Life advice I guess Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
Basically this is going to be kind of long just because I want to add context.
I used to be clever and got on really well at school ( always revised for exams, attendance was great, I was punctual and always did my homework etc)
Around the time I was 13 i started struggling with mental health. I didn’t get any professional help until about a year later when my social worker found out I was cutting myself. I started therapy but my illness just got worse.
When I was 16 I went into the hospital for the first time for my mental health and I struggled a lot during my GCSE’s because I was battling the onset of a personality disorder (BPD) whilst trying to revise etc. I ended up achieving all A’s and A*’s, which of course I am proud of but I know I could have achieved better if I hadn’t been struggling with my illness.
Come year twelve and it got worse. I was sectioned in November and spent a couple of weeks at the hospital and then with a foster career away from the city. When I got back they put me on meds with messed with my concentration and sleep ( and I know I was lazy) i struggle so much and it’s hard for me to accept that it’s because of my illness and my purely out of me being lazy or ungrateful or stupid. I ended year twelve with A, C and D in , English literature, biology and chemistry. It’s not because I struggle particularly with science ( I got A*’s in gcse chem and bio) but it’s just those require more work ( in my way of learning) so I ended up doing worst in them. I’ve always been naturally talented at English literature so I basically did no revision for it.
In year thirteen ( which is where I am now) I went into hospital again for my longest stay yet, which was a couple of weeks and I stayed in a psych ward. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and they started me on anti psychotics for my hallucinations and psychotic episodes. These literally knock me out ( I’m talking like you feel like you’ve taken morphine for a surgery or some **** lol) and they keep increasing the dose. I’ve struggled since February time which was when they put me on the meds.
I just don’t know what to do. I was thinking of not sitting my exams this year and just doing it next year but I wanted to take a gap year and travel. I just feel so personally disappointed in myself because I never imagined myself to be the kid who is failing and has to retake because I was so bright as a child.
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umbrellala
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#2
Report 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Basically this is going to be kind of long just because I want to add context.
I used to be clever and got on really well at school ( always revised for exams, attendance was great, I was punctual and always did my homework etc)
Around the time I was 13 i started struggling with mental health. I didn’t get any professional help until about a year later when my social worker found out I was cutting myself. I started therapy but my illness just got worse.
When I was 16 I went into the hospital for the first time for my mental health and I struggled a lot during my GCSE’s because I was battling the onset of a personality disorder (BPD) whilst trying to revise etc. I ended up achieving all A’s and A*’s, which of course I am proud of but I know I could have achieved better if I hadn’t been struggling with my illness.
Come year twelve and it got worse. I was sectioned in November and spent a couple of weeks at the hospital and then with a foster career away from the city. When I got back they put me on meds with messed with my concentration and sleep ( and I know I was lazy) i struggle so much and it’s hard for me to accept that it’s because of my illness and my purely out of me being lazy or ungrateful or stupid. I ended year twelve with A, C and D in , English literature, biology and chemistry. It’s not because I struggle particularly with science ( I got A*’s in gcse chem and bio) but it’s just those require more work ( in my way of learning) so I ended up doing worst in them. I’ve always been naturally talented at English literature so I basically did no revision for it.
In year thirteen ( which is where I am now) I went into hospital again for my longest stay yet, which was a couple of weeks and I stayed in a psych ward. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and they started me on anti psychotics for my hallucinations and psychotic episodes. These literally knock me out ( I’m talking like you feel like you’ve taken morphine for a surgery or some **** lol) and they keep increasing the dose. I’ve struggled since February time which was when they put me on the meds.
I just don’t know what to do. I was thinking of not sitting my exams this year and just doing it next year but I wanted to take a gap year and travel. I just feel so personally disappointed in myself because I never imagined myself to be the kid who is failing and has to retake because I was so bright as a child.
You can still take a gap year even if you take your exams next year! Honestly the priority should always be your health, and if worrying about exams is making your mental health worse then it's a no-brainer. I know it's easier said than done, but don't let your exam results dictate how you think of your own intelligence. Exams don't really tell anyone anything other than how good your memory is and your ability to work under pressure. You are still bright, it's just that everyone makes us focus on exam results so much that you don't notice your own intelligence in everything else you do. Maybe have a conversation with your head of sixth form/exams officer about your options and see what's available to you, then make a decision. I hope it works out!
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