How to nicely ask a friend to dress better? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
#1
So, one of my best friends dresses the exact same whenever we go out anywhere: very short crop top and short skirt with trainers. I really don't mean to be snobbish bc I have never had a problem with how ANY of my friends dress it's their choice and I love my friends unconditionally, however, SOME of my close friends are very different to me (different social circles and class). She's from a lovely family, and her dress sense is her choice and although I wouldn't dress that way she always looks pretty and I'm always supportive.

The problem though, is that whenever we go out to nice restaurants in London (including the savoy, shard and the ritz, all presents for her previous birthdays) she still dresses in either a short skirt and crop top with trainers or replaces the skirt with jeans when informed that's there is a dress code. I've also told her before that she can borrow anything from me, she only ever borrows my going out tops :/

My family friend has recently opened a lovely restaurant and obviously I have invited her to the opening, this time however I do feel I need to insist on a black tie dress code. I have said it to all 18 of my best friends so she doesn't feel attacked at all. Despite this, she sent a picture of a very short dress with a dropped back and trainers as her outfit. The worst part is she has already paid for the outfit with her own hard earned money and loves it. If it was any other "more privileged" friend I wouldn't mind being quite frank and I also know they're not sensitive and they would understand.

I don't know what to do as I don't want my family friend to think I didn't ask my friends to dress appropriately, especially since he's also my dad's business associate. On the other hand, I also don't want to hurt my best friend's feelings.
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Pasa.pasa
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Go to him and say .WAZZZAAAAAAP
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----_----
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Lmao i was expecting you to say she dressed objectively badly. Shes not doing anything wrong lol, theres literally nothing bad about her clothing choices and its your insecurities that need addressing
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sinfonietta
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Maybe recommend she wear a pair of ballet pumps or heels with the dress?

Anything more than that would be controlling.
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Anonymous #2
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Just be polite and honest. Tell them the dress code is strict and that they wouldn't be allowed to wear anything short as the opening is important to your family friend.
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ChickenMadness
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really don't mean to be snobbish
The next 3 paragraphs are pretty snobbish lol.
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A Rolling Stone
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is this a troll thread or serious lmao
(Original post by Anonymous)
So, one of my best friends dresses the exact same whenever we go out anywhere: very short crop top and short skirt with trainers. I really don't mean to be snobbish bc I have never had a problem with how ANY of my friends dress it's their choice and I love my friends unconditionally, however, SOME of my close friends are very different to me (different social circles and class). She's from a lovely family, and her dress sense is her choice and although I wouldn't dress that way she always looks pretty and I'm always supportive.

The problem though, is that whenever we go out to nice restaurants in London (including the savoy, shard and the ritz, all presents for her previous birthdays) she still dresses in either a short skirt and crop top with trainers or replaces the skirt with jeans when informed that's there is a dress code. I've also told her before that she can borrow anything from me, she only ever borrows my going out tops :/

My family friend has recently opened a lovely restaurant and obviously I have invited her to the opening, this time however I do feel I need to insist on a black tie dress code. I have said it to all 18 of my best friends so she doesn't feel attacked at all. Despite this, she sent a picture of a very short dress with a dropped back and trainers as her outfit. The worst part is she has already paid for the outfit with her own hard earned money and loves it. If it was any other "more privileged" friend I wouldn't mind being quite frank and I also know they're not sensitive and they would understand.

I don't know what to do as I don't want my family friend to think I didn't ask my friends to dress appropriately, especially since he's also my dad's business associate. On the other hand, I also don't want to hurt my best friend's feelings.
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3121
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#8
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Give the savoy a heads up next time and tell them to reject him from entering since hes not following the code.. that'll teach him
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ----_----)
Lmao i was expecting you to say she dressed objectively badly. Shes not doing anything wrong lol, theres literally nothing bad about her clothing choices and its your insecurities that need addressing
You really haven't understood the situation here, I have no problem with her dress sense usually, it's cute imo. However, my family friend's restaurant is not somewhere she would be able to wear anything other than black tie dress. I haven't ever said anything to her unless we go to somewhere with a dress code bc her outfits violate the dress code, however, usually because I'm accompanying her they allow it.

It's not about me I couldn't care less about what I personally think about someone's style. However, she is incredibly sensitive and if someone were to tell her off for her clothing she would be so upset.
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Anonymous #2
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just be polite and honest, tell her that the dress code is strict and she can't wear anything short as the opening means alot to your family friend.
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ChickenMadness
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You really haven't understood the situation here, I have no problem with her dress sense usually, it's cute imo. However, my family friend's restaurant is not somewhere she would be able to wear anything other than black tie dress. I haven't ever said anything to her unless we go to somewhere with a dress code bc her outfits violate the dress code, however, usually because I'm accompanying her they allow it.

