jekyll. This is a subtle criticism of Victorian standards and duality. Lombroso’s theory of physiognomy is refuted here as Utterson’s typically unappealing physique belies his ‘lovable characteristics.’
Also, Utterson is presented as a loyal and dependable companion to many of his social counterparts . This can be seen when he announces, “inclines to Cain’s Heresy; I let my friends go to the devil in their own way.” The biblical allusion to ‘Cain’s Heresy’ and in particular the verb ‘incline’ suggests that he does not interfere with his acquaintances’ ‘high pressure and spirits involved in their misdeeds’, which would resonate primarily with the predominantly Christian period audience, and is intended to criticise their feigned social interactions. To many period audiences who have a moral vacillation, Utterson is characterised as an ideal friend, as like Cain, he does not interfere with the affairs of those who were “those of his own blood”. In contrast, modern audiences would perceive this as deplorable, which is created by the semantic field of heaven and hell created by the noun ‘devil’, which is utilized as a motif to remind the audience of a higher power.


Moreover, Utterson is portrayed as the devil’s advocate in the quote “if he be Mr Hyde, I shall be Mr seek”. The infantile imagery of the popular children’s game would create a comical and ironic tone, as the façade of innocence used to fabricate the events of a Carew’s murder would contrast with the brutal reality. Although this pun of Hyde’s name emphasises the deception of the immoral Hyde, the determined Utterson is now presented as the protagonist role. However, the ambiguity of what Utterson will do creates a hostile atmosphere, indicating the prominent effects of malevolence on the ‘austere’ Utterson, who is bound to good intentions because of his profession. Utterson’s progression in the play has become more violent, criticising that the development in science, such as Darwinism and evolutionist theories that are thought to allow progression, have cased reversion to barbaric qualities.

Overall, Stevenson presents Utterson to be very non-judgemental towards others, despite reputation being important to him. He describes him as : "he never marked a shade of change in his demeanour’, implying him to be very loyal and helpful to those who get to into trouble.The characterisation of Utterson shown here paints him as a character who is totally dependable, consistent and this establishes him as credential, making the reader trust him as a reliable narrator. This is further emphasised when he tells Jekyll that:’Carew was my client,but so are you’. The phrase,’but so are you’, suggests his human side shown in itself in the ‘acts of his life’ and Stevenson chooses this phrase here to perhaps manifest on the idea that if Victorian society become more tolerant of human behaviour, then there would be less need to hide immoral desires. Therefore Stevenson uses this quotes here to exhibit that even though Utterson plays by society’s rules, he’s displayed to be understanding when people fall foul of them.
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Anisha23456789
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I wrote this in 53 minutes.....
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Kate23456712
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Nice essay...I don't know what people from who have done the exam before would mark it as.......Soz for that......
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jamesg2
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There are a number of points I would make.
First, this is a competent essay that shows insight into the novella.
However:
Second, your first paragraph is very poor. It is not until the last paragraph I realise what your subject is. “Stevenson presents Utterson to be very non-judgemental towards others, despite reputation being important to him.” That is not clear in your first paragraph. It is important your first paragraph makes clear what the subject of the essay is.
Third, you say that “Utterson is a prominent narrator” I would contest that. Mostly the novella is in third person aside from the last three sections which are in first person. Therefore to suggest that Utterson is the prominent narrator is not really true.
Fourth, Utterson is already concerned about Jekyll even before the novella opens. He is highly concerned why Jekyll has willed ownership of his house to someone who is a stranger to Utterson. This concern is increased when Utterson hears Enfield’s account of what happened to the young girl.
Fifth, Utterson is a compromised character. First when he leads the policeman to Hyde’s front door he does not explain that around the corner is a second entrance to the house: Jekyll’s entrance. When he views the murdered body of Sir Danvers Carew he recognises the murder weapon: the broken walking stick. He recognises it. It was a present Utterson gave to Jekyll.
Sixth, Duality is actually Singularity. There are not two different people in this story. Hyde is Jekyll in another psychological guise. It is logical to argue that it was Jekyll who murdered Danvers Carew while he was in the guise of Hyde and not Hyde who murdered him.

Sorry to be so pedantic but I write textual notes for a living and I have written a set on this novella. In essence this is a sound essay and I have offered issues you might want to consider and address.
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Trexs
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hey
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Kate23456712
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Hi James,

I see you have made lots of feedback for anisha's utterson essay. Could you perhaps sugar then what sort of grade anisha was writing at in terms of 9-1?

Well done anisha for writing so much...honestly I could not do that much in the given time by aqa.
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jamesg2
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Throughout the novel, the judicious Utterson is a prominent narrator who unveils the mystery of Jekyll and Hyde, and is utilised by Stevenson due to his pragmatic approach to the investigation of the duality of man. Through his condemnatory perception, Stevenson is enabled to criticise the Victorian views towards the duality of man and the dissension between science and religion.

