What mark do you think this higher english essay will get for Romeo and Juliet Watch

mogmeg
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Sorry if people are unable to do this but I seen someone ask this before, granted it was 9 years ago but my teacher takes forever to mark and I would really just prefer feedback as soon as possible as my exam is in 2 weeks!!!!!
My question is from the 2015 past paper btw,

Choose a play in which there is a scene involving a moment of conflict or of resolution to conflict. By referring to details of the scene, explain how the dramatist presents this moment and discuss how this contributes to your appreciation of the play as a whole.

Dramatists commonly use the technique of a key scene to develop themes and characters, acting as a turning point in the overall plot. This is particularly shown in William Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo and Juliet’. In this play two teenagers, destined to be enemies, meet and instantly fall in love with one another despite their surnames. The key scene in this play is Act 3 Scene 1, when Romeo is faced with a decision to avenge his best friend Mercutio who was killed by Juliet’s cousin, Tybalt. Consequently, the lovers’ story concludes with their deaths as Romeo played into fates hands by rising to the challenge, thus this key scene also explores and strongly develops the theme of fate.

In Act 3 Scene 1, Romeo tries incredibly hard to avoid Tybalt who is trying to provoke him into a fight due to his attendance at the Capulet ball. This is prior to the conflict as Romeo is trying to protect his recent marriage to Juliet and does not want to harm her in any way.
“I do protest I never injuried thee,
But love thee better than thou canst devise”
Romeo tries to avoid a conflict as much as possible as he truly loves Juliet and would do nothing to harm her. This characterisation show Romeo as a caring and loyal person as even although he was brought up to hate all Capulets, he does not take his chance to fight and possibly kill Tybalt. It also establishes Romeo’s new found love for Tybalt as it is very similar to a phrase he expresses to Juliet in Act 2 Scene 2 as he expresses his love to her on the balcony,
“It is my lady, O it is my love:
O that she knew she were!”
Love is trying to overpower Romeo and guide the decisions he makes, taking a different path than fate wants to pursue. Romeo loves the only thing he was meant to hate, this displays how strong the theme of fate is as even though Romeo is persistent in his views to avoid a brawl and pursue a happy life with Juliet it will never happen as all of his decisions will lead him back to their eventual death. This enhances the importance of the moment of conflict in the future as fate controls all and in reality, although Romeo may try to avoid it, the brawl is indefinite and unavoidable, even more powerful than the force of love that brought the lovers together.

As the play reaches the climax, Romeo’s character changes as he takes his revenge on Tybalt as his best friend Mercutio has just been killed. In a flight of rage he expresses his anger in a sudden change of attitude towards the situation,
“Away to heaven, respective lenity,
And fire-ey’d fury be my conduct now!”
Romeo’s previous characterisation is still true as he remains loyal to Mercutio but has now disregarded his love for Juliet and the consequences this may bring as he initiates the conflict with Tybalt. Romeo tried his method of being respectful and lenient but now as he seeks vengeance, he also plays into fates hands and impulsively decides the future for him and his lover. This shows the power of fate in the play as despite Romeo’s complete reluctance to obey his family and what he was brought up to do, fate still steers him onto the path of death for both him and Juliet.

Fate quickly catches up with the two lovers as Juliet fakes her own death to avoid an unwanted marriage and find Romeo who was banished to Mantua due to his outburst of violence. As Romeo finds Juliet, he presumes she is dead and is quick to join her so they can pursue a life together after death.
“Here’s to my love! O true apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.”
Romeo is consistent with his loyalty as he decides a life without Juliet is a life he would not want to live. His impulsiveness to fight Tybalt has caused the one thing he cared about to die and he is not at all hesitant to accept his fate and lie with her for eternity, completely unaware of his lovers true circumstances. As Juliet wakes up, she finds Romeo’s dead body beside her and also makes her decision to accept fate,
“O happy dagger,
This is thy sheath; There rust and let me die.”
Juliet too feels life is unworthy without Romeo and cannot bear to be without him no matter how hard she is convinced. Much as Romeo was set in his ways to avoid a fight with Tybalt, so too is Juliet adamant that this will be her last moment alive, only this time the theme of fate has control over Juliet’s decision and will allow her to be with Romeo. Thus the main characters’ deaths occur due to Romeos moment of conflict in Act 3 Scene 1 as his banishment spiralled into a sleeping draught and their inevitable death that was exposed to us in the prologue.

As the play reaches its sad conclusion, the deaths of Romeo and Juliet are announced to their families, putting a final end to the feud that caused their tragic ends as they tried to pursue their love.
“O brother Montague, give me thy hand.
This is my daughter’s jointure, for no more
Can I demand.”
Capulet is offering a final peace between their two families, as he gives Montague Juliet’s dowry, that her husband would have had when they married. Thus bringing an end to their long going family feud. Through the death of their children they bring peace to Verona and their families as they embrace what Romeo and Juliet were never able to have. Therefore, although Romeos decision to fight Tybalt did end in their unfortunate death, both of the lovers were still able to continue their love in heaven and a solution to possible deaths and brawls in the future was established between the families.

Therefore in ‘Romeo and Juliet’ by William Shakespeare, the climax of the play is a key scene involving a conflict between two characters from feuding families is effecting in influencing future events for not only Romeo and Tybalt, but also Juliet as their lives all come to an eventual end. The decision also brings the end to the family feud and brings peace to Verona. This enhances my appreciation to the play as a whole because the characters stay loyal to each other as they follow their unfortunate path to their fate and never fail to stay true to one another which benefits the whole of Verona in the future.
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Pravi29
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Hi! Sorry this is late - I've also got my GCSEs in two days and I'm not particularly good at English but although your essay is quite good, the quotations are not embedded. Also, perhaps more language and drama analysis.
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mogmeg
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thanks for your response but i have already taken my exam ahah and thankfully this did not come up! i’m sure you’ll do great in english and any help you need feel free to ask me. although higher is supposed to be harder than GCSE it might allow a bigger depth/knowledge. good luck regardless!!
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Quick-use
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(Original post by mogmeg)
thanks for your response but i have already taken my exam ahah and thankfully this did not come up! i’m sure you’ll do great in english and any help you need feel free to ask me. although higher is supposed to be harder than GCSE it might allow a bigger depth/knowledge. good luck regardless!!
Are you referring to Scottish Highers?
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Pravi29
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Oh, thank! And really sorry, I didn't see the thread until yesterday!
(Original post by mogmeg)
thanks for your response but i have already taken my exam ahah and thankfully this did not come up! i’m sure you’ll do great in english and any help you need feel free to ask me. although higher is supposed to be harder than GCSE it might allow a bigger depth/knowledge. good luck regardless!!
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mogmeg
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(Original post by Quick-use)
Are you referring to Scottish Highers?
yes
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