Loneliness is a killer Watch

AnxiousAtypical
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I don’t know how much longer I could take the with involuntary pain of loneliness I’ve been been coping with for my entire life all because girls never found me attractive or even had any romantic interest in me. It’s not self-pity, it’s fact.

I know I can’t force someone to be interested but if you been through a whole life of no one ever wanting to be with you then you understand. Girls just tend to be more picky then lads, so if you’re not a Love Island type of lad or a wannabe boyband member, then your chances are very slim.

I thrive on bitterness, anger and hatred, not because of girls but to anyone in my age that are in relationships. All my life since puberty I watched people get in and come out relationships like it’s never ending cycle, but there’s me still single because of them.
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Little Popcorns
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You’ll get there how old are you?
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CommanderKeen
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If loneliness was a killer, I would died long ago
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AnxiousAtypical
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(Original post by Little Popcorns)
You’ll get there how old are you?
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hello_shawn
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Happiness seems to be loneline.. (sic)
And loneliness killed your worl.?
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Max1989
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(Original post by CommanderKeen)
If loneliness was a killer, I would died long ago
It's a slow killer. Which makes it even worse as you have to deal with the pain for longer.
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CommanderKeen
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You get used to it. Working 70+ hours a week does the trick for me
(Original post by Max1989)
It's a slow killer. Which makes it even worse as you have to deal with the pain for longer.
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Max1989
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(Original post by CommanderKeen)
You get used to it. Working 70+ hours a week does the trick for me
Indeed I did get used to it, but it involved blocking out all emotion and feeling, simply being content is not good for the wellbeing, yes the best solution is to be busy so you do not have those thoughts, so good for you you managed to find that, 70 hours is a long time though.
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Little Popcorns
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(Original post by AnxiousAtypical)
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Now I agree at your age things start to feel more real like why haven’t I settled down but whilst the ones that settle down early advertise it that doesn’t mean everyone else dies lonely virgins they just split off and sort their lives out when they’re a bit more grown up and they don’t need to advertise it to all their school mates.

Join more stuff (social/sport/other hobbies) you’ll find someone in the end.
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AnxiousAtypical
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(Original post by Little Popcorns)
Now I agree at your age things start to feel more real like why haven’t I settled down but whilst the ones that settle down early advertise it that doesn’t mean everyone else dies lonely virgins they just split off and sort their lives out when they’re a bit more grown up and they don’t need to advertise it to all their school mates.

Join more stuff (social/sport/other hobbies) you’ll find someone in the end.
For years people been telling ‘don’t worry you find someone soon” or “your time will come soon”. It’s so patronising (not implying that you’re being patronising), it anything that answer is pretty helpful but how is it suppose to happen when no one ever found me attractive or ever had feelings for me?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by AnxiousAtypical)
For years people been telling ‘don’t worry you find someone soon” or “your time will come soon”. It’s so patronising (not implying that you’re being patronising), it anything that answer is pretty helpful but how is it suppose to happen when no one ever found me attractive or ever had feelings for me?
You are still pretty young, if you were say 20 years older then saying that no one has found you attractive would be correct, but you have only lived a quarter of your life, there's going to be someone out there for you. I'm 22 and haven't had anyone attracted to me, but I have hope that one day there will be someone, just got to keep trying. But I'm not you, but just pointing out you still have a long life ahead of you, hopes not lost.
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PROSZI
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(Original post by AnxiousAtypical)
For years people been telling ‘don’t worry you find someone soon” or “your time will come soon”. It’s so patronising (not implying that you’re being patronising), it anything that answer is pretty helpful but how is it suppose to happen when no one ever found me attractive or ever had feelings for me?
Trust me, there are a lot more people out there who are also single and never had any interaction with a girl in the past, even though they're at a respectable age to settle down. Thing is, you can't go around thinking that it's your fault, and you should never punish yourself over not being in a relationship or for being lonely. Maybe you just haven't found a girl yet who's worth it, even if you've never been in a relationship before, it's worth going out there and meeting new people, and eventually, you'll find someone. Loneliness is truly a negative emotion, but everyone feels like they're lonely time-to-time, otherwise, we wouldn't be humans, we all have feelings and that is exactly why nobody's perfect. Anyways, as I said earlier, you'll eventually find yourself a partner, just keep having hope
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AperfectBalance
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Well hopefully when you finally find someone you are compatible with you will have found a diamond among the coals, I dont particularly like many people either male or female, not due to me being shy or awkward but just due to me simply disliking a lot of people and there are very few women I would even want to date, but all you need to do is find one. But if that one is already taken or uninterested then the pain will just be worse.
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Callicious
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You might find some friends, or a wife, at some point in the future. Well, you might have friends, you never mentioned that... but yeah.

