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Mature student now panicking

Hi,

Ooofff very long post coming up (maybe it's good practise for getting back into essay-writing?! :biggrin:)

Bit of background: After a having a couple of unfulfilling jobs (admin/receptionist, warehouse operative) I made the decision late last year to follow my real passion for art and crafts and applied to to study BA Ceramics. I've accepted an offer and will be starting in September. I'm so excited to be doing what *I* want to do, not my family for once!

I'll be 25 when I start and although I wasn't worried initially I am now starting to fret about fitting in as a mature student.

A few specific reasons:

1.) Well, the obvious one is that people just won't talk to me as an older person (before applying I thought of myself as a 'young person'- now I'm already referring to myself as 'older'! :colondollar:). My course will involve frequent group work and I know 18-20 year olds can be pretty judgemental about age (I probably was too!). I don't want to be the 'creepy old guy'. I know some of this comes from the fact that some mature students really do spend all their time trying to go to clubs and perving on 18-year-olds, but that's not me (I didn't even like clubs when I was 18, so maybe I'll fit in better now? :h:). I'd really like to talk to other folks on my course, I just hope they will be OK around me! There's a residential in my first year that I'd love to go on, but not if no-one talks to me.

2.) Accommodation: trying to get any info out of my uni about which accommodation is better for mature students is like trying to get blood out of a stone (see point 3 below). I've opted to stay in halls for this year (it's one less thing to have to sort out when this whole experience is new to me). I *think* I've chosen the site (my uni has a few separate places) which is more suitable for older students and I've asked to be with others (I have no problem talking to people from my age all the way to 60+; afterall I'm used to the workplace where everyone just gets along because we're all in the same boat... well, except for the managers :biggrin:). I wanted to stay in Halls also because I'd like to socialise and get to know people.

3.) Do the staff at your uni treat you differently? I've already found it difficult to get information that other students seem to get no problem. I couldn't get out of most of the staff which accomodation is better for mature students, and turned up to an open day which was only for people who hadn't already had interviews :colondollar:, among other balls-ups caused by my being completely out of my depth (we mature students don't have parents or college lecturers to help us through this!) and lack of information from uni admin.

What are your experiences of similar issues? I have a feeling I'm blowing this out of proportion, but then again my uni doesn't seem very geared up towards mature students (oddly I feel completely at-ease about being gay at uni but not about my age- usually I'm the other way around, for example at work!). Oh, and I'm bald and beard-y so I look old AF anyway :biggrin::hat:

Thanks for your help! :smile:

TL;DR I'll be 25- I want to socialise with others on my course to some extent [read: no sticky horrible clubs at 3am or dating 18-year-olds] but worried I'll stick out like a sore thumb.
Original post by licensedtokiln
Hi,

Ooofff very long post coming up (maybe it's good practise for getting back into essay-writing?! :biggrin:)

Bit of background: After a having a couple of unfulfilling jobs (admin/receptionist, warehouse operative) I made the decision late last year to follow my real passion for art and crafts and applied to to study BA Ceramics. I've accepted an offer and will be starting in September. I'm so excited to be doing what *I* want to do, not my family for once!

I'll be 25 when I start and although I wasn't worried initially I am now starting to fret about fitting in as a mature student.

A few specific reasons:

1.) Well, the obvious one is that people just won't talk to me as an older person (before applying I thought of myself as a 'young person'- now I'm already referring to myself as 'older'! :colondollar:). My course will involve frequent group work and I know 18-20 year olds can be pretty judgemental about age (I probably was too!). I don't want to be the 'creepy old guy'. I know some of this comes from the fact that some mature students really do spend all their time trying to go to clubs and perving on 18-year-olds, but that's not me (I didn't even like clubs when I was 18, so maybe I'll fit in better now? :h:). I'd really like to talk to other folks on my course, I just hope they will be OK around me! There's a residential in my first year that I'd love to go on, but not if no-one talks to me.

2.) Accommodation: trying to get any info out of my uni about which accommodation is better for mature students is like trying to get blood out of a stone (see point 3 below). I've opted to stay in halls for this year (it's one less thing to have to sort out when this whole experience is new to me). I *think* I've chosen the site (my uni has a few separate places) which is more suitable for older students and I've asked to be with others (I have no problem talking to people from my age all the way to 60+; afterall I'm used to the workplace where everyone just gets along because we're all in the same boat... well, except for the managers :biggrin:). I wanted to stay in Halls also because I'd like to socialise and get to know people.

3.) Do the staff at your uni treat you differently? I've already found it difficult to get information that other students seem to get no problem. I couldn't get out of most of the staff which accomodation is better for mature students, and turned up to an open day which was only for people who hadn't already had interviews :colondollar:, among other balls-ups caused by my being completely out of my depth (we mature students don't have parents or college lecturers to help us through this!) and lack of information from uni admin.

