Pregnant in Uni Watch

roostr
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#1
Report Thread starter 6 months ago
#1
Hello!!!

I am currently 20 years old and due to start uni in September for Adult Nursing.
I found out that I'm pregnant, (scan is next week) with my boyfriend's child.
I'm finding ways to keep the child, doing research on costs, ways to maintain everything whilst studying, asking around for advice from people in similar situations.

On the other hand, my boyfriend is pretty set on me aborting the child.
I want to speak to him about the pros and cons of each option, but he doesn't really want to discuss it. When I try and watch what I eat, he says that it's fine because it's like "plumping up a pig before it gets slaughtered".
I ask him to put himself in my shoes, imagine the emotional damage I would possibly be faced with after an abortion, and he says that he wouldn't care if he saw his dead unborn child in the toilet and he would feel nothing if he were to abort a child.

I feel like I have no support from him nor are my friends close to me distance wise, so I can't easily go and be with them.

I just feel lost and alone in this.
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Kater Murr
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Wow.

Tbh, with your boyfriend's attitude, I think you need to consider that if you keep this baby you will be likely doing it alone. Also - he's just not a nice guy. Whether you decide to keep the baby or not, I'd advise you to abort the boyfriend.
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roostr
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(Original post by Kater Murr)
Wow.

Tbh, with your boyfriend's attitude, I think you need to consider that if you keep this baby you will be likely doing it alone. Also - he's just not a nice guy. Whether you decide to keep the baby or not, I'd advise you to abort the boyfriend.
Thank you for your advice!!! I'm just hurt I reckon from his lack of support. I will try and find more information on how to help myself!
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nicolegrace1207
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Honestly, your boyfriends attitude towards this is disgusting. So if you were to have this baby, you would more than likely have to raise it on your own, which will 100% interfere with your uni course. So maybe think about what is more important to you at this exact moment!
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black tea
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Personally, I would have an abortion in this situation.
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puta91
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firstly, your bf is a ****, secondly you can do this! i have 2 children, im on my own and im still in uni. I took a year out as i was pregnant in my second year and had baby in october this would of been my forst few weeks back at uni with a newborn. my uni was supportive and understanding and told me i can take a year out and come back, im now going into my final year and i am a mother! its your body and your choice! theres a lot of stigma in regards to young mums and being a student, im that small percent that has continuously smashed university whilst being a single mother! good luck with everything and if you need someone to talk to my inbox is open x
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londonmyst
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Congratulations on the pregnancy!
It will probably take you a while to reach a final decision on what you want and the next steps in that direction.
You are the only one with the right to choose, don't allow your jerk of a boyfriend to bully or torment you.

If you want to proceed as a single parent there is plenty of uni and other support available to you.
My friend has been a single father since he was a teenager, he is now doing a postgrad and has childcare funding plus several grants.
Another friend is in the final year of her undergrad, she has three children under the age of 5.
Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
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I’m not saying to get an abortion, but a family friend was in a position where she had an abortion.
She’s 35, she want a child before she’s 40. She wanted the child, but she and her fiancé weren’t in the financial position to have one. He was about to branch out in his business, however he does have a fair amount of money behind him which they are putting towards their first house (they rent). They both decided they weren’t in the position they wanted to be when they had a child, she wanted to be in their house, have it all set up and he wanted enough money to support them both so she didn’t have to work, she could spend time with their child until it went to nursery etc.

She had an abortion, which they both went to. Even though it was the most difficult thing to process, she is now okay with the decision they made, she wanted to be financially sound when she had a child. It’s a decision not to take lightly. But it’s an option people do use, and their are services they provide to support you through and after an abortion.

You want to keep the baby, you keep the baby and don’t let him pressure you into an abortion.
Plenty of people have put themselves through uni whilst being pregnant, it’s obviously more difficult than if you weren’t pregnant but not impossible.

Ultimately it’s your decision, just don’t expect the boyfriend to hang around if that’s his attitude. Sounds horrible anyway.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m not saying to get an abortion, but a family friend was in a position where she had an abortion.
She’s 35, she want a child before she’s 40. She wanted the child, but she and her fiancé weren’t in the financial position to have one. He was about to branch out in his business, however he does have a fair amount of money behind him which they are putting towards their first house (they rent). They both decided they weren’t in the position they wanted to be when they had a child, she wanted to be in their house, have it all set up and he wanted enough money to support them both so she didn’t have to work, she could spend time with their child until it went to nursery etc.

She had an abortion, which they both went to. Even though it was the most difficult thing to process, she is now okay with the decision they made, she wanted to be financially sound when she had a child. It’s a decision not to take lightly. But it’s an option people do use, and their are services they provide to support you through and after an abortion.

You want to keep the baby, you keep the baby and don’t let him pressure you into an abortion.
Plenty of people have put themselves through uni whilst being pregnant, it’s obviously more difficult than if you weren’t pregnant but not impossible.

Ultimately it’s your decision, just don’t expect the boyfriend to hang around if that’s his attitude. Sounds horrible anyway.
Didn’t realise thread was 3mnth old SORRY
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keptinside
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Keep the baby and get over your boyfriend. If he said anything about it, just tell him, you’ll take the full hold of it.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by roostr)
Hello!!!

I am currently 20 years old and due to start uni in September for Adult Nursing.
I found out that I'm pregnant, (scan is next week) with my boyfriend's child.
I'm finding ways to keep the child, doing research on costs, ways to maintain everything whilst studying, asking around for advice from people in similar situations.

On the other hand, my boyfriend is pretty set on me aborting the child.
I want to speak to him about the pros and cons of each option, but he doesn't really want to discuss it. When I try and watch what I eat, he says that it's fine because it's like "plumping up a pig before it gets slaughtered".
I ask him to put himself in my shoes, imagine the emotional damage I would possibly be faced with after an abortion, and he says that he wouldn't care if he saw his dead unborn child in the toilet and he would feel nothing if he were to abort a child.

I feel like I have no support from him nor are my friends close to me distance wise, so I can't easily go and be with them.

I just feel lost and alone in this.
Roostr I was just wondering what you decided to do? I hope you're okay lovely
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