Assuming this is the opening paragraph, it is not the most powerful. It wanders quite a bit. Assuming the question is - described in final paragraph - then I would begin as follows:

I agree Robert Louis Stevenson considers Mr. Utterson to be non-judgemental towards others is because he is someone who is not emotional and readily shares his feelings with others. In addition R. L Stevenson has created a character who is not only a lawyer but one who is determined to seek all the evidence and finally he is a character who is determined to get to the truth of any issue.

To begin with, Utterson is described as someone who is ‘backward in sentiment; lean, long, dusty, dreary, yet somehow lovable.’ The monosyllabic adjectives and the alliteration of ‘dusty, dreary’ and ‘long, lean’ emphasises the caricatural physique of Utterson in comparison to the Jekyll’s ‘large, handsome face’. The adjective ‘dusty’ suggests his traditional demeanour and views, allowing his intentions to be contrasted with contemporary scientists such as Jekyll. This is a subtle criticism of Victorian standards and duality. Lombroso’s theory of physiognomy is refuted here as Utterson’s typically unappealing physique belies his ‘lovable characteristics.’
Also, Utterson is presented as a loyal and dependable companion to many of his social counterparts . This can be seen when he announces, “inclines to Cain’s Heresy; I let my friends go to the devil in their own way.” The biblical allusion to ‘Cain’s Heresy’ and in particular the verb ‘incline’ suggests that he does not interfere with his acquaintances’ ‘high pressure and spirits involved in their misdeeds’, which would resonate primarily with the predominantly Christian period audience, and is intended to criticise their feigned social interactions. To many period audiences who have a moral vacillation, Utterson is characterised as an ideal friend, as like Cain, he does not interfere with the affairs of those who were “those of his own blood”. In contrast, modern audiences would perceive this as deplorable, which is created by the semantic field of heaven and hell created by the noun ‘devil’, which is utilized as a motif to remind the audience of a higher power.

One of the advantages of highlighting your argument in your introductory paragraph is it allows you to readily see whether you have fully explored your point in your introduction in your first paragraph. You have definitely attempted to explore the issue. Maybe one weakness - which I often criticised when lacking in others - is that maybe you have over-done textual analysis. You have not really explored Utterson’s character except through textual analysis. For example the “Cain’s Heresy” you see as a positive characteristic. However being indifferent to others and their lives could be a negative characteristic.

Moreover, Utterson is portrayed as the devil’s advocate in the quote “if he be Mr Hyde, I shall be Mr seek”. The infantile imagery of the popular children’s game would create a comical and ironic tone, as the façade of innocence used to fabricate the events of a Carew’s murder would contrast with the brutal reality. Although this pun of Hyde’s name emphasises the deception of the immoral Hyde, the determined Utterson is now presented as the protagonist role. However, the ambiguity of what Utterson will do creates a hostile atmosphere, indicating the prominent effects of malevolence on the ‘austere’ Utterson, who is bound to good intentions because of his profession. Utterson’s progression in the play has become more violent, criticising that the development in science, such as Darwinism and evolutionist theories that are thought to allow progression, have cased reversion to barbaric qualities.

To be honest you have partially identified the characteristic but essentially you skirt around the issue. “The Search for Mr. Hyde” - the title of document 2 and from which the “seek - hyde” quote comes from - should be the central focus of this section. Utterson is already alert to Hyde, his name is mentioned in Jekyll’s will. To have added to Utterson’s concerns that this same Mr. Hyde is a violent person is the point of the quote. As Jekyll’s lawyer he is determined find out exactly who this Mr. Hyde is. The seek-hide quote is both metaphor - as you correctly identify - but it is also a literal expression of determination. As Jekyll’s lawyer and friend he is going to track this person down.
I feel this was the issue you wanted to explore, but I am not convinced you have given done it full justice.


Overall, Stevenson presents Utterson to be very non-judgemental towards others, despite reputation being important to him. He describes him as : "he never marked a shade of change in his demeanour’, implying him to be very loyal and helpful to those who get to into trouble.The characterisation of Utterson shown here paints him as a character who is totally dependable, consistent and this establishes him as credential, making the reader trust him as a reliable narrator. This is further emphasised when he tells Jekyll that:’Carew was my client,but so are you’. The phrase,’but so are you’, suggests his human side shown in itself in the ‘acts of his life’ and Stevenson chooses this phrase here to perhaps manifest on the idea that if Victorian society become more tolerant of human behaviour, then there would be less need to hide immoral desires. Therefore Stevenson uses this quotes here to exhibit that even though Utterson plays by society’s rules, he’s displayed to be understanding when people fall foul of them.

