How to get over a best friend break up? Watch

LizieM
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Ok I’m gonna try to keep it short. It’s not gonna flow well sorry.

We’ve been best friends for about 4 years and she was everything to me. We were so comfortable with each other and I have never laughed so hard in my life than with this girl (let’s call her Poppy).At the beginning of GCSEs (yr 10) we saw each other less because we had no lessons together and as time went on she became a lot closer to another girl (let’s call her Olivia) in our friendship group. (You should know that towards the end of yr 10 I started liking a guy (Christian) in my Maths). At the end of year 10 there was a languages trip that Poppy and I went on. In my group there were two girls, Poppy and I and Poppy’s crush. The entire week she walked with him and chatted with him which of course she is allowed to do. However I wouldn’t have been as putdown if I had someone else to talk to (there were other reasons why I didn’t). I got closer to Christian that week being forced to be on my own a lot of the time. I also noticed that week that Poppy was a bit of an attention seeker (tbh who isn’t) but this *irked* me.

Skip forward a bit to beginning of yr 11 >>> Poppy had started to meet up with Olivia all the time which obviously made me a little jelly. I had also been getting on well with Christian to the point where his parents invited me to a celebration they were having. For many detailed reasons that I cba to explain, I realised I didn’t like Christian but he still liked me and it became very awkward between us. I found the situation with him so stressful that as soon as maths finished I would hide in the loos until the next period was just about to begin. I would talk to Poppy about the problems with Christian all the time and she was very supportive. In tutor I began to notice that Poppy would always turn around and talk to our friends behind us rather than with me which is ok obviously but I was upset that she didn’t want to talk to me.

Then skip forward again >>>> basically she started liking Christian and vice verse which put me in a bit of an awkward situation. Then something happened between me and her about him. She began to go out with Christian and I felt like he was replacing me and my whole relationship with Poppy felt very one sided. We are civil with each other but man it hurts. It makes me so ****ing sad and I feel like I can’t tell her because there is no point. She doesn’t want to be my friend anyway and I can’t force that on her. I’m just upset that she threw away our friendship so easily.
Also my friendship group have said they too feel like since she has started dating him she has been distant. Olivia surprisingly felt this a lot too and we sorta bonded over it lol. However I think Olivia is still good friends with Poppy or at least more than she was letting on so I don’t even know what I can say to her about how I feel.

Anyway if you have got this far without getting bored of my drama then please help me get over her. She is a different person now and we are too far gone to save it. I just want to be happy because for a long time I’ve felt pretty crap.

Thank you
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chelseadagg3r
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(Original post by LizieM)
Ok I’m gonna try to keep it short. It’s not gonna flow well sorry.

We’ve been best friends for about 4 years and she was everything to me. We were so comfortable with each other and I have never laughed so hard in my life than with this girl (let’s call her Poppy).At the beginning of GCSEs (yr 10) we saw each other less because we had no lessons together and as time went on she became a lot closer to another girl (let’s call her Olivia) in our friendship group. (You should know that towards the end of yr 10 I started liking a guy (Christian) in my Maths). At the end of year 10 there was a languages trip that Poppy and I went on. In my group there were two girls, Poppy and I and Poppy’s crush. The entire week she walked with him and chatted with him which of course she is allowed to do. However I wouldn’t have been as putdown if I had someone else to talk to (there were other reasons why I didn’t). I got closer to Christian that week being forced to be on my own a lot of the time. I also noticed that week that Poppy was a bit of an attention seeker (tbh who isn’t) but this *irked* me.

Skip forward a bit to beginning of yr 11 >>> Poppy had started to meet up with Olivia all the time which obviously made me a little jelly. I had also been getting on well with Christian to the point where his parents invited me to a celebration they were having. For many detailed reasons that I cba to explain, I realised I didn’t like Christian but he still liked me and it became very awkward between us. I found the situation with him so stressful that as soon as maths finished I would hide in the loos until the next period was just about to begin. I would talk to Poppy about the problems with Christian all the time and she was very supportive. In tutor I began to notice that Poppy would always turn around and talk to our friends behind us rather than with me which is ok obviously but I was upset that she didn’t want to talk to me.