What are your experiences of similar issues? I have a feeling I'm blowing this out of proportion, but then again my uni doesn't seem very geared up towards mature students (oddly I feel completely at-ease about being gay at uni but not about my age- usually I'm the other way around, for example at work!). Oh, and I'm bald and beard-y so I look old AF anyway :biggrin::hat:

Thanks for your help! :smile:

TL;DR I'll be 25- I want to socialise with others on my course to some extent [read: no sticky horrible clubs at 3am or dating 18-year-olds] but worried I'll stick out like a sore thumb.


This is a really common question for mature students to have. The fear is that you'll be some object of curiosity and immediately assumed to be a lecturer/parent/admin staff/paedo. The reality is that the only person who's bothered about your age is you. You don't have a sticker on saying your age, and no-one will particularly care, so long as you don't make a big deal of it. So just throw yourself into the activities you're interested in, treat your fellow classmates as you would anyone else and you'll just fit right in.

The mature students who tend to have trouble with this are the ones who go with preconceptions about how people are going to react to them being 'old' and who consciously make themselves separate and 'different'. Of course, as a 25-year-old you're not going to want to be doing all the same social things as a hysterical 18-year old fresh from mummy's apron strings, but equally it's not going to be Radio 3, a mug of Horlicks and bed by 10pm. Just be yourself and put being a bit older entirely out of your mind.
Thanks for replying so quickly! I had a feeling I was overreacting. Sounds like the best advice (as usual) is 'treat others as you'd like to be treated' i.e. don't pre-judge :smile:.
Original post by Reality Check
it's not going to be Radio 3, a mug of Horlicks and bed by 10pm.

Damn that's my perfect evening :biggrin:
Original post by licensedtokiln

Damn that's my perfect evening :biggrin:

hahah :lol: Push the boat out in Freshers' week and make it an Ovaltine.
I'd advise you to stop looking at it from the perspective of being a "mature student", and to start just simply thinking about yourself as a student. Because (especially at your age) once you start your degree there is really no difference.

1) At 25 you'll likely find you're nowhere near the oldest person on the course. You'll be fine. I started my degree at 25 and there were plenty of people my own age (and a few much older) on my course.

2) Halls will mostly be young people, but most won't care about your age.

3) My lecturers don't treat me any differently than they treated older or younger students.
(edited 4 years ago)
Im 28 at a Russell group and fit in quite well, was actually voted as course rep for every year so far despite going to a uni that really is geared towards a younger crowd. Treat them as your equals and they will love you. I also do go clubbing with the kids and still enjoy a good party myself...personally i don't see myself as old at all lol, maybe im in denial. Being black likely helps though as i luckily barely look old lol. But it really shouldn't be an issue if anything people will respect you more not less. Uni is good fun but can be stressful especially at the better unis. Still being older makes seeing the big picture easier. The time pressure of age kind of forces you to have concrete plans while some younger students are still trying to find themselves.
Reply 6
Avatar for newmoove
newmoove
2
1) I wouldn't worry about it, plenty of people start uni in their twenties. I was 24 when I did my UG and I found that everyone banded together as we were all in the same position despite various ages (the oldest student on my course was in his 40s). Uni is a massive and diverse place you certainly wont be the oldest person there and likely not on your course either. Also I just don't think people are as judgemental as you might think!

2) I don't know about your uni but some places find it difficult to house all of the first year students (but don't like to advertise the fact) perhaps this is why they have been a little illusive? At my uni they seemed to house mature students together.

3) Staff didn't treat myself or older students any differently to anyone else from what I saw. If anything I think they like older students as generally they're very committed, but overall it is about the work you produce and how well you engage with the course which his nothing to do with age.
You will probably find it similar to previous workplaces. Some people you will get on with more, others you won't. At the end of the day, it will be more about personality and interests, rather than age. That's my experience anyway. Enjoy the experience! :smile:
1. I graduate this year aged 41...I am told I look my early to mid-30's...I didn't pay these people anything but they are friends. Make of that what you will. Your age means nothing unless you want it to. I got on just as well with students in their late teens and early twenties as I did with those around my own age...and in some instances better. Be yourself. I haven't been on any of the faculty social events because I have children and just couldn't make it. I didn't even make much use of the student union. But we are all out for drinks after our final exam on Friday.

That said a friend on a different course at a different uni cannot abide their fellow students and does everything they possibly can to avoid them in any social setting.

Also it doesn't matter how old anyone is, group work in my experience is horrendous...there are memes about it...age doesn't determine how feckless a student is going to be on their group work contribution.

3 (cos I can't help with 2)....staff can treat you differently. This is often down however to how much more confident mature students can be at engaging with their course. Administrative staff I found could be quite patronising in how they offered information until I pointed out I was 'older'. I find this annoying as it shouldn't matter how old a person is, if you're providing information and customer service you should speak to the other person with respect. But that could come from me working in admin and customer service...I expect the same standards as I would give in the same role.
Thanks for this- I'm feeling a lot more chilled after everyone's advice. I'm one of those people who was wary of teenagers when *I* was a teenager!

I'll bear the point about group work in mind!
Original post by LilBlueBug
... But that could come from me working in admin and customer service...I expect the same standards as I would give in the same role.

