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5 types of women and 2 types of men

I'd like some feedback on this, both advice and whether or not it makes any sense.
I'm a CMF and need help to change. To explain...
A friend told me a while back that there are (as says in the title), 5 types of women and 2 types of men.
For the women there is type 0: not someone you'd (from a man's point of view) think of trying to pull - mates girlfriend, girlfriend's mum/sister, your sister, girls that you've known for too long.
Then there's Miss Perfect - who doesn't exist.
Next there's Miss Yeah Right: the gorgeous podium dancer that the guy is so terrified of making a fool of in front of, he actually starts up a conversation with her, listens to her and becomes a friend - at which point she goes off and snogs the face off of some other guy that's just going for the score.
The next class is the majority, Miss Right: maybe not perfect, but compliments her partner well enough and they become happy together until a few years/months down the line after she's tried to change him to be better and suddenly all of the individuality has been driven out of him, removing that spark of personality that first attracted her to him in the first place.
Finally we have Miss Right Now: because nobody looks bad just before the house lights come up.
For the blokes we have Smooth Talking Bastards (or STBs) and Cute Male Friends (CMF).
The STB is the confident one that won’t take no for an answer, he can be said to be slimy but he gets results and doesn’t usually care about the fall out from his encounters.
At the other end of the scale is the CMF, who may or may not be cute. This is the guy that approaches Miss Yeah Right and ends up keeping her seat at the club while her group of friends go and dance (with the STBs) while he sits on his own watching over the coats and bags. He is the one that she comes over to and cries on his shoulder as he holds her ice cream and she complains about the latest git that’s used her. You can tell if you’re a CMF if you’ve ever had the phrases used along the lines of “yeah but I think of you as one of the girls,” “why can’t I meet a nice guy like you, but not you, you don’t count.” Sometimes known as the “there’s always…” guy, (as in, “well, there’s always Gary/Dave/Bob.”) A CMF will never tell you that he finds you attractive, or if he does, chances are you won’t notice; he’ll feel bad about thinking about you that way so will always laugh it off.
All of us are, I think, bits of these characters and play the roles at different times, but I’m stuck as a CMF. My friendship gap (time between starting to talk to a girl and feeling bad about imagining them naked) is about 30 seconds and I need to change. I don’t want to be a STB but want to be seen as a viable man, rather then a CMF. Help Please!

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be more assertive.

the ladder is far better than this

Reply 3

wallflower*

No. The whole 2 types/5 types thing is bullcrap.

Reply 4

Riddy

This is just one persons perception of people based on their experience. Yea there are different types of people, but they can't be put into fixed catagories.

Reply 5

bean69

i imagine theres far more than just two types of blokes, for example the blokes that arent slimy as you put it, but do get the women because of their looks etc without actually doing much..

Reply 6

Mush

Actually there's about 6,800,000,000 types of PERSON.

Reply 7

NexusDominus

aaahaha..whats scary is..as im readint it was the fact that ...the majority is as spot on as the pimples on my unwittingly self...if i was to ask my self which one i would relate to i would say 75%CMF and 25%STB ...on if i wouuld choose a girl ..i would go for the the one with some of all those traits...miss perfect will do..but wait......SHE DOES'NT EXIST!!! so yea...if worse comes to worse...ill have to go with the forbidding fruit. Thats right...type 0:
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jokies!

Reply 8

Poica

I find the way men try to categorise everyone very confusing...
I mean, they're utterly meaningless in the real world, but you feel the need to create these boxes nonetheless.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

True, putting people into boxes is fruitless, and no one is purely anything, but the friend that gave me this is a woman.
Just so you know.

Reply 10

MGT_90

You're completely right. The entire human population can be accurately categorised into only 7 types of people. Individuality is merely an illusion.

The way to change is to undergo a physical and mental metamorphosis. This is best done under the Dog Star whilst painting an inverted pentagram around your person with the blood of a yak. Then, get the entrails of the yak and place it in a binliner and tie it to the end of a branch of a yew tree facing north.

Or is that the cure for hiccups? I don't remember.

Reply 11

Anony mouse

The problem with the CMF is that they lack BXQ unlike STB who have YJK. But then the YJK don't have WSZ whereas VMI are more like TRL Finally TRL don't need FGH.

Apart from that, I know what you mean, anonymous #1.

Reply 12

The Saurus

I take my clothes off a lot that seems to get the girls to notice me.

Reply 13

wallflower*

The Saurus

I take my clothes off a lot that seems to get the girls to notice me.

Typical STB behaviour :rolleyes:

Reply 14

The Saurus

wallflower*

Typical STB behaviour :rolleyes:

i'd rather be an exhibitionist than looking after your bag

Reply 15

kaal1010

your a centre midfielder?

Reply 16

Robusty

you've overly simplified the types of men and women, but then again, i guess it almost impossible to specify each and everyone of them.

However, i quite understand ur model...cos, in this case, I've been a CMF and knew a Miss Year Right...shes fit...shes nice...i befriended her....but never had the guts to ask her out...then she went out with another (not close) friend of mine....their relationship is not working so well atm and she comes to her friend and me to rant about it...during which my head is like 'well you're better of going out with me in the first place'...lolz.

but now i've forgotten about her cos shes a bit of a freeloader...and just .... her personality is not that great come to think of it. The only thing thats attrative of her is her looks, thats it - so shes not worlth my attention anymore (after i've gotten over the crush of cos :rolleyes:

)

i think the way out of this is to start over, slowly, change ur 'style' slowly over a period of time. or if you can, make friends with a new group of people and adopt a new persona with them. This is how i see and experience it. : Miss Yeah Right and her group of friends are originated from uni, my other group of friends are originated from my uni hall, adopting 2 persona is not that difficult in my case - slowing tranfser ur behaviour from one to another, the trick is to do it slowly,( for example...new kinda jokes, new way of approach, new way of starting conversation etc). So now i'm no long a CMF simply cos i've chucked Miss Yeah Right in the bin and became more of a STD (not exactly, cos i don't think i'm that kinda guy, i'm more of a noble person...maybe Smooth Noble Guy - SNG? lol) in both group of friends. Try it.

Hope you'd appreciate this and find it useful.

Reply 17

dh00001

can we be sensible please?

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

is it just me then, who completely understands that?

as to how you can get out of this "cmf" zone (I've never heard of anyone actually putting a name to these groups...) I have no clue - so I'm pretty useless in that sense.

From experience, though, the "cmf"s I know actually eventually end up with someone who is actually really quite good for them - they just have to wait a while (sometimes quite a while) longer, and don't get any of the many meaningless relationships in between.

I've been a shoulder to many a frustrated lad who are well... lads and would just quite like to get a bit every now and again! But it's just the way it is. Trying to be a sleezeball just to get someone in bed is not a good idea imo - it's like a girl pretending to be a slag. It's not being true to yourself, and it just won't feel right.

well, thats my 2pence anyway. I hope someone can give you a bit more constructive advice...

Reply 19

MGT_90

Anonymous

is it just me then, who completely understands that?

Pretty much, because you seem to be the only one who agrees that all men are either players or losers and that all men should be categorised entirely by their promiscuity with the female sex. It's flawed even in that sense anyway. Where do married men fit into all this?

I'm sure we can all sympathise if you've been traumatised over a recent relationship, but I'd like to think a lot of us wouldn't start believing in theories that set psychology and sociology back 150 years.

Whilst we're enjoying some retro sociology and psychology, we might as well revive the notion that all women are incapable of rational thought because they are ruled only by emotion. That, along with female hysteria, is best rectified by tying women to a chair and spraying them with a water hose from a fire truck.