Do I stay or do I go? Watch

Rmcewan15
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I’ll try to keep it short, but this is like a multi-year story so don’t come for me.

I’m a first year Law student. I hate it. It sucks.

I never wanted to study it in the first place. I wanted to do English or Philosophy but I got a hard no from my mum when I tried to apply to those and things were pretty dire in the house at the time so I agreed to study Law instead to keep the peace.

I go to a uni about an hour away. My SAAS money (I’m Scottish) just about covers rent but that’s it. I worked last summer and that covered most my food and that for this year but I also got an allowance from my mum every week, which allowed me to have a social life and buy books (should have been textbooks but I spent it on OG books bc **** Law).

My grades ain’t stellar this year but I should at least complete the year and move into second year if I stick with Law. If things were desperate, I could probably soldier through and get a degree in it.

It’s a punish, though. I’m not interested in it, it’s actually emotionally difficult to study at times, and it’s embarrassing saying I study it when I meet new people.

Long story short, I really ****ing want to switch degree.

I emailed the English department and they’re down to take me, though I have to sign up with Disability Services because of el depressiono.

I didn’t even ask my mum. I implied I wasn’t happy with Law, and she immediately shot down me moving. She also gave me an hour long speech about how I was basically the black sheep of the family (I got straights As, 32 in the LNAT, and I’m the only member of the family who hasn’t at some point been seriously violent to another member of the family) because I ‘would never be happy with anything because I was always comparing myself to people with more money than us’ (I don’t. I compare myself to people with less money than us but more stable homes).

Basically, she ain’t gonna let me switch. And if she’s true to form, she’ll disown my ass if she finds out I did. Also, no home, no money except what I have in my bank account, which currently is £120, and I haven’t even booked a flat for next year yet so I have to find money somewhere for a deposit.

What do I do? What can I do? Alternatively, where do I find a sugar daddy?
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That'sGreat
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If I go, there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
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Rmcewan15
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Yeah that
(Original post by That'sGreat)
If I go, there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
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cheesecakelove
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(Original post by Rmcewan15)
I’ll try to keep it short, but this is like a multi-year story so don’t come for me.

I’m a first year Law student. I hate it. It sucks.

I never wanted to study it in the first place. I wanted to do English or Philosophy but I got a hard no from my mum when I tried to apply to those and things were pretty dire in the house at the time so I agreed to study Law instead to keep the peace.

I go to a uni about an hour away. My SAAS money (I’m Scottish) just about covers rent but that’s it. I worked last summer and that covered most my food and that for this year but I also got an allowance from my mum every week, which allowed me to have a social life and buy books (should have been textbooks but I spent it on OG books bc **** Law).

My grades ain’t stellar this year but I should at least complete the year and move into second year if I stick with Law. If things were desperate, I could probably soldier through and get a degree in it.

It’s a punish, though. I’m not interested in it, it’s actually emotionally difficult to study at times, and it’s embarrassing saying I study it when I meet new people.

Long story short, I really ****ing want to switch degree.

I emailed the English department and they’re down to take me, though I have to sign up with Disability Services because of el depressiono.

I didn’t even ask my mum. I implied I wasn’t happy with Law, and she immediately shot down me moving. She also gave me an hour long speech about how I was basically the black sheep of the family (I got straights As, 32 in the LNAT, and I’m the only member of the family who hasn’t at some point been seriously violent to another member of the family) because I ‘would never be happy with anything because I was always comparing myself to people with more money than us’ (I don’t. I compare myself to people with less money than us but more stable homes).

Basically, she ain’t gonna let me switch. And if she’s true to form, she’ll disown my ass if she finds out I did. Also, no home, no money except what I have in my bank account, which currently is £120, and I haven’t even booked a flat for next year yet so I have to find money somewhere for a deposit.

What do I do? What can I do? Alternatively, where do I find a sugar daddy?
Have you talked to your mum properly about the way you are feeling? "Implied" seems like you weren't clear with her. You hate law and you are miserable studying the subject, it makes sense for you to switch degrees to someone you enjoy and will be more motivated to study. Why would your mother object to this?