Hehe I'm guilty of this one too having worked in admin :tongue:
Hi, I’m 41 and will be returning to uni as a mature student full time this September.

At my uni interview, after a bit of small talk with one of the other candidates, they initially thought I was the tutor!!! 😂🤣😂

Having said that, it was very clear to me I had way more life experience to offer in the group exercise. I see that as a strength. 😊
Cheers for this advice :smile:
Original post by newmoove
2) I don't know about your uni but some places find it difficult to house all of the first year students (but don't like to advertise the fact) perhaps this is why they have been a little illusive? At my uni they seemed to house mature students together.

On looking into it further it seems like this might be the case with the uni I'm going to- they make a point of saying local students will be low priority for housing (which is fine in my case as I'm from way out of the area) .
It’s quite daunting going back to college/university.
I’ve bit the bullet and applied to go back to college, I had my interview and when mentioned about my age the tutor said I would be amazed at how many ‘older’ students there’s would be on the course and also in the college. I’ve got an unconditional and start in August. The tutor mentioned life skills and also said when it’s an mature student you know that they really want to do thecourse rather than just doing it for the sake of it,

I’m nervous, excited, scared but I’m sure after the first week or two I’ll be fine.
Hi there @licensedtokiln

Firstly, you've had some great advice already, so as I was a mature student I can only add my experience for you.

You're first and foremost a student, your age doesn't matter. I made friends with people of all ages and found common interests. Equally, I found I didn't share anything in common with people too, but that's ok too.

You're there to study and get the degree you want so that's your goal. I know my university had a mature student society, so I'd check if the one you'll be attending has one (you could always create one if there isn't one!). If you have other interests, look at joining a society to meet like minded people and get involved in activities. Go to your uni;s Freshers Fair to sign up for a few that interest you.

Your lecturers will know that you may have external things younger students don't have to deal with. Mine were very understanding if I had "grown up issues" to deal with at home and were excellent to just sit and talk to when I needed a sounding board.

Mostly, my advice is to just enjoy yourself and have fun on your course, but please feel free to message and questions we may be able to help you with.

Fi :horse:
Original post by licensedtokiln
Hi,

Ooofff very long post coming up (maybe it's good practise for getting back into essay-writing?! :biggrin:)

Bit of background: After a having a couple of unfulfilling jobs (admin/receptionist, warehouse operative) I made the decision late last year to follow my real passion for art and crafts and applied to to study BA Ceramics. I've accepted an offer and will be starting in September. I'm so excited to be doing what *I* want to do, not my family for once!

I'll be 25 when I start and although I wasn't worried initially I am now starting to fret about fitting in as a mature student.

A few specific reasons:

1.) Well, the obvious one is that people just won't talk to me as an older person (before applying I thought of myself as a 'young person'- now I'm already referring to myself as 'older'! :colondollar:). My course will involve frequent group work and I know 18-20 year olds can be pretty judgemental about age (I probably was too!). I don't want to be the 'creepy old guy'. I know some of this comes from the fact that some mature students really do spend all their time trying to go to clubs and perving on 18-year-olds, but that's not me (I didn't even like clubs when I was 18, so maybe I'll fit in better now? :h:). I'd really like to talk to other folks on my course, I just hope they will be OK around me! There's a residential in my first year that I'd love to go on, but not if no-one talks to me.

2.) Accommodation: trying to get any info out of my uni about which accommodation is better for mature students is like trying to get blood out of a stone (see point 3 below). I've opted to stay in halls for this year (it's one less thing to have to sort out when this whole experience is new to me). I *think* I've chosen the site (my uni has a few separate places) which is more suitable for older students and I've asked to be with others (I have no problem talking to people from my age all the way to 60+; afterall I'm used to the workplace where everyone just gets along because we're all in the same boat... well, except for the managers :biggrin:). I wanted to stay in Halls also because I'd like to socialise and get to know people.

3.) Do the staff at your uni treat you differently? I've already found it difficult to get information that other students seem to get no problem. I couldn't get out of most of the staff which accomodation is better for mature students, and turned up to an open day which was only for people who hadn't already had interviews :colondollar:, among other balls-ups caused by my being completely out of my depth (we mature students don't have parents or college lecturers to help us through this!) and lack of information from uni admin.

What are your experiences of similar issues? I have a feeling I'm blowing this out of proportion, but then again my uni doesn't seem very geared up towards mature students (oddly I feel completely at-ease about being gay at uni but not about my age- usually I'm the other way around, for example at work!). Oh, and I'm bald and beard-y so I look old AF anyway :biggrin::hat:

Thanks for your help! :smile:

TL;DR I'll be 25- I want to socialise with others on my course to some extent [read: no sticky horrible clubs at 3am or dating 18-year-olds] but worried I'll stick out like a sore thumb.
I do psychology and theres multiple mature students, im 18 and have friends that are 21/22, theres people in my course that are 25/26 who fit in just fine! as long as your friendly, everyones in the same boat! i dont think youll have a problem with lecturers either, if anything they will favour you as a more mature student :smile:

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