Always working around my best friend Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
Hi, I was just wondering whether you could help me with something that has been happening between me and my best friend lately.
For one I don’t feel like we are proper best friends because we don’t do you things best friend do like go out together or take cute selfies and post them over insta. Most people think she’s still best friends with her old friend who left her and ask about them in front of me .

She always says she will stick up for me and when it comes to it doesn’t or is like don’t start today she’s is in a bad mood and will kill you you as a joke as she wants to always look like the good person. One time I stood up for her and the same day two people were horrible and she walked past laughing . After I confronted her how much they upset me she said I didn’t realise how sad it made me. The only reason I was really sad was because she never stuck up for me.

I love her to bits but she is starting to sound like she doesn’t care when I’m upset. She also had an argument without other friends and I left with her cause we are besties meaning I only have her. I am ok with that but the problem is she is always off school at the doctors for random things for example the last time was back ache. I don’t blame her for this but it just means I am left by myself all the time and I don’t mean like 4 times a year I mean like 20-30 times a term.

I don’t want to give up on this friendship but it is really draining and I want her to do things with me that best friends do and be there for me like I am for her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Thanks in advance x
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mgi
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#2
Report 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, I was just wondering whether you could help me with something that has been happening between me and my best friend lately.
For one I don’t feel like we are proper best friends because we don’t do you things best friend do like go out together or take cute selfies and post them over insta. Most people think she’s still best friends with her old friend who left her and ask about them in front of me .

She always says she will stick up for me and when it comes to it doesn’t or is like don’t start today she’s is in a bad mood and will kill you you as a joke as she wants to always look like the good person. One time I stood up for her and the same day two people were horrible and she walked past laughing . After I confronted her how much they upset me she said I didn’t realise how sad it made me. The only reason I was really sad was because she never stuck up for me.

I love her to bits but she is starting to sound like she doesn’t care when I’m upset. She also had an argument without other friends and I left with her cause we are besties meaning I only have her. I am ok with that but the problem is she is always off school at the doctors for random things for example the last time was back ache. I don’t blame her for this but it just means I am left by myself all the time and I don’t mean like 4 times a year I mean like 20-30 times a term.

I don’t want to give up on this friendship but it is really draining and I want her to do things with me that best friends do and be there for me like I am for her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Thanks in advance x
The truth is that she is not that concerned about you or your feelings. She just wants you as a convenience at certain times and you, tbh, don't have any boundaries with her and you put all your energy into just one so called friendship! She is not your best friend and she sounds like she has found a clever way to bunk off school when she wants. Your problem is that you are not boundaried with her and also you have not bothered to make more friends! Why not ? Give this so called friend if yours much less of your time and get busy making other friends!
Last edited by mgi; 3 weeks ago
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AvoLife
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Please correct me if I'm wrong but I feel like you might depend on her too much? No one needs to be restricted to just a "best friend", people ideally should have a circle of close friends who will always support each other. I know that she had an argument with other friends, but surely you are not her one and only friend? If so I think you should talk to her about it and remind her of the good times that you guys have had in your friendship, and let her know that if she really is relying on you because she has had an argument with everyone else, she should treat you better since you seem to always be there for her. Though it sounds like you don't really know if she cares about you or not, you're just suspecting that she doesn't? Bring that up, and see what she says.
Hope this helps, and wish you the best of luck with it all!
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, I was just wondering whether you could help me with something that has been happening between me and my best friend lately.
For one I don’t feel like we are proper best friends because we don’t do you things best friend do like go out together or take cute selfies and post them over insta. Most people think she’s still best friends with her old friend who left her and ask about them in front of me .

She always says she will stick up for me and when it comes to it doesn’t or is like don’t start today she’s is in a bad mood and will kill you you as a joke as she wants to always look like the good person. One time I stood up for her and the same day two people were horrible and she walked past laughing . After I confronted her how much they upset me she said I didn’t realise how sad it made me. The only reason I was really sad was because she never stuck up for me.

I love her to bits but she is starting to sound like she doesn’t care when I’m upset. She also had an argument without other friends and I left with her cause we are besties meaning I only have her. I am ok with that but the problem is she is always off school at the doctors for random things for example the last time was back ache. I don’t blame her for this but it just means I am left by myself all the time and I don’t mean like 4 times a year I mean like 20-30 times a term.

I don’t want to give up on this friendship but it is really draining and I want her to do things with me that best friends do and be there for me like I am for her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Thanks in advance x
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claddagh <3
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this is exactly what is happening with me. It might not work for some people and might be very effective for others. Just give it a shot .
Basically what I did was start becoming friends, or close friends (or even best friends) with other people and do stuff with them that 'typical best friends' do like go out together and take pictures together. Still be friends with this girl but only put as much effort into your friendship as she does and the friendship will go two ways. She will either realize whats happening and become more interested in your friendship (if this does happen still be close with those other friends just in case she does have frequent hospital visits still and you need someone to be with), or she will start drifting away from you or end your friendship. If that does happen then don't stress because you've got other great friends who'll have your back. After a while, she might come back (probably jealous of your new friendships) and ask to be really close again like you 'used' to be you can either just give her sass, or just tell her you don't want fake and toxic friends like her in your life again.
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