The Student Room Group

Do you agree?

"Many people will tell you to go no contact and block him to move on with your life. I tried that but found it was wrong to do so. Instead l decided to keep watching and observing every little detail no matter how uncomfortable or painful. Why? Because this is the only way you'll become stronger while being able to look him in the eye and hold him accountable for his every crime against you. Every single one.

Please read that again. Its important.

If you block him and avoid everything, he will not only escape scot free, but you will spend a lifetime where a fake peace and happiness depends on hiding from him. That will weaken you immeasurably."
I disagree. It takes strength to accept a situation and rise above it. It takes courage to make the decision someone isn’t worth being in your life anymore. It doesn’t weaken you, quite the opposite! It reinstalls confidence in yourself, that you have control who gets to be in your life and who doesn’t. You CHOSE to walk away from something, because you value yourself worth. That doesn’t mean they get away with it, usually people realise how much they messed up when you’re gone!

How does watching their every detail help? How does it make you stronger? You’re not even strong enough to let go. You put yourself through misery in hope that it might hurt them a bit? Imagine they don’t even care, it’s your time and feelings you wasted. Live for yourself, not trying to make someone else feel a type of way. Life is too short to waste time with these kind of motives lol. Dunno about you, but I’ve gotta better things to do 😂😂😂
Reply 2
I sort of agree, kind of like forgive but never forget (though the forgive part is hardly ever essential). You can’t just move past an issue by ignoring it or sweeping it under the carpet otherwise you’ll end up tripping over a massive pile of rubbish that that is not so well hidden beneath said carpet.
Reply 3
Great analogy; never thought about it in that way
Original post by Corps
I sort of agree, kind of like forgive but never forget (though the forgive part is hardly ever essential). You can’t just move past an issue by ignoring it or sweeping it under the carpet otherwise you’ll end up tripping over a massive pile of rubbish that that is not so well hidden beneath said carpet.
Blocking them doesn't mean they're getting off "scot free", it means you're moving on with your life and not letting them affect you. Checking up on them means you're not letting go and their actions are still going to upset you. Why you'd put yourself through even more pain for the sake of not being ~weak~ doesn't make sense. If anything, not caring makes you stronger. You can now live your life without obsessing over a person who doesn't care about you anymore. Why waste your time concerning yourself with someone who means nothing?
Original post by Anonymous
"Many people will tell you to go no contact and block him to move on with your life. I tried that but found it was wrong to do so. Instead l decided to keep watching and observing every little detail no matter how uncomfortable or painful. Why? Because this is the only way you'll become stronger while being able to look him in the eye and hold him accountable for his every crime against you. Every single one.

Please read that again. Its important.

If you block him and avoid everything, he will not only escape scot free, but you will spend a lifetime where a fake peace and happiness depends on hiding from him. That will weaken you immeasurably."

So the person you've quoted prefers to stalk their ex instead of moving on with their life? Yeah, I disagree.

Blocking them means you can move on without them and let them go, and be happy without them. If you start stalking them instead not only is that incredibly creepy but it's hardly allowing your feelings to disappear if you're constantly watching them and finding out what is going on in their life.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Great analogy; never thought about it in that way


But at the same time, watching all of their stories and stuff isn’t really going to affect whether or not they get off Scot free, I just reckon that refusing to accept they exist anymore probably isn’t a great idea.
It has to be block and no contact if you are going to heal and move on.

If you stay in touch in any way you are just continuing to feed the monster.

Cut the strings, get your life and mind back into a healthy place again and simply move on....

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