I think I'm in love...

Hello, please don't de-anon, as the person I'm referring to uses TSR.

disclaimer: you might get bored .. so brace yourselves

Okay well I met this girl, same age as me, 18, on msn via a friend of mine who knew her from his old secondary school, which is 90 minutes away from where he lives now.

So me and her get talking, at first it didn't feel like we had much in common or much to talk about but then we started actively going on webcam to each other, and it was nice and a laugh, whatnot ... then we just ended up just chatting casually, and we got on really well.

Anyway I don't want to bore you with details, but fast foward a few months later. Okay so we're now talking everyday for a good few hours. At this point I should add she has a boyfriend who she's been with for the last 2 years. So at this stage we're flirting and have a joke, and I think I'm having feelings towards her ... so I tell her, she replies that she feels the same.. I don't know if she meant it or whether it was recipricol attraction but anyway from then on, we exchanged phone numbers, and she'd be texting me all the time, and chatting on the phone for hours in the middle of the night.

So now I'm really taking a liking to her for the worse though, because for one she has a boyfriend who shes pretty contempt with and even told me she'd consider marrying him later on in life, and two she lives a great deal further away from me. So I try to suppress these feelings, I even met a different girl playing pool at my local table, and me and her started going out but as soon as I tell her about this girl im going out with, shes all upset. I'm asking her whats the matter, and she confesses she's jealous of her, and it makes her feel bad im with someone else, and that she feels bad for feeling that way as it is completely selfish. I could understand, as I started to draw feelings of jealousy towards her boyfriend.

I got to the point thinking, this'll never happen with this girl .. So I try to ignore her, and just act a little bit less nice to her, so sort of "get over" her, so I wouldn't feel so attached to her ... but everytime, even subtly she notices, and asks me whats wrong, and starts crying because she cannot see any reason for my actions, and I always feel bad and tell her sorry and start back off at square one.

Anyway I really don't know what to do, she wants me to meet up with her in the summer, but I'm not sure what the benefit will be ... I'd probably end up liking her even more, and that'd put me in a bigger hole than I started with.

I'm just really confused what to do about this.

thanks patient reader(s)