I understand this is your third point, but I hope this paragraph was not intended to be your conclusion. If it was intended to be your final paragraph then you should have a further paragraph in which to conclude. The final paragraph never introduces new material as this paragraph has.

This is probably your strongest paragraph. The only issue I would have included is that Utterson is a compromised character. Though he is a character with positive attributes, he is not as positive a character as you paint him.

What is missing? I do not see anything of you in this essay - what is often referred to as Evaluation. The examiner wants to see how this novella and/or character has affected you as a reader. Yes they want to see the critical analysis - but they are equally concerned about your views on the character. How do you respond to this novella and/or character. Do you admire the character, do you feel sorry for the character, do you feel uncomfortable about this character? Evaluation is equally important as analysis but unlike analysis it provides the examiner their first real glimpse of the person writing the essay.

So what grade? This should come as no surprise that this is a pass. If GCSE feels the same as the SQA then examiners tend to be sympathetic to essays written under exam conditions. I could possibly award around 5/6 but probably no higher.

That said had the issues I have identified been included in your essay I would have to have to be given a reason not to go up to a 9, especially since this essay is being deemed to have been written under exam conditions.

Hope this is of help to you.
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(Original post by jamesg2)
Throughout the novel, the judicious Utterson is a prominent narrator who unveils the mystery of Jekyll and Hyde, and is utilised by Stevenson due to his pragmatic approach to the investigation of the duality of man. Through his condemnatory perception, Stevenson is enabled to criticise the Victorian views towards the duality of man and the dissension between science and religion.

Assuming this is the opening paragraph, it is not the most powerful. It wanders quite a bit. Assuming the question is - described in final paragraph - then I would begin as follows:

I agree Robert Louis Stevenson considers Mr. Utterson to be non-judgemental towards others is because he is someone who is not emotional and readily shares his feelings with others. In addition R. L Stevenson has created a character who is not only a lawyer but one who is determined to seek all the evidence and finally he is a character who is determined to get to the truth of any issue.

To begin with, Utterson is described as someone who is ‘backward in sentiment; lean, long, dusty, dreary, yet somehow lovable.’ The monosyllabic adjectives and the alliteration of ‘dusty, dreary’ and ‘long, lean’ emphasises the caricatural physique of Utterson in comparison to the Jekyll’s ‘large, handsome face’. The adjective ‘dusty’ suggests his traditional demeanour and views, allowing his intentions to be contrasted with contemporary scientists such as Jekyll. This is a subtle criticism of Victorian standards and duality. Lombroso’s theory of physiognomy is refuted here as Utterson’s typically unappealing physique belies his ‘lovable characteristics.’
Also, Utterson is presented as a loyal and dependable companion to many of his social counterparts . This can be seen when he announces, “inclines to Cain’s Heresy; I let my friends go to the devil in their own way.” The biblical allusion to ‘Cain’s Heresy’ and in particular the verb ‘incline’ suggests that he does not interfere with his acquaintances’ ‘high pressure and spirits involved in their misdeeds’, which would resonate primarily with the predominantly Christian period audience, and is intended to criticise their feigned social interactions. To many period audiences who have a moral vacillation, Utterson is characterised as an ideal friend, as like Cain, he does not interfere with the affairs of those who were “those of his own blood”. In contrast, modern audiences would perceive this as deplorable, which is created by the semantic field of heaven and hell created by the noun ‘devil’, which is utilized as a motif to remind the audience of a higher power.

One of the advantages of highlighting your argument in your introductory paragraph is it allows you to readily see whether you have fully explored your point in your introduction in your first paragraph. You have definitely attempted to explore the issue. Maybe one weakness - which I often criticised when lacking in others - is that maybe you have over-done textual analysis. You have not really explored Utterson’s character except through textual analysis. For example the “Cain’s Heresy” you see as a positive characteristic. However being indifferent to others and their lives could be a negative characteristic.

Moreover, Utterson is portrayed as the devil’s advocate in the quote “if he be Mr Hyde, I shall be Mr seek”. The infantile imagery of the popular children’s game would create a comical and ironic tone, as the façade of innocence used to fabricate the events of a Carew’s murder would contrast with the brutal reality. Although this pun of Hyde’s name emphasises the deception of the immoral Hyde, the determined Utterson is now presented as the protagonist role. However, the ambiguity of what Utterson will do creates a hostile atmosphere, indicating the prominent effects of malevolence on the ‘austere’ Utterson, who is bound to good intentions because of his profession. Utterson’s progression in the play has become more violent, criticising that the development in science, such as Darwinism and evolutionist theories that are thought to allow progression, have cased reversion to barbaric qualities.

