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Social anxiety and avoiding isolation

How can I prevent myself from becoming isolated when I (hopefully) get to Oxford?

All of my life so far I have attended schools where people are completely disinterested in anything to do with learning outside of school, and now that I finally have the oppurtunity, I have no ****ing clue how to interact with them.

I just want to be able to make a few actual friends and to be able to interact with people without my legs sweating and paranoia

Please dont tell me to just attend societies, I might have already thought of that
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3121
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pretty sure most people at oxford would also be socially anxious, you're not the only person with those issues. To be that smart and nerdy you need a certain degree of no social life. You'll be among your type, its literally all in your head. Your thoughts control your body and your reality, its your choice to change it through getting support and gaining positive experiences. It's not a disease or something you can't handle.
Original post by throw2746
How can I prevent myself from becoming isolated when I (hopefully) get to Oxford?

All of my life so far I have attended schools where people are completely disinterested in anything to do with learning outside of school, and now that I finally have the oppurtunity, I have no ****ing clue how to interact with them.

I just want to be able to make a few actual friends and to be able to interact with people without my legs sweating and paranoia

Please dont tell me to just attend societies, I might have already thought of that

Obviously, one of the special features of Oxford is the collegiate system. It means you are part of a much smaller social unit than at most other unis - your social life will usually be centred on your college of maybe 600 students as opposed to a uni where there is typically a centralised Students' Union of thousands and less intimate social organisation. It can mean it's easier to get familiar with the people around you, as you'll tend to see the same faces every day in the Porters Lodge, the JCR, the college library, at mealtimes in Hall and around your room.

Most colleges also arrange activities - especially for freshers - to help people make friends. eg there might be JCR quiz nights, or Welfare staff (typically the Chaplain) might organise a baking or "fun" activity session. There might be other odd opportunities to help you feel at home eg lots of colleges have pets and people do bond around them eg at Ch Ch, the Dean used to invite freshers to walk his dog - nice way to feel included, and an excuse for people to come up and say hello as you are taking the dog around

This thread might give you some other thoughts https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4942734

Otherwise, the basic awkwardness of making friendships from scratch is pretty much the same as anywhere else!

EDIT: forgot to mention the college parent system. Every fresher is allocated to 2 college 'parents' - second year U/Gs, one of whom will be someone doing your subject. Their job is to show you the ropes around how the college works and usually you'll have a meal/drink or two with them, along with the other 'child' allocated to them - a good way of breaking the ice with at least a couple of your peers
(edited 4 years ago)

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