The Student Room Group

Cheating with my best friend?

My partner and I had been dating for 14 months, and then last week they broke up with me saying they wanted to go on a break because they weren't warm and fuzzy inside whenever they saw me any more, and they wanted to see if they could find it from somebody else.
They laid down some ground rules: we would get back together in a month but before then we could see other people, do as we wished.
However, less than a week into it they have said they'd like to get back together again soon. This I didn't have a problem with as I found myself missing them a lot. But I have a problem - I think my partner has used this time to spend more time with my best friend. If my suspicions are correct (and I know they are seeing each other tonight, with other people there too, but not me, at a party) then my partner has just used this break as an excuse to go and kiss my best friend without getting into trouble with me, and then plans to get back together with me as if nothing happened, but not giving me a chance to test my feelings with other people. In effect they have cheated on me with my best friend by using splitting up with me as a leverage tool.
I don't know what to do, should I just sit back and take this? Please help! :frown:

Reply 1

Before you get into anything, you need to be 100% sure they kissed or did whatever together.

Reply 2

I never understand people who want to go on a 'break' and then 'get back together whenever'.

All a load of crap.

See also 'I need to find myself', 'I need space' etc.

Reply 3

Whether or not he/she kissed your friend the whole thing is irritating. If I was you I would not let this guy/girl act this way. They are toying with your emotions, assuming you will bend to their every whim and acting like you're expendable. Let them know you are not just hanging around waiting for them to get back with you. I would say 'I think we should make the break longer, maybe permanent' or just don't call, text or meet up for a while. Should scare them into not being such an arsehole. I don't think you should take this at all. Did they even ask how you felt about this break or the ground rules? Sounds to me like it was all on their terms.

Reply 4

curiositysatisfied
Whether or not he/she kissed your friend the whole thing is irritating. If I was you I would not let this guy/girl act this way. They are toying with your emotions, assuming you will bend to their every whim and acting like you're expendable. Let them know you are not just hanging around waiting for them to get back with you. I would say 'I think we should make the break longer, maybe permanent' or just don't call, text or meet up for a while. Should scare them into not being such an arsehole. I don't think you should take this at all. Did they even ask how you felt about this break or the ground rules? Sounds to me like it was all on their terms.


No you're right the whole thing's been how they wanted it to be. I was fine at first with it, I was gonna use the time to concentrate on my exams but now it seems like what's happening is they've got their fill of other people, and want my time back now. I agree though, I might say that I want to extend the break, just so I get some say in what's happening. It's my life too.