To be honest you have partially identified the characteristic but essentially you skirt around the issue. “The Search for Mr. Hyde” - the title of document 2 and from which the “seek - hyde” quote comes from - should be the central focus of this section. Utterson is already alert to Hyde, his name is mentioned in Jekyll’s will. To have added to Utterson’s concerns that this same Mr. Hyde is a violent person is the point of the quote. As Jekyll’s lawyer he is determined find out exactly who this Mr. Hyde is. The seek-hide quote is both metaphor - as you correctly identify - but it is also a literal expression of determination. As Jekyll’s lawyer and friend he is going to track this person down.
I feel this was the issue you wanted to explore, but I am not convinced you have given done it full justice.


Overall, Stevenson presents Utterson to be very non-judgemental towards others, despite reputation being important to him. He describes him as : "he never marked a shade of change in his demeanour’, implying him to be very loyal and helpful to those who get to into trouble.The characterisation of Utterson shown here paints him as a character who is totally dependable, consistent and this establishes him as credential, making the reader trust him as a reliable narrator. This is further emphasised when he tells Jekyll that:’Carew was my client,but so are you’. The phrase,’but so are you’, suggests his human side shown in itself in the ‘acts of his life’ and Stevenson chooses this phrase here to perhaps manifest on the idea that if Victorian society become more tolerant of human behaviour, then there would be less need to hide immoral desires. Therefore Stevenson uses this quotes here to exhibit that even though Utterson plays by society’s rules, he’s displayed to be understanding when people fall foul of them.

I understand this is your third point, but I hope this paragraph was not intended to be your conclusion. If it was intended to be your final paragraph then you should have a further paragraph in which to conclude. The final paragraph never introduces new material as this paragraph has.

This is probably your strongest paragraph. The only issue I would have included is that Utterson is a compromised character. Though he is a character with positive attributes, he is not as positive a character as you paint him.

What is missing? I do not see anything of you in this essay - what is often referred to as Evaluation. The examiner wants to see how this novella and/or character has affected you as a reader. Yes they want to see the critical analysis - but they are equally concerned about your views on the character. How do you respond to this novella and/or character. Do you admire the character, do you feel sorry for the character, do you feel uncomfortable about this character? Evaluation is equally important as analysis but unlike analysis it provides the examiner their first real glimpse of the person writing the essay.

So what grade? This should come as no surprise that this is a pass. If GCSE feels the same as the SQA then examiners tend to be sympathetic to essays written under exam conditions. I could possibly award around 5/6 but probably no higher.

That said had the issues I have identified been included in your essay I would have to have to be given a reason not to go up to a 9, especially since this essay is being deemed to have been written under exam conditions.

Hope this is of help to you.
You're actually the harshest marker that I have ever seen.
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jamesg2
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Yes I agree I am critical. However I see my purpose to indicate to students where improvement can be made. I hope to inspire people how they can make their work even better. I prefer not to ignore weaknesses.

Sorry if I disappointed you.
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Kate23456712
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Guys, what would anishas essay be then out of 30 in aqa, just out of interest?

(GcSE).

P.S.this would help others.
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Tolgarda
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(Original post by jamesg2)
Yes I agree I am critical. However I see my purpose to indicate to students where improvement can be made. I hope to inspire people how they can make their work even better. I prefer not to ignore weaknesses.

Sorry if I disappointed you.
Haha, not really disappointing. I do like your style. What I must say is that your marking is not only critical, but vastly more critical relative to a typical GCSE examiner. I know this because you have torn apart my work in the past that a GCSE examiner gave full marks to (from a mock exam).
Last edited by Tolgarda; 1 month ago
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Kate23456712
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Guys can you two stop arguing? Anyways Tolgarda how much would you says her work?
(Original post by Tolgarda)
Haha, not really disappointing. I do like your style. What I must say is that your marking is not only critical, but vastly more critical relative to a typical GCSE examiner. I know this because you have torn apart my work in the past that a GCSE examiner gave full marks to (from a mock exam).
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Tolgarda
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(Original post by Kate23456712)
Guys can you two stop arguing? Anyways Tolgarda how much would you says her work?
I wouldn't say that we are arguing. Also, I usually refuse to say how much credit I believe anyone's work merits. I am a student, and thus the mark I award may be misleading. Anyway, I am a student used to the Edexcel marking criteria and exam rubric, so I can't really award a mark. I do think that someone else can though...

ETETutor is an examiner. I have seen on YouTube that has knowledge of both AQA and Edexcel's marking criteria for the GCSE English courses. She might be able to award a mark for this piece.
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@Tolgarda Thank you for suggesting this student contact me.
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