In terms of money, have you considered looking for a new job to finance your study and living costs?
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That'sGreat
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It alway confuses me when people allow their parents to choose their university degree for them
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Rmcewan15
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(Original post by cheesecakelove)
Have you talked to your mum properly about the way you are feeling? "Implied" seems like you weren't clear with her. You hate law and you are miserable studying the subject, it makes sense for you to switch degrees to someone you enjoy and will be more motivated to study. Why would your mother object to this?

In terms of money, have you considered looking for a new job to finance your study and living costs?
Talk to my mother? About how I’m feeling? I once told her I’d tried to kill myself two nights before (I had, my teacher found out and strongarmed me into telling her) and her response was ‘this better not come back on me’ followed by silence. She’s not one to take my feelings all too seriously.

As to why she wouldn’t let me study what I wanted, I think she thinks that 1) the only purpose of uni is to get a job 2) that only studying law will get me a job and therefore 3) the only thing I should study is law.

I’ve been applying for jobs over the summer but no joy so far. What I really need is cash in hand right now so I can put a deposit down for a flat, and a job next year so I can be self sufficient.
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cheesecakelove
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(Original post by Rmcewan15)
Talk to my mother? About how I’m feeling? I once told her I’d tried to kill myself two nights before (I had, my teacher found out and strongarmed me into telling her) and her response was ‘this better not come back on me’ followed by silence. She’s not one to take my feelings all too seriously.

As to why she wouldn’t let me study what I wanted, I think she thinks that 1) the only purpose of uni is to get a job 2) that only studying law will get me a job and therefore 3) the only thing I should study is law.

I’ve been applying for jobs over the summer but no joy so far. What I really need is cash in hand right now so I can put a deposit down for a flat, and a job next year so I can be self sufficient.
Sorry to hear that Do you have someone who you can talk to - a good friend or a trusted family member?

Your mother seems to have some incorrect ideas about going to university, and plenty of other students study other degrees to graduate with good jobs too. She is very inflexible in her way of thinking. You should choose the degree that you think is best suited for you and opens up the doors for the career you do want to go into.

I think the main thing should be focusing on getting some money saved and looking for work so you find it easier to support yourself. If no one can change your mother's mind, you will find it difficult at first but persevere. What do you want to do with your degree after your graduate? Hopefully your mother can see that you are concentrated on making the best possible future for yourself and planning well, and can come around to your way of thinking in time.
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mkstudent
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How will she know you’ve switched degree until your graduation ceremony?

Seriously, you need to do what makes you happy. Maybe tell her you will either switch degree or not go at all. Alternatively, tell her you can still be a lawyer with any sort of degree, and lots of law firms actually prefer “converters”, and you are more likely to get a 1st in a subject you love. Of course you may never do the conversion, but hey - cross that bridge when you come to it.
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harrysbar
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Sorry to hear that your mother is being so unreasonable. I agree with mkstudent that she wouldn't actually know about it for 2 years if you switched to Year 1 of an English degree. Of course, she would find out in the end and might not give you financial assistance for the third year of your degree. I'm not necessarily advocating this course of action if you really think she would disown you over it, but it does seem very wrong that she's dictating what degree you can and can't do and it's no surprise you are suffering from depression. Like another poster said, there is no problem with English graduates going on to practice Law (in the unlikely event that you would actually want to) - maybe you could print off some careers information about pathways into Law in another attempt to persuade your mum to give you her blessing for the switch.
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mkstudent
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Would you have to take an extra year? or will they let you switch into yr2?
(Original post by harrysbar)
Sorry to hear that your mother is being so unreasonable. I agree with mkstudent that she wouldn't actually know about it for 2 years if you switched to Year 1 of an English degree. Of course, she would find out in the end and might not give you financial assistance for the third year of your degree. I'm not necessarily advocating this course of action if you really think she would disown you over it, but it does seem very wrong that she's dictating what degree you can and can't do and it's no surprise you are suffering from depression. Like another poster said, there is no problem with English graduates going on to practice Law (in the unlikely event that you would actually want to) - maybe you could print off some careers information about pathways into Law in another attempt to persuade your mum to give you her blessing for the switch.
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ARealNowhereMan
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(Original post by That'sGreat)
If I go, there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
Immediately thought of this when i saw the post
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harrysbar
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(Original post by mkstudent)
Would you have to take an extra year? or will they let you switch into yr2?
I would expect someone switching from Law to English to have to start Year 1 again, since there would be virtually no overlap between the 2 courses at all.
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