Unable to find a girlfriend

So I'm 20 years old and I'm struggling to find a relationship, I've always had doubts of myself that I'm ugly and not attractive, my flirting skills are awful & I just feel no one wants me. However I know how to treat a girl well I'd hope.

I'm currently on Tinder and as sad as It is I have a Tinder GOld subscription, you may question it and think that's sad! I bought it just to see if actually had any interest in me to actually feel I was something but I'm contently swiping and no matches :frown:

I think my Bio and pictures are OK.. It'd just be nice to speak to someone and see where goes.

I'm unable to bring myself to speaking to someone in clubs / nights out because of my confidence is crap after being bullied for 4 years and I've never known what to say.

Should I come off Tinder?

Reply 1

Seni007

Hi there!
First things first, I know this is going to sound like a cliche, but before some one loves/likes you you have to love your self. Embrace your natural beauty and you are probably better than you think.

About tinder.... i put friend a friend of mine on tinder, just for fun, and he was really attractive looking in pics (not really in person) on his bio and also his description was pretty normal. He did not get a single match! I think that to get matches on tinder you have to swipe A LOT, it’s not as easy as they make it sound on social media...

And to be honest, flirting is not all about pick up lines and cheesy quotes, it’s more about getting to know the person and just letting them know you like them as a friend at first and just get closer little by little. If you are shy I think that is the best approach.

Clubs, girls normally do not go to clubs in the search for long lasting relationships, and maybe clubs are not your thing (tbh neither is mine) instead, go to big meet ups with people to the cinema, beach ect. Do things that you like, this way you will probably get to know some one that has similar tastes. You could join a club (art, drama, music, chess, video game, wine...) this way you will get to know new people.

One last tip, relationships come when you least expect it and normally when you are not looking for one.

If anything else you have me and the whole TSR to talk with!! :smile:

Reply 2

DrawTheLine

Original post by Anonymous

I wouldn't say to come off it, but confidence is attractive. You just need to gradually build it up. Do you have a job? Are you currently at uni or studying? Do you have any hobbies you could pursue further?

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Alright, so you have a bad opinion about your body image and social skills. That’s cool, most of us do. We can work with that.
But what would you say your good at? What makes you different or what are you interested in?
Use the skills you have to form the connections you want.
I relate, got bullied like h*ll for years but my “f*ck it” switch went off and once found, the ability to just do and say things was easier. Though a tad pretentious at the time.
Charisma is like a muscle, you gotta work it to get any gain. And at the start it is usually a bit painful and awkward but you soon figure it out.

Unable to find a girlfriend

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