It's not about me I couldn't care less about what I personally think about someone's style. However, she is incredibly sensitive and if someone were to tell her off for her clothing she would be so upset.
Just tell her theres a dress code for that restaurant.

I doubt she'll be kicked out because of her clothes though lol.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
Maybe recommend she wear a pair of ballet pumps or heels with the dress?

Anything more than that would be controlling.
I don't really want to tell her what to wear and I really do not mind personally but she's really sensitive and if I'm pulled aside and spoken to about her outfit or have to ask her to put her coat on etc. She will be so upset and I'm just trying to avoid any awkward situation which could upset her don't know what to do.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ChickenMadness)
The next 3 paragraphs are pretty snobbish lol.
I really don't mean to come across that way. I just don't want any awkward situation where she will end up upset or made to feel uncomfortable as I know how sensitive she is. She is one of my closest friends and I personally have no problem or negative opinion on her dress sense, genuinely I think she always looks pretty. However, I get nervous that places with dress codes may actually say something about it and then I wouldn't know what to do. It would look incredibly bad if someone at my own family friend's restaurant tells her off for her dress. I'm just trying to avoid a situation like this.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ChickenMadness)
Just tell her theres a dress code for that restaurant.

I doubt she'll be kicked out because of her clothes though lol.
I've told her when there is a dress code but it doesn't really change anything. As long as she gets away with it that's fine by me but if I'm not sure whether she will I get really nervous.
Actually I've seen quite a few people refused entry to restaurants and bars due to dress sense (trainers, crop tops, track suits).
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ChickenMadness
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've told her when there is a dress code but it doesn't really change anything. As long as she gets away with it that's fine by me but if I'm not sure whether she will I get really nervous.
Actually I've seen quite a few people refused entry to restaurants and bars due to dress sense (trainers, crop tops, track suits).
Why don't you tell your dad about it and see what he says? If the restaurant is owned by your dad's friend it would be weird for them to kick out your friend.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ChickenMadness)
Why don't you tell your dad about it and see what he says? If the restaurant is owned by your dad's friend it would be weird for them to kick out your friend.
I don't really get along with my dad haha. However, I did discuss it with my mum who said I should tell her before she goes to maybe wear one of my dresses.
No one would "kick her out" I just wouldn't want him to ask her to put on her coat on anything. I forgot to add there will be photographers etc. To take pictures for the website & google.
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furiousmushroom
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#17
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If she gets kicked out for that you have a rubbish family friend.
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Reality Check
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#18
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So, one of my best friends dresses the exact same whenever we go out anywhere: very short crop top and short skirt with trainers. I really don't mean to be snobbish bc I have never had a problem with how ANY of my friends dress it's their choice and I love my friends unconditionally, however, SOME of my close friends are very different to me (different social circles and class). She's from a lovely family, and her dress sense is her choice and although I wouldn't dress that way she always looks pretty and I'm always supportive.

The problem though, is that whenever we go out to nice restaurants in London (including the savoy, shard and the ritz, all presents for her previous birthdays) she still dresses in either a short skirt and crop top with trainers or replaces the skirt with jeans when informed that's there is a dress code. I've also told her before that she can borrow anything from me, she only ever borrows my going out tops :/

My family friend has recently opened a lovely restaurant and obviously I have invited her to the opening, this time however I do feel I need to insist on a black tie dress code. I have said it to all 18 of my best friends so she doesn't feel attacked at all. Despite this, she sent a picture of a very short dress with a dropped back and trainers as her outfit. The worst part is she has already paid for the outfit with her own hard earned money and loves it. If it was any other "more privileged" friend I wouldn't mind being quite frank and I also know they're not sensitive and they would understand.

I don't know what to do as I don't want my family friend to think I didn't ask my friends to dress appropriately, especially since he's also my dad's business associate. On the other hand, I also don't want to hurt my best friend's feelings.
It's terribly common to comment to someone about their sense of dress, which knife and fork to use, not to say 'toilet' etc. People of quality wouldn't dream of commenting on such a thing.

It's not your concern how your 'friend' chooses to present herself. If you're worried about her 'showing herself up' at this restaurant launch, then don't invite her. If you do invite her, then expect her to show up in something you'll probably disapprove of. Personally, I hope she comes in an animal print boob tube and 5" perspex heels.
Last edited by Reality Check; 9 months ago
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Anonymous #3
#19
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Maybe she could wear some tights to go with the dress and some flats/ heels? Idk. Or say you want to take selfies and would like her to be twinning with u maybe..??
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It's****ingWOODY
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(Original post by Pasa.pasa)
Go to him and say .WAZZZAAAAAAP
(Original post by 3121)
Give the savoy a heads up next time and tell them to reject him from entering since hes not following the code.. that'll teach him
Man like Pasa.pasa and 3121 can't read :rofl:
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