I like a Muslim Girl and I am Muslim as well

Hi everyone I got a little problem. I am a Sunni Muslim and I heavily respect Islam but there is a girl in my college who is also a Muslim and I really like her because she is a very nice person and her personality. I kinda have a crush on her but is this Haram to have a crush and I want to be her boyfriend though I plan to do this right after I end college.

But please help if this is Haram or anything or an advice to get close to her. In Islam it is essential to pass down knowledge so having a wife is essential.

My friend has a girlfriend who is also a Muslim and both of his parents and his gf's parents know they are together.

I don't want to be that lovey dovey or kissy guy

I just wanna be very close friends with her

So plz help!!!

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Hi,

First of all, it is not haram to have a crush as this is natural, and inevitible, it is what you do with those feelings that matter.
Now I am just giving you my perspective, as I am not a perfect muslim myself, and have been in a similar situation as yourself.
What is permissible and what is done are very different these days, technically, you shouldn't even speak to the girl, unless you propose marriage and this can be to the extreme that you dont ask her directly. Of course, you're only young, and no way able to take on the responsiblities of marriage. I think personally, based on the world and times we live in, befriend her, there is no harm in that, you don't even know if she will feel the same. Just dont rush things, stay friends, get to know her, you are young and even though it may feel like it, you don't know what you want yet. Eventually, if things go well in terms of your friendship and you are sure that this is someone you could marry someday, then share your feelings and discuss between yourselves how to move forward.

Of course, it would be wrong of me to say relationships are not haram, mostly because of what it leads to, you say you just want a friendship with her, that is great, but as soon as you share how you feel, and if this is reciprocated, things will change. It will no longer be a friendhsip and refraining from things will be much more difficult. You need to wiegh up your beliefs and how far you are willing to go in terms of this girl.

It is a very touchy topic, especially in Islam. Ofc like your friends, getting family involved is great, as it avoids the deciet, but without nikkah, this is still not permissable, many get nikkah done but wait for marriage by law, but since you are in college, personally, i do not reccoment this, I too persued someone and they were my world, but university changed us both so much that we were no longer the two friends we were in college. Take things slow, don't rush, don't make pemanenent decisions on uncertain thoughts or feelings, and dont act on feelings without thought. Most of all, remember, there is a huge transition in terms of personality during and after college.

Reply 2

Ruhab Dabeer

Yeah I agree I don't want to be too forward. I honestly right now wanna be just good friends. Pray for me that God guides me to the right path of having a wife and what is permissible or not. I don't really talk to her as much as well so how should I be great friends with herPlz help

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

You should talk to her about work and get familiar with her; this will give you a chance to showcase your skills and talents. You can keep it quite halal and share religious knowledge with each other. Towards the end, express your concerns regarding marriage and give her time to consider your proposal (she's Muslim like you, so she will understand its importance).

I'll pray it works out for you and inshallah, Allah guides you to a good partner.

Reply 4

Bigsmoke876

Original post by Ruhab Dabeer

If she aint in that burka thats hella haram

Reply 5

Ruhab Dabeer

Well actually she wears a Hijab and covers herselfBut I have read that some don't wear it but she does thankfuly

Reply 6

Dannymon77

Honestly, just hit it

Reply 7

Ruhab Dabeer

Thanks Bhai, please do pray for me that we get married, My friend was lucky enough to get together with a girl
The most reason I like her is because her personality is really good and she is like a girl version of me
which is why she interests me.
PLZ make dua that everything works out
I feel very shy as well

Original post by Anonymous

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Btw Its Behen so not brozzer-bhai lol

Don't worry too much about it, just go for it! Don't pay too much attention to who has a partner and who doesn't, life isn't a race. Delicate relationships are built through opportunities not grabbed at one.

Also, remember that the best dua to make isn't "I hope I get with her" - it might feel like she's the one but you're partially blind to all her flaws that you might not approve after marriage.

Instead pray for finding the best possible partner and if doesn't work out then God knows best. You seem quite passionate about her so inshallah I hope it works for the best!

Original post by Ruhab Dabeer

Reply 9

Ruhab Dabeer

Yeah I do bothI make dua to me getting the right women. But I think she is the one. She is like a girl version of meHopefully we get together, she isn't really talking to me so how should i approach that. I am too shy man plz make Dua that I get together with her