Then skip forward again >>>> basically she started liking Christian and vice verse which put me in a bit of an awkward situation. Then something happened between me and her about him. She began to go out with Christian and I felt like he was replacing me and my whole relationship with Poppy felt very one sided. We are civil with each other but man it hurts. It makes me so ****ing sad and I feel like I can’t tell her because there is no point. She doesn’t want to be my friend anyway and I can’t force that on her. I’m just upset that she threw away our friendship so easily.
Also my friendship group have said they too feel like since she has started dating him she has been distant. Olivia surprisingly felt this a lot too and we sorta bonded over it lol. However I think Olivia is still good friends with Poppy or at least more than she was letting on so I don’t even know what I can say to her about how I feel.

Anyway if you have got this far without getting bored of my drama then please help me get over her. She is a different person now and we are too far gone to save it. I just want to be happy because for a long time I’ve felt pretty crap.

Thank you
get to know the rest of your friendship circle more and hang out with them more. If you have a 'best friend' and rely on then too much for your social life and support then of course you're going to be upset when they begin to have more of a life outside of the two of you. Use this as an opportunity to get to know the people around you better and create stronger and deeper friendships
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KJEKJE Says Hi
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It seems like you've been feeling this way for quite some time. Does 'Poppy' know at all that you've been feeling this way? One thing that may help is if you two sit down and talk it out- tell her how you've been feeling and she what's her point of view. For all you know, she may not be realising that she is shutting you out because she's with 'Christian'. As this is also been said by the rest of your friend group, another thing you could do is mention to her that she has been acting distant or differently, and see how she responds. You can judge how invested she is in the friendship and make your decision from there. If it's not exactly the result you want, at least you'll have some closure by getting both points of view.

It's only a suggestion.

However if, as you say, she's too far gone, then as chelseadagg3r has said, it would be good to talk to the rest of your friend group and get to know them more. Friends look out for each other and help them when they're feeling blue. If 'Poppy' isn't taking the time to be a supportive friend to you, especially if you're feeling left out or saddened, then you shouldn't feel the need to invest all of your time with her. Invest that time to others who are warm, welcoming, and can reciprocate the same time and kindness back to you.

Friends come and go, grow up together and grow apart. You'll meet a lot of them, so keep smiling. ^^
Last edited by KJEKJE Says Hi; 1 month ago
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LizieM
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(Original post by chelseadagg3r)
get to know the rest of your friendship circle more and hang out with them more. If you have a 'best friend' and rely on then too much for your social life and support then of course you're going to be upset when they begin to have more of a life outside of the two of you. Use this as an opportunity to get to know the people around you better and create stronger and deeper friendships
Thank you for the advice
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LizieM
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(Original post by KJEKJE Says Hi)
It seems like you've been feeling this way for quite some time. Does 'Poppy' know at all that you've been feeling this way? One thing that may help is if you two sit down and talk it out- tell her how you've been feeling and she what's her point of view. For all you know, she may not be realising that she is shutting you out because she's with 'Christian'. As this is also been said by the rest of your friend group, another thing you could do is mention to her that she has been acting distant or differently, and see how she responds. You can judge how invested she is in the friendship and make your decision from there. If it's not exactly the result you want, at least you'll have some closure by getting both points of view.

It's only a suggestion.

However if, as you say, she's too far gone, then as chelseadagg3r has said, it would be good to talk to the rest of your friend group and get to know them more. Friends look out for each other and help them when they're feeling blue. If 'Poppy' isn't taking the time to be a supportive friend to you, especially if you're feeling left out or saddened, then you shouldn't feel the need to invest all of your time with her. Invest that time to others who are warm, welcoming, and can reciprocate the same time and kindness back to you.

Friends come and go, grow up together and grow apart. You'll meet a lot of them, so keep smiling. ^^
Thank you so much this is very helpful. I can look at it from another angle now
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