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Divorce? i am confused

hey guys, i have been married for almost 1 year, i know not long and already thinking about divorce. The trouble is i dont know if i should get one or not. we argue all the time lately, and he can be soo stubborn and selfish sometimes, which is what annoys the hell out of me, and then we argue, and we alomst came to physical blows last week, it seems as though the situation is getting out of control and i dont know what to do. i love him i really do but we dont seem to get along any more, we argue all the time and he is away at the moment and we havnt spoken for two weeks, not that i havn't tried as i have, i have text him 3 times to see if he wants to work things out but i have heard nothing, so what am i supposed to do wait for him till he finds it convenient to get in touch, or should i just end it all now. i am supposed to go and visit him this weekend but i dont know whether to go or to get divorce papers. i am really really confused i do not know what is going on in his head and i dont know where our relationship is supposed to go from here. please if you can be of any help or have any advice, i need to hear it. thanks for your time. :frown:

Reply 1

SpiritedAway

17

marriage isn't meant to be easy. wait for him to get back, then have a talk to him. there might be a general reason why he is acting like this, maybe it is stress from work, and in which case he'll need your support more than anything.

Reply 2

fredscarecrow

18

Have you thought about councilling? Or maybe jsut talking to mutual friends ( though this is dodgy, because they may not want to get involved and thus take sides).

Personally I think divorce should be your last scenario, look into some kind of marriage guidance, they may have something to help you :smile:

Good luck.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

well thats another thing we have argued about i would like to talk to friends about our problems but he hates that i talk to other people, even though i told him that well who am i supposed to talk to if he wont talk to me reasonably and its a good way to let off steam about each other but at the moment i am pretending everything is fine people ask me how he is doing and i say great even though i dont know as i have not spoke to him for 2 weeks, it is making me depressed and really unhappy i feel like crying now

Reply 4

uthred50

16

I agree that divorce should only be the last option ("to love...through the good times and the bad til death do us part")
You do need to talk to him, and sort out your differences; perhaps this weekend would be ideal then. There always has to be compromises in any relationship because you are two different individual people. If he's being like that something's obviously been getting at/upsetting him, so you need to find out what i think before doing anything drastic like filing for divorce.

I know that is easier said than done, but i've heard of quite a few marriages that began to come into question after the 1st year or so, and it seems to be perhaps somewhat of a trend. You've gone from being relatively individual people to a married couple, and it does take time to adjust to this change, especially for younger couples.

Good luck, and i hope things work out ok.
uth =]

Reply 5

SpiritedAway

17

in all fairness though, i can understand this. although you want to get it out of your chest, maybe he feels that you're going around telling everyone else your relationship problems. he could also feel threatened by the fact that you can talk to other people about you problems and not him.

Reply 6

Spotty Dog

15

From your post, it seems to me that this relationship has suddenly taken a lurch into violence. (Correct me if I am wrong.)

In my opinion, no matter what, that always signals the end of anything to me. =/

Reply 7

uthred50

16

Spotty Dog

From your post, it seems to me that this relationship has suddenly taken a lurch into violence. (Correct me if I am wrong.)

In my opinion, no matter what, that always signals the end of anything to me. =/

No not always, but it is neccesary to find an alternative solution to violence. Words are much more effective than actions in this situation.

However, if he does hit you, leave. Don't get hurt and don't let either of you do anything else you will come to regrett :smile:

Regards, uth

Reply 8

alvin5

SpiritedAway

marriage isn't meant to be easy. wait for him to get back, then have a talk to him. there might be a general reason why he is acting like this, maybe it is stress from work, and in which case he'll need your support more than anything.

I agree with this 100%... it's only been a year, try and communicate like the adults you are. If that doesn't work, then consider divorce.

Reply 9

jinglepupskye

14

Do you have any suspicions that he may have someone else? If so it could be the arguments are being deliberately incited by him to get you to break up with him. He may be just too much of a coward to tell you to your face that he wants out.

My advice is to talk to someone who actually knows what they are talking about, rather than getting bts of headrsay from others. And you can get information regarding divorce on the internet.

Divorce? i am confused

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