Living in a flat with a creepy friend... HELP Watch

Jay2610
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
I have this friend who I'm supposed to be living in a flat with next year but he makes me really uncomfortable.
After 2 weeks of me first meeting him, he said he liked me and I said that it was too soon. A week later he told me again. I told him I still wasn't sure. A week after that he told me again and it put me off so I told him I wasn't interested and that was that.
Fast forward a few months and we're hanging out as normal and I thought we were past it all. After all he'd only liked me a few weeks. I considered him a very close friend and decided to live with him in a flat next year. A few days after we confirmed booking the rooms, he told me he liked me again and it made me feel really weird bc he'd booked the room to live with me fully knowing that he still had a crush on me that I wasn't aware about.
He's also done other stuff like cried when we spent 5 days apart from seeing each other as just us two (we'd still seen each other within the 5 days, just with other friends) and more recently I let him stay in my flat. When I told him that he was sleeping on the couch, he kept insisting to sleep on the floor in my room even when I told him no.
I spoke to my other flatmate who I will be living with next year about it because I no longer wanted to live in the flat with him and I was going to cancel my room. However, she's on about kicking him out of the flat and letting me stay and I'm worried about his reaction when he finds out that I've basically been talking about him behind his back and getting him kicked out of his flat for next year. What do I do?
0
reply
Andreaa.x11x
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#2
Report 3 weeks ago
#2
Dude you should’ve been straight with him from the beginning, but I suppose you can’t help his feelings. Being completely honest with him from here on may help, as well as not pushing any boundaries.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
hallahoop
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#3
Report 3 weeks ago
#3
His behaviour is completely unacceptable - it's fine to have a crush on someone but his actions imply that he doesn't have any respect for your boundaries and won't take no for an answer (two massive red flags). You definitely shouldn't live with him.

Regarding what to do, either way he's probably going to realise that you don't want to live with him so it's probably better to be open and just message him to explain that you don't think it's a good idea for you to flatshare. If you really want to live with your other friend then you need to be sure that she'll have your back if there's any confrontation. Otherwise, it's probably best to just find another flat.

If you're at uni, maybe talk to student welfare about any concerns you have - if things escalate it's good to have a record of your concerns and to know where to turn for help.
(Original post by Jay2610)
I have this friend who I'm supposed to be living in a flat with next year but he makes me really uncomfortable.
After 2 weeks of me first meeting him, he said he liked me and I said that it was too soon. A week later he told me again. I told him I still wasn't sure. A week after that he told me again and it put me off so I told him I wasn't interested and that was that.
Fast forward a few months and we're hanging out as normal and I thought we were past it all. After all he'd only liked me a few weeks. I considered him a very close friend and decided to live with him in a flat next year. A few days after we confirmed booking the rooms, he told me he liked me again and it made me feel really weird bc he'd booked the room to live with me fully knowing that he still had a crush on me that I wasn't aware about.
He's also done other stuff like cried when we spent 5 days apart from seeing each other as just us two (we'd still seen each other within the 5 days, just with other friends) and more recently I let him stay in my flat. When I told him that he was sleeping on the couch, he kept insisting to sleep on the floor in my room even when I told him no.
I spoke to my other flatmate who I will be living with next year about it because I no longer wanted to live in the flat with him and I was going to cancel my room. However, she's on about kicking him out of the flat and letting me stay and I'm worried about his reaction when he finds out that I've basically been talking about him behind his back and getting him kicked out of his flat for next year. What do I do?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report 3 weeks ago
#4
So many alarm bells. Whatever you do, don't move in - do yourself a favour.
(Original post by Jay2610)
I have this friend who I'm supposed to be living in a flat with next year but he makes me really uncomfortable.
After 2 weeks of me first meeting him, he said he liked me and I said that it was too soon. A week later he told me again. I told him I still wasn't sure. A week after that he told me again and it put me off so I told him I wasn't interested and that was that.
Fast forward a few months and we're hanging out as normal and I thought we were past it all. After all he'd only liked me a few weeks. I considered him a very close friend and decided to live with him in a flat next year. A few days after we confirmed booking the rooms, he told me he liked me again and it made me feel really weird bc he'd booked the room to live with me fully knowing that he still had a crush on me that I wasn't aware about.
He's also done other stuff like cried when we spent 5 days apart from seeing each other as just us two (we'd still seen each other within the 5 days, just with other friends) and more recently I let him stay in my flat. When I told him that he was sleeping on the couch, he kept insisting to sleep on the floor in my room even when I told him no.
I spoke to my other flatmate who I will be living with next year about it because I no longer wanted to live in the flat with him and I was going to cancel my room. However, she's on about kicking him out of the flat and letting me stay and I'm worried about his reaction when he finds out that I've basically been talking about him behind his back and getting him kicked out of his flat for next year. What do I do?
2
reply
doodle_333
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#5
Report 3 weeks ago
#5
Make sure you're being straight with him. You say you said you weren't interested romantically but then became super close and hang out alone... sounds like he may have thought he had a chance, it also sounds like he's pushing and manipulating you into some of that closeness which is worrying. It will ruin your friendship to kick him out but it's not in reasonable if he's continuing to pursue you romantically.
0
reply
Arisapo
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#6
Report 3 weeks ago
#6
He probably thought that by you being really close to him and becoming friends that you had interest in him and believed he had a chance.

I wouldn’t move in with him. I’d feel uncomfortable if I were you knowing his feelings and persistence and the fact he’s asked 4 times and still been rejected isn’t a good sign.

I’d try and get him to move out like your friend suggested and if he refuses, you should probably try and find somewhere else.
1
reply
Angle.Ox
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#7
Report 3 weeks ago
#7
be even creepier than him, to reassert dominance
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#8
Report 3 weeks ago
#8
Are you both males?
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#9
Report 3 weeks ago
#9
I would just move out and go live with other people.
If you move into that flat and try to kick him out, he might try to get back in or get revenge against you or wait outside everyday for you. You said he’s creepy. Why would you still live somewhere that he knows where to go to? Do you think he’d give up that easily?
Please think about your own safety and live with some other people far away.
0
reply
bones-mccoy
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#10
Report 3 weeks ago
#10
Insisting to sleep on your bedroom floor rather than the sofa is disrespectful. I'd be straight up as you can be - sit him down and explain that whilst you like being friends you can't share a house with him as his behaviour makes you uncomfortable. It would be best for him as well cause then he'd be able to get over you and move on, something he'd struggle with if you were in the room next door. Potentially hurting his feeling is not worth feeling awkward and uncomfortable in your own home.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

University open days

  • Solent University
    Postgraduate and Professional Open Evenings Postgraduate
    Mon, 20 May '19
  • London Metropolitan University
    Postgraduate Mini Open Evening - Holloway Campus Undergraduate
    Tue, 21 May '19
  • Brunel University London
    Postgraduate Open Evening Postgraduate
    Wed, 22 May '19

How has 2019 been so far?

Amazing!!! (38)
5.72%
Fairly positive (217)
32.68%
Just another year... (263)
39.61%
Is it 2020 yet? (146)
21.99%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise