My cousin frustrates me Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
This is something that now grates on me every day.

I am 27 years old, and have a cousin that is 24, let's call her Emma. Without wanting to sound like I'm bragging, a lot of my family members including my other cousins (not Emma) tell me I'm the prettiest and most intelligent out of the cousins. I do remain humble though.
I'm the only one that moved away for university, and studied a prestigious degree at a RG, but it wasn't necessarily one that led straight in to a career. Eventually I decided to go in to teaching.

Emma was initially set on opening up her own business, but then suddenly - coincidentally when I started on my PGCE - she also decided to apply for a PGCE, which she is now studying. I helped her with the application but got very little thanks, and she decided to apply for the very same uni I went to... she didn't get in but lied about this and claimed that she did but she rejected them (I found out otherwise from my course tutors). She did get in somewhere else and seems happy. I think it infuriates me a bit because she and her family have always copied our family with everything (cars, clothes, and now careers). Her mum apparently would always wish bad on me because of my intelligence, but now that me and her daughter are going in to the same career she probably feels we have the same level of intelligence.

I wouldn't mind this too much if we actually got on, but we are very different as I'm always told that I'm soft natured and kind whereas she has quite a harsh personality and is very assertive. Although she is 3 years younger than me she acts as though she is older and often makes catty remarks. She's always had problems with acne and has had trouble losing weight, and sometimes she makes comments about my skin and weight like 'ugh you never need to worry...' and I notice that her mum ALWAYS checks out my skin and my figure. Emma has pretty much been looking to get married since she was 21 but hasn't been successful... at one point her mum kept telling us that she gets a lot of interest from guys, but I just think if that was the case surely she'd be with someone by now. They tend to lie a lot. At one point she would go round telling people she wants to marry someone with lots of money and muscles but has lowered her standards a bit recently as now she just wants a good guy having not been successful in her initial search.
Whilst I'm in a very happy relationship I haven't been able to tell my extended family and I just know that once they get an inkling of the man I'm with they're just going to get jealous and simply wish bad on me.

I don't know if I'm being silly but I think about her a lot, and just wish that we weren't related so I wouldn't have to deal with her negative energy. I feel anxious before seeing her and her family as they just think they are so superior to everyone and have their noses in the air.
How can I get over this?!
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Grizwuld
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#2
Report 4 weeks ago
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Sibling rivalry?

Your an adult now. Just because she's family you don't have to like her, you don't have to see her or her mother or family. Just let these feelings go and get on with your own life. Be proud be strong.
Last edited by Grizwuld; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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Thanks for your reply... I wish it was that easy but we see each other very often at family events and then I start to think about it all over again
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Anonymous #1
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Xarao
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I'm not sure what the problem here is?

She's copying everything you do, so what? Live your life as you want it, she'll eventually mature up or decide it's not for her, and even if it is what she wants to do, good on her!
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bones-mccoy
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She's insecure and it's showing. Concentrate on your life and being your own person, rivalries in families are quite common but all this situation shows is that you are the bigger person. Wishing bad on someone just because they're prettier or skinnier or more successful than you is just childish. Hopefully one day your cousin will mature and realise that she also has good points about herself and that comparing herself to you all the time isn't constructive. For now I'd ignore any catty remarks - if your cousin tries to turn things into a competition, don't rise to it.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 3 weeks ago
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