Do/did your parents pay for things for you after turning 18?

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lowrias
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Hi, I recently turned 18 and am currently having many arguments with my mum about whether she should help pay for things I need. I am in year 13 in sixth form and have a part-time job earning like £6.64 an hour and I only work 8 hours a week if that. I also have a car to run where I pay like £30 per week on petrol and also pay for my own tax and insurance in addition to any repairs it needs.

I am now in need of a passport renewal and as I’m 18 it will be £75.50. I have asked my mum to pay for it but she is adamant that because I’m an “adult” (still living at home and attending school) I should pay. As I buy my own clothes and order packages she believes that because I can afford to buy myself clothes I should be able to afford it? (Even though I buy clothes I need such as shorts for summer or new jeans and school shoes). So I was just wondering whether anyone else had experienced this or if they think I should be paying for literally everything because none of my friends parents seem to be the same as my mum😂
Last edited by lowrias; 1 year ago
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BlueIndigoViolet
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(Original post by lowrias)
Hi, I recently turned 18 and am currently having many arguments with my mum about whether she should help pay for things I need. I am in year 13 in sixth form and have a part-time job earning like £6.64 an hour and I only work 8 hours a week if that. I also have a car to run where I pay like £30 per week on petrol and also pay for my own tax and insurance in addition to any repairs it needs.

I am now in need of a passport renewal and as I’m 18 it will be £75.50. I have asked my mum to pay for it but she is adamant that because I’m an “adult” (still living at home and attending school) I should pay. As I buy my own clothes and order packages she believes that because I can afford to buy myself clothes I should be able to afford it? (Even though I buy clothes I need such as shorts for summer or new jeans and school shoes). So I was just wondering whether anyone else had experienced this or if they think I should be paying for literally everything because none of my friends parents seem to be the same as my mum😂
seems a bit much - independence is importance, but youre literally still at school, asking you to contribute maybe to the cost, but not outright leaving you to fend for yourself financially?
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Gent2324
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i had to start paying for everything when i was 15. sure it was annoying asf but after a while it helps you learn how to budget, save, and be independant in life. maybe start a side hustle or something to help?
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Notoriety
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Tube of Pringles every now and again.
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Zarek
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18, low income with own car. I spot some of the problem.
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lowrias
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What do you mean? I can afford the car. My mum doesn’t help there unlike many people of my age’s mums:/
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big_mood
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some parents do make their above-18 children support themselves more than before as you are technically an adult and should learn to become more independent. if you can afford to but clothes etc you could probably put money towards things as well.
HOWEVER
given you are still in sixth form, you are being paid pretty much minimum wage, you pay for everything with your car, and the clothes etc you do order are required, she should really step in and help financially if you need it. otherwise it’s a case of birds throwing their chicks out a nest and screaming fly before they’re physically able to
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username3890778
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no cos i have a job but obv still cook for me
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londonmyst
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My parents renewed my passport when I was 15, paid for my school fees and all household food/utility bills when I was 18.
Then swiped all my savings, told me I wouldn't need any student loans for uni and would be living at home for three years paying rent for my bedroom.
Final words were an inheritance ultimatum- obey or else.
As soon as my a levels were over, I packed my bags and scarpered.
No regrets, except I wish that my life savings and I had left together.
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Lala143
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Seems a bit cold-hearted but it's probably to help you gain independence. Well stop buying shorts/jeans etc and start saving like crazy until you can pay just don't steal.
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Joleee
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my parents didn't charge me rent while i was in school, otherwise i paid for my own stuff from the age of 16 (car, phone, food, etc).

why do you need a passport, are you going on vacation?
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username2837176
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Powerful statement this.
(Original post by londonmyst)
My parents renewed my passport when I was 15, paid for my school fees and all household food/utility bills when I was 18.
Then swiped all my savings, told me I wouldn't need any student loans for uni and would be living at home for three years paying rent for my bedroom.
Final words were an inheritance ultimatum- obey or else.
As soon as my a levels were over, I packed my bags and scarpered.
No regrets, except I wish that my life savings and I had left together.
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DrawTheLine
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Do you really need a car? Or could you use public transport or walk instead?

Unless your clothes are damaged or don't fit, you don't need to buy new clothes every season.

Draw up a budget so you can afford the passport yourself if your mum won't pay for it.
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chelseadagg3r
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Pretty much, yeah. Why do you need to get the passport right now? Couldn't you wait and save for it?
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nexttime
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Yes. With student loans structured as they are, its also what the government thinks.

But quibbling because you can't afford a passport when you can afford a car? Come on.
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Kinyonga
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Next time I need my passport renewed I think it's going to be me who's paying for it - but my parents pay for most of my clothing, and somethings which I can pass off as "educational" (i.e. books ). I suppose it partly depends on what you need your passport for, whether it's a family or solo trip?
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rainbowcolours1
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Although I get student loans for uni, if I ever need any additional money, my parents are happy to step in and support me. They offer to give me some money every now and then for uni.
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Callicious
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I'm at Uni and they still send me cash... I even get more than them. Arguing makes them mad :_:
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Nx23
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ngl im only 16 but financially my parents always support anything I want they'll get for me straight away, I've discussed doing a part time job, when I go college, with my parents n they refused and they said there's no need for me to. it's true that you can gain independency and try becoming stable on your own but I feel your mum should help you with things like passport renewals and stuff n you said that ur mum says that you buy clothes and get packages and stuff so u should be able to do your passport too but tbf you have to get clothes that's a necessity n just sit and talk to her about it calmly and she probably will help you x
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username3917068
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Yeah, but they also refuse to let me get a part-time job so I can't see any alternatives.

I personally don't know a single person who is not still dependent on their parents (financially at least) after turning 18. It seems a little cold-hearted to me tbh, and you seem very independent for your age already.
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