Struggling to defeat Autism. Thinking of doing uni again

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
I know i know, Autism is for life but i have never accepted this condition. I am in my mid 20s and have not a single friend. I am thinking that the right thing to do, is after graduation, do a random masters and possibly do a phd as i have poor social skills.

I've noticed that every job i take, i don't fit in. I have been in uni for 4 years and i didn't make a single friend. I have been ****ed in several ways more than the college and school days. I didn't even attend a single lecture this year yet i think i will graduate with a Low 2:2 or a High Third class.

I am thinking of doing a masters in uni and pushing myself out, likely reinvent myself, pretending to be 'like the normal people', pretend that i like football etc etc. Basically become a fake person. Because my personality is shite and introverted.

Please someone help i'm severely depressed
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
You sound exactly like me although I have never been diagnosed with autism. I don't really have advice but I just wanted to say that you are not alone. I must say though, I don't know how doing a masters will help improve your social skills, more than getting a job, for example.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
You sound exactly like me although I have never been diagnosed with autism. I don't really have advice but I just wanted to say that you are not alone. I must say though, I don't know how doing a masters will help improve your social skills, more than getting a job, for example.
I think doing a masters is my way of saying 'i don't want a job'. Also i just don't have good social skills. Staying in uni could possibly give me a chance to understand is social issues.

Can i ask (although you don't have to answer) where you at in your life
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#4
Report 1 year ago
#4
I see what you mean but a masters degree is a pretty big money investment, so I wouldn't advise doing it just so you can re-invent yourself. Also, will you realistically act any differently to how you did in your undergraduate? I'm just saying this because I too have had thoughts in the past of re-inventing myself/putting myself out there but it never goes to plan.

I think I am at the same stage as you. I'm just finishing a 4 year degree and I will be starting a masters in September.
0
reply
Snoozinghamster
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 year ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
I know i know, Autism is for life but i have never accepted this condition. I am in my mid 20s and have not a single friend. I am thinking that the right thing to do, is after graduation, do a random masters and possibly do a phd as i have poor social skills.

I've noticed that every job i take, i don't fit in. I have been in uni for 4 years and i didn't make a single friend. I have been ****ed in several ways more than the college and school days. I didn't even attend a single lecture this year yet i think i will graduate with a Low 2:2 or a High Third class.

I am thinking of doing a masters in uni and pushing myself out, likely reinvent myself, pretending to be 'like the normal people', pretend that i like football etc etc. Basically become a fake person. Because my personality is shite and introverted.

Please someone help i'm severely depressed
Maybe see if you can find some autistic communities, it’s a chance to make friends but it means that generally everyone doesn’t get the social skills part so you skip the awkward parts and generally tend to end up talking about special interests and actually interesting stuff. Instead of small talk.

I know doing a masters to delay the inevitable sounds nice but that’s really expensive, and you may find it hard to get motivated still.

Do you have any support from uni, a disabilities resource centre, or a mentor or similar who you could talk to. Masking can be a useful tool at times but it does just tend to lead to burn out from my experience.

All the best.
1
reply
ajcul
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 year ago
#6
Dont pretend to be someone else. It wont make you happy and the people you meet wont suit your personality as they will like the things you just pretend to like. Your personality is not shite. What can really help you is a therapist. I would recommend you to visit one. They are really great and help.
Last edited by ajcul; 1 year ago
1
reply
APICHD
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 year ago
#7
They are people who think your amazing, Just try your best it will pay off never giveup they are others like u too like my friend, I wish I was your might you seem nice
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#8
I'm depressed and feel worse because i am from an African background.

BAME people with autism or any other mental health condition is 100x worse. I know some autistics who are happy the way they are
0
reply
APICHD
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 year ago
#9
your amazing and you should just belive in your self life gets hard for all of us just keep going my friend
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#10
(Original post by ajcul)
Dont pretend to be someone else. It wont make you happy and the people you meet wont suit your personality as they will like the things you just pretend to like. Your personality is not shite. What can really help you is a therapist. I would recommend you to visit one. They are really great and help.
I think i'm already pretending. Nobody knows or thinks i'm autistic. For the past 14 years ive kept it a secret and now i can't just take it anymore.

I'm just really socially awkward and i think that's the reason i have no friends. I'm ****ing nearly 25, most people my age are married or are winning in life. To seek help for a therapist, i have tried and i was just forced with antidepressants which i have not used in a year. I genuinely think i'm in for a difficult life. It's not only autism that is depressing me, it's several things personally in my life
0
reply
JamesManc
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 year ago
#11
I wouldn't try and reinvent yourself, I don't think it would work. Look for autism groups near you and attend those to get advice and make friends.
0
reply
ajcul
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 year ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think i'm already pretending. Nobody knows or thinks i'm autistic. For the past 14 years ive kept it a secret and now i can't just take it anymore.

I'm just really socially awkward and i think that's the reason i have no friends. I'm ****ing nearly 25, most people my age are married or are winning in life. To seek help for a therapist, i have tried and i was just forced with antidepressants which i have not used in a year. I genuinely think i'm in for a difficult life. It's not only autism that is depressing me, it's several things personally in my life
I am very sorry that you have such experience with therapists. Mine never pushed me into anything I did not like or wanted. Maybe they should explain to you why are they giving you the pills or well I dont know what is the procedure for helping a person with autism but therapy is definitely a part of it.

The thing is that the only way for you to find friends is to be yourself. I know it sounds cheesy but it is really the best thing you can do. Pretending to be someone else is tiring and not helping. And autism is not something you should be ashamed of. People who are the right ones for you wont judge you because of it.
0
reply
Ellana42
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 year ago
#13
You are an awesome person!!! It is hard, but you will find "your people"! What are you interested in? Definitely find and join societies at Uni about your interest(s). I made my best friends when volunteering - when the focus is task oriented (making things, what should we) rather than just random social situations, your personality will shine.

Also, with age and at uni people tend to be more accepting of differences.
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you travelling in the Uni student travel window (3-9 Dec) to go home for Christmas?

Yes (67)
27.35%
No - I have already returned home (27)
11.02%
No - I plan on travelling outside these dates (51)
20.82%
No - I'm staying at my term time address over Christmas (25)
10.2%
No - I live at home during term anyway (75)
30.61%

Watched Threads

View All