The best advice I can offer is like others have said: occupy your time and don't rely on other people for emotional comfort. You might get a touch cold, but that hasn't happened to me yet, and I live alone in a flat with no company. It's fun. You can go scare seagulls... take your telescope outside and look at stuff... cook.

Find things you enjoy and make life bearable, and through them, make life fun
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Nx23
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Ima be honest I'm not the best at this type of advice but trust me u'll find someone, there will be some out there for u. You just have to wait for the right time for it to happen ik it's long and it's tiring n upsetting to see other ppl Ur age n friends be in relationships but trust me when u do find that someone u'll be happier than ever. U said girls wouldnt like u if Ur not a love island type of guy but as a girl, personally I wouldn't go for guy that's like that as long as he's caring,loving , understand and has a nice personality that's more than enough n looks are just a bonus, it's true not all girls think alike, but u will find someone don't worry just wait for the right time X
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Little Popcorns
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(Original post by AnxiousAtypical)
For years people been telling ‘don’t worry you find someone soon” or “your time will come soon”. It’s so patronising (not implying that you’re being patronising), it anything that answer is pretty helpful but how is it suppose to happen when no one ever found me attractive or ever had feelings for me?
What do you think might be unattractive or unappealing about you in that case?
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AnxiousAtypical
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You are still pretty young, if you were say 20 years older then saying that no one has found you attractive would be correct, but you have only lived a quarter of your life, there's going to be someone out there for you. I'm 22 and haven't had anyone attracted to me, but I have hope that one day there will be someone, just got to keep trying. But I'm not you, but just pointing out you still have a long life ahead of you, hopes not lost.
Yeah, most people in age found their partner and lost their virginity between 14-19. If you’re over 20 then you’d get put on a shelf and you’re worthless to women.
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by AnxiousAtypical)
Yeah, most people in age found their partner and lost their virginity between 14-19. If you’re over 20 then you’d get put on a shelf and you’re worthless to women.
Now I am not having that. Not everyone loses virginitythat young and you are not on the shelf at 20.

Ok so you want to be less lonely. Sitting on your backside moaning will not help.

When I split up with my first husband, I was devastated. I have never felt so lonely. I was depressed, miserable, suicidal.

But, nothing will happen if you do nothing. After a metaphorical kick up the arse, I decided to reinvent myself. I took up new sports, dressed differently, went to places outside my comfort zone, went on holiday by myself and most importantly did internet dating. There are so many like minded and lonely people out there. I had an absolute ball...... met some weird ones, but also my current husband ( I say that like he will be disposable!). Try it.
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AnxiousAtypical
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(Original post by Little Popcorns)
What do you think might be unattractive or unappealing about you in that case?
Looks: Don’t fit the typical good looking guy that girls my age find attractive.

Personality: Shy, not confident, insecure you know not typical young MTV/Love Island type of lad.
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Toki the Dumdum
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(Original post by AnxiousAtypical)
For years people been telling ‘don’t worry you find someone soon” or “your time will come soon”. It’s so patronising (not implying that you’re being patronising), it anything that answer is pretty helpful but how is it suppose to happen when no one ever found me attractive or ever had feelings for me?
I've been in a similar situation to you OP and know the "you'll find someone eventually" line is infuriating. Arguably, it also encourages a level of passivity in the process that, for me altleast, was not the correct way to approach things.

A couple of things you've posted that are incorrect and that should be pointed out. In your OP you mention chances being small unless you're a "love island or boyband" type. This is wrong imo. The chances might be smaller in comparison but they cannot be described as slim. You also note "no one ever found me attractive or ever had feelings for me". How do you know this? You don't know what everyone's thoughts and feelings are?

Now I ask: Given the point you are at in your life and the cards you have been dealt, what are you actively doing to increase the chances that you meet/have a relationship with someone? If you are doing 'nothing', what do you think you could or should be doing to increase the chances?
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