Mum’s affair LinkedIn disaster Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
For some context: my mum has been having an affair with this guy for at least 5 years
My mum knows I know, he knows I know, my dad doesn’t know, his wife doesn’t know
Whether this affair is probably 80% still on (I have my suspicions) after confronting them both TWICE before (first time they said they would stop but then hey presto a year later I check my mum’s phone and breakdown again). She has changed her phone ps now so I can’t check and I’m so sick of fighting with her about it.

So basically- after a rather emotional argument with my mum about her phone usage (I was suspicious ok) my stupid self decided it would be a good idea to stalk this guy for the first time on LinkedIn (I clicked his page from google) but I didn’t realise my mum was LOGGED IN. Only afterwards did I realise that you can see who has viewed your profile. He had 500+ connections.

How stupid am I to have messed up the situation even more?
Should I tell my mum or do you think he won’t notice? What if they aren’t even together anymore and he confronts her about this omg could this get any worse?! If I do tell my mum she will understandably get v mad.

I can’t talk to anyone about what to do and I’m practically suffocating with the knowledge that I stirred this up even more.
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XOR_
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
For some context: my mum has been having an affair with this guy for at least 5 years
My mum knows I know, he knows I know, my dad doesn’t know, his wife doesn’t know
Whether this affair is probably 80% still on (I have my suspicions) after confronting them both TWICE before (first time they said they would stop but then hey presto a year later I check my mum’s phone and breakdown again). She has changed her phone ps now so I can’t check and I’m so sick of fighting with her about it.

So basically- after a rather emotional argument with my mum about her phone usage (I was suspicious ok) my stupid self decided it would be a good idea to stalk this guy for the first time on LinkedIn (I clicked his page from google) but I didn’t realise my mum was LOGGED IN. Only afterwards did I realise that you can see who has viewed your profile. He had 500+ connections.

How stupid am I to have messed up the situation even more?
Should I tell my mum or do you think he won’t notice? What if they aren’t even together anymore and he confronts her about this omg could this get any worse?! If I do tell my mum she will understandably get v mad.

I can’t talk to anyone about what to do and I’m practically suffocating with the knowledge that I stirred this up even more.
damn bro

I think he'll know - I get emails from LinkedIn (by default) saying so and so viewed your profile.

But really the blame kinda boils down to your Mum for having the affair in the first place, so my advice, just try to chill out about it because it is in no way messed up because of you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by XOR_)
damn bro

I think he'll know - I get emails from LinkedIn (by default) saying so and so viewed your profile.

But really the blame kinda boils down to your Mum for having the affair in the first place, so my advice, just try to chill out about it because it is in no way messed up because of you.
Thanks for your reply

Oh my god though. Since I have never used LinkedIn before I had no clue they would email you D: and with my luck my mum was even logged in on the desktop at home.

So you’re suggesting I just stay put and see how it plays out?
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XOR_
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your reply

Oh my god though. Since I have never used LinkedIn before I had no clue they would email you D: and with my luck my mum was even logged in on the desktop at home.

So you’re suggesting I just stay put and see how it plays out?
:yes:
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SerenaVioletear
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Omg dude
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DedicatedWizard
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There is a privacy setting where people don't see if you viewed their profile. I'm not sure it will help if he has seen it already but you never know...
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Spratty
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If you change the privacy setting to anonymous it may not show up to him if it's not too late.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DedicatedWizard)
There is a privacy setting where people don't see if you viewed their profile. I'm not sure it will help if he has seen it already but you never know...
(Original post by Spratty)
If you change the privacy setting to anonymous it may not show up to him if it's not too late.
I’ve changed the setting now but I doubt it will make much of a difference as I have just checked other forums which said even if you change to an anonymous user after you view their profile normally they will still be notified of who you are :ashamed2:

Thank you though!
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Umaurma
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Yikes I didn’t even know people would get notified either!
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StriderHort
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#10
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I'd probably just go with honesty.

"Why were you on this linked in account?"

"I was spying on you"

"Why?"

"You're untrustworthy with a history of deception, get mad if you think it will help"
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Umaurma)
Yikes I didn’t even know people would get notified either!
Yeah it sucks
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by StriderHort)
I'd probably just go with honesty.

"Why were you on this linked in account?"

"I was spying on you"

"Why?"

"You're untrustworthy with a history of deception, get mad if you think it will help"
I’ll be sure to say something along those lines if she asks me haha.

I didn’t even know his surname after such a long time until recently (after some v in depth browsing/stalking) otherwise I would’ve done this ages ago!
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ANM775
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
For some context: my mum has been having an affair with this guy for at least 5 years
My mum knows I know, he knows I know, my dad doesn’t know, his wife doesn’t know
Whether this affair is probably 80% still on (I have my suspicions) after confronting them both TWICE before (first time they said they would stop but then hey presto a year later I check my mum’s phone and breakdown again). She has changed her phone ps now so I can’t check and I’m so sick of fighting with her about it.

