Why would someone randomly say "you're not hot"? Watch

Anonymous #1
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The other day I was walking with my friend, her boyfriend and her brother. Her boyfriend apparently caught her brother staring at my chest, and for some unknown reason, felt compelled to say "stop looking at her chest. At least do it someone who's hot", or something to that effect. If that wasn't enough, he then felt the need to clarify by saying to me "by the way, I'm saying you're not hot". This made my heart sink. I can't stop thinking about it. After that I just went home and cried. I've been really insecure since then and don't want to leave the house. I know I should just shrug it off and say eff him he's an a hole, but I just don't understand why he would just come out and say that. I've been called pretty, hot, sexy, beautiful, gorgeous even stunning, but for some reason none of that matters when one stupid guy says a mean thing (I was bullied at school, so I never felt beautiful or believed anyone who said it), but it just confuses me. Any idea why someone would just come out and say that for absolutely no reason, other than the fact he's a d.ick? I just want to know what would possess a friend's bf to say that to their girlfriend's friend with no provocation whatsoever.
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eashdown17
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Ok so there is basically no explanation other than what you said! That’s a horrible thing to say, but I know it can be harder to ignore insults than compliments! You’ll soon get over it but just know that you don’t deserve that!!
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jjjjxxx
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Ugh there isnt any reason except his ignorance. But one thing, didn't ur friend say anything back to him? If she didn't, that is rude and u shouldn't hang around with her too much as its her duty to defend u when the bf was being a d#
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Ricktatorship
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(Original post by jjjjxxx)
Ugh there isnt any reason except his ignorance. But one thing, didn't ur friend say anything back to him? If she didn't, that is rude and u shouldn't hang around with her too much as its her duty to defend u when the bf was being a d#
Hi this is the OP, this question took hours to post for some reason, and I posted the same question under my actual TSR name since nobody knows me here anyway. Nope, she didn't say a damn thing about it. I was so flustered and I didn't know what to say, so I kind of just stayed quiet until I got home (so about 10 minutes). It was just so upsetting that I couldn't think of anything to say, if that makes sense.
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BenK64
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(Original post by Ricktatorship)
Hi this is the OP, this question took hours to post for some reason, and I posted the same question under my actual TSR name since nobody knows me here anyway. Nope, she didn't say a damn thing about it. I was so flustered and I didn't know what to say, so I kind of just stayed quiet until I got home (so about 10 minutes). It was just so upsetting that I couldn't think of anything to say, if that makes sense.
She is a terrible friend. Her bf is also a massive *******, but even then it's still strange that we would just say that without reason.

The only thing I can think of, is perhaps your friend is insecure/ jealous of your looks and told her bf about it - so he tried to embarrass you to clarify to your friend that he doesn't like you. If that makes sense. Whatever the reason I'd demand an apology from both of them and cut ties with them if they refuse.
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AlaniBallani
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It's never easy to get over such a confidence knock like that, but don't worry about it. That guy was obviously a douche, and you're not obliged to speak to him. Ever. Plus, he's encouraging the brother to perv on others, which is pretty crappy. And it's good you didn't dignify his stupid comment with a response. Just focus on the compliments you get (you'll probably appreciate them more after this), don't dwell on the idiot, and don't stop loving yourself!
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Acsel
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There probably was some psychological reason he said this, for the most part people aren't usually ********s for absolutely no reason. We can't really give any insight but that's all irrelevant. There's no excuse for his behaviour

Don't let it get you down, focus on the compliments you get instead as they're far more valuable than one random jackass. And maybe reconsider how much this person is your friend. Being in a relationship isn't a free pass to insult your partners friends.
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Ricktatorship
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(Original post by BenK64)
She is a terrible friend. Her bf is also a massive *******, but even then it's still strange that we would just say that without reason.

The only thing I can think of, is perhaps your friend is insecure/ jealous of your looks and told her bf about it - so he tried to embarrass you to clarify to your friend that he doesn't like you. If that makes sense. Whatever the reason I'd demand an apology from both of them and cut ties with them if they refuse.
Thank you for your reply, it's very much appreciated. I really don't understand why he said itx or why my friend didn't say anything. I did think of that, and somebody else did come mention pretty much what you said, but he has indicated his attraction to someone else that I know, and he's never said anything like this to her. I'm nothing but nice to him too, so it's not like I offended him in some way. He's just an a.rse and I will definitely be asking my friend why she didn't say anything. The whole situation just confuses me.
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jjjjxxx
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yess this person said exactly what i was thinking - shes toxic and is jealous of ur looks, so her bf probably said that to make her feel better. And perhaps hes jealous that ur more attractive than his gf and felt the necessity to bring u down. But honestly just forget about it, every person is beautiful in their own way, and u should be gassed they're jealous xx
(Original post by Ricktatorship)
Thank you for your reply, it's very much appreciated. I really don't understand why he said itx or why my friend didn't say anything. I did think of that, and somebody else did come mention pretty much what you said, but he has indicated his attraction to someone else that I know, and he's never said anything like this to her. I'm nothing but nice to him too, so it's not like I offended him in some way. He's just an a.rse and I will definitely be asking my friend why she didn't say anything. The whole situation just confuses me.
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Ricktatorship
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(Original post by Acsel)
There probably was some psychological reason he said this, for the most part people aren't usually ********s for absolutely no reason. We can't really give any insight but that's all irrelevant. There's no excuse for his behaviour

Don't let it get you down, focus on the compliments you get instead as they're far more valuable than one random jackass. And maybe reconsider how much this person is your friend. Being in a relationship isn't a free pass to insult your partners friends.
Thank you for your reply. Without actually asking him, I'm aware I can only theorize. The whole thing is just confusing. There was no prompt for it, and it pertained to no conversation we were having. It really did come out of nowhere. I'm really surprised that my friend didn't say anything, as she's usually the first person to talk back to someone. Not that that alters the course of events.

Again, thank you for your reply, it's very much appreciated.
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Ricktatorship
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(Original post by jjjjxxx)
yess this person said exactly what i was thinking - shes toxic and is jealous of ur looks, so her bf probably said that to make her feel better. And perhaps hes jealous that ur more attractive than his gf and felt the necessity to bring u down. But honestly just forget about it, every person is beautiful in their own way, and u should be gassed they're jealous xx
I don't think so. I mean I'm very mad at her right now, but she's not really the jealous type (from what I've seen, but that of course may not be entirely accurate). I don't know why he would be open about his attraction to another girl that we both talk to (who is to put it kindly, more 'promiscuous'), and then horrible about me. Even telling his gf that he likes another girl while going out with her is horrible. I just don't understand this whole thing.
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jjjjxxx
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ok hes just weird like what the flip who does that.
(Original post by Ricktatorship)
I don't think so. I mean I'm very mad at her right now, but she's not really the jealous type (from what I've seen, but that of course may not be entirely accurate). I don't know why he would be open about his attraction to another girl that we both talk to (who is to put it kindly, more 'promiscuous'), and then horrible about me. Even telling his gf that he likes another girl while going out with her is horrible. I just don't understand this whole thing.
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