So basically- after a rather emotional argument with my mum about her phone usage (I was suspicious ok) my stupid self decided it would be a good idea to stalk this guy for the first time on LinkedIn (I clicked his page from google) but I didn’t realise my mum was LOGGED IN. Only afterwards did I realise that you can see who has viewed your profile. He had 500+ connections.

How stupid am I to have messed up the situation even more?
Should I tell my mum or do you think he won’t notice? What if they aren’t even together anymore and he confronts her about this omg could this get any worse?! If I do tell my mum she will understandably get v mad.

I can’t talk to anyone about what to do and I’m practically suffocating with the knowledge that I stirred this up even more.



what is wrong with you?

your mother is having an affair for 5+ years and you say nothing at all to your dad

looks like your father ended up with both an abysmal wife and a abysmal daughter
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Jasyy
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This is nasty overall your mum is horrible for cheating on your father for 5years!
But she should have never done it and i think karma should happen Good luck the divorce is gonna be messy
and i know its upsetting to see your parents relationship ending but sometimes it good and in this case it is good
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That'sGreat
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(Original post by DedicatedWizard)
There is a privacy setting where people don't see if you viewed their profile. I'm not sure it will help if he has seen it already but you never know...
Wow, why isn't this the default setting?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ANM775)
what is wrong with you?

your mother is having an affair for 5+ years and you say nothing at all to your dad

looks like your father ended up with both an abysmal wife and a abysmal daughter
Don’t think I don’t feel terrible for not telling my dad! the fact that his wife doesn’t know makes matters worse too. They have every right to know.
When I first discovered this I urged them to end it and I even called him! I thought it was just a one time thing that could just be overlooked and not worth a full blown divorce. I didn’t realise that they completely ignored everything I said (I was around 14 at the time) and just carried on. After confronting them for a second time, i don’t think I can trust either of them.
I’ve tried to urge my mum to confess to my dad but she kept dodging around the point (‘I’ll tell him one day...’). If my mum were to divorce my dad, she wouldn’t end up with him unless he also divorced. Given that he has two children, don’t you think the whole thing would be just too much?!
(Original post by Jasyy)
This is nasty overall your mum is horrible for cheating on your father for 5years!
But she should have never done it and i think karma should happen Good luck the divorce is gonna be messy
and i know its upsetting to see your parents relationship ending but sometimes it good and in this case it is good
Is it really worth breaking up two families for this?! Being 16 now, I think I’m mature enough but somehow it just doesn’t seem like it should be me who breaks the news my dad (I don’t have any concrete evidence since my mum a) won’t let me on her phone and b) deleted everything else I saw) or to his wife (who the last time I saw was when I went to ballet class with their daughters 7 years ago!).

I am appalled by how irresponsible they are but what can I really do about it with no proof of any of this let alone if it’s still ongoing now?
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bones-mccoy
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What a tough situation to be in. It'll be difficult without any concrete proof and if your mum has been deceiving your dad for this long she'll easily be able to worm her way out of it if you spill the beans. Your poor dad. The guy will get a notification you viewed his Linkedin but if he knows you know about the affair then it'll be no surprise - neither your mum or him can really take the moral high ground after what's been going on.

And you're right in that it shouldn't be you who tells your dad, that responsibility lies completely with your mum. Just a shame she doesn't have the balls to come clean.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
What a tough situation to be in. It'll be difficult without any concrete proof and if your mum has been deceiving your dad for this long she'll easily be able to worm her way out of it if you spill the beans. Your poor dad. The guy will get a notification you viewed his Linkedin but if he knows you know about the affair then it'll be no surprise - neither your mum or him can really take the moral high ground after what's been going on.

And you're right in that it shouldn't be you who tells your dad, that responsibility lies completely with your mum. Just a shame she doesn't have the balls to come clean.
I guess... thanks

I have just told her my of my late night stalking session and she was weirded out (but I did use the ‘do you really think you can judge me after what you have done’) but surprisingly chilled about it.
She said that they weren’t talking anymore but once again I don’t know what to believe since they’ve said the same before.
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ANM775
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
What a tough situation to be in. It'll be difficult without any concrete proof and if your mum has been deceiving your dad for this long she'll easily be able to worm her way out of it if you spill the beans. Your poor dad. The guy will get a notification you viewed his Linkedin but if he knows you know about the affair then it'll be no surprise - neither your mum or him can really take the moral high ground after what's been going on.

And you're right in that it shouldn't be you who tells your dad, that responsibility lies completely with your mum. Just a shame she doesn't have the balls to come clean.
All she needs to do is tape record one of the conversations she has with her mum

and considering just about every mobile phone has a voice recorder built in nowadays it shouldn't be hard at all
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ChickenMadness
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should have told your dad 5 years ago lol. You can still tell him today though.
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