feeling depressed about the future Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
I just feel like my happiness has been deteriorating for the last 3 years. i have just spent my gap year working in a shop, not doing much else. getting lots of sleep. applied for medicine because not sure what else to do. I just look on instagram and see other young people travelling and going out all the time. Realistically i'm just lazy af and really cba for life. it's all too much. I want to do medicine because i'm a bit interested in science, and want a good job. It also seems interesting compared to a lot of office jobs. But it's also a lot of pressure and hard work. ultimately i just want to be happy in life and i don't know if being a doctor will give me that. i don't want to make the wrong decision. my mum is also really rude to me and overall i just hate my life. now that i have applied to medicine and put all that time and money into it, i just feel like i'd be an idiot to reject it all.
the main things putting me off medicine are: the weekends, the continuous exams, the lack of work-life balance but mainly the pressure you are under. I can't imagine being a 25 year old doctor fresh out of medical school and having to make some really rushed decisions about patients care. I worry about giving them the wrong drugs or making the wrong decision and killing a patient.

overall i just don't think i can hack a difficult high-powered life.

i just want an easy life where i can afford to go on lots of nice holidays, have my weekends free. have kids when i'm 32 and just overall have a good life. but this is probably an unrealistic expectation.

If i don't want to do medicine, i might go into finance or teaching (as a last resort, cos that doesn't seem much better either) . what degree should i do for that?
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esralled
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#2
Report 2 weeks ago
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Oh boy, there's a lot to unpack here.

I just feel like my happiness has been deteriorating for the last 3 years. i have just spent my gap year working in a shop, not doing much else. getting lots of sleep.
A hobby won't cure your depression, but neither will doing nothing. Even if you run for 10 minutes a day, that's 10 minutes more than nothing. Or if you spend an hour a week at the library reading books, that's an hour more than nothing.

I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), which is basically the type of depression that antidepressant don't cure (but CBT does), so I'm very accustomed to wanting to kill myself. I don't know if you're at that level of depression from your post, but it's a hell of a lot easier to fix it if you aren't. What got me on the road to dealing with it is the concept of "Zero Days." I realised that when I was at my lowest, I would do nothing but wake-up, sit in front of the computer, go to work, and sleep. That's what I mean by "Zero Days" - days where nothing happens. I began to force myself to do something - walk to the shop (or around it, if I didn't need to buy anything) and back, just to get out of the house. Write 1000 words of a short story with a pen and paper in a library or on a park bench. Go to the gym for an hour. Just something that would turn my "Zero Day" into a "Something Day", even if that something only lasted 10 minutes.

I just look on instagram and see other young people travelling and going out all the time.
Instagram is fake trash. No one (with some exceptions) uploads a picture of themself with makeup streaming down their face crying because they did everything right and still feel like shite, even though we've all done it. It's all doctored vanity that you shouldn't compare yourself to. If you must use it, unfollow all the instagram influencers and everyone else you're comparing yourself to. Follow artists, or poets, or puzzle accounts, or scientific accounts. Your life will be so much more enriched by using instagram to broaden your mind instead of feeling inferior.

Realistically i'm just lazy af and really cba for life. it's all too much. I want to do medicine because i'm a bit interested in science, and want a good job. It also seems interesting compared to a lot of office jobs. But it's also a lot of pressure and hard work. ultimately i just want to be happy in life and i don't know if being a doctor will give me that.
You have to seriously change your attitude if you want to study medicine. My flatmates girlfriend is studying it at our university. She is at uni 9-6 everyday for 5 years, and will be doing a few years training in the field afterwards. And that's for her undergraduate degree. Your don't become a doctor without - you guessed it - a doctorate, which comes after a masters.

A lot of office jobs probably are tedious. The one I did (software engineering) certainly was. That's why your definition of "making it" shouldn't be on account of the job you do or the money you make. An office working bringing in £35k a year with a steady shift pattern, time off at the weekends, hobbies that she enjoys, and a family that she loves has "made it" levels beyond someone bringing in £75k a year who goes back to an empty house.

now that i have applied to medicine and put all that time and money into it, i just feel like i'd be an idiot to reject it all.
This shouldn't put you off if you're truly invested in medicine, so I'll say it. Think of the money and time you've put into it at the moment that you don't want to waste. Is it 1 year? 2 years? £9250? £18,500?

Compare that to what you still have to commit. 7 years of studying and 3 years of training, for example. And £9250 for each of those seven years. Is it better to have spent £18,500 and have second thoughts, or £64,750 and have second thoughts?

You say you'd feel like an idiot to reject it all. Lets say two people are given £70,000. One person loses £20,000 and another person loses £65,000. Who's the bigger idiot?

the main things putting me off medicine are: the weekends, the continuous exams, the lack of work-life balance but mainly the pressure you are under. I can't imagine being a 25 year old doctor fresh out of medical school and having to make some really rushed decisions about patients care. I worry about giving them the wrong drugs or making the wrong decision and killing a patient.
If there's even a slight chance you'd do that, you wouldn't pass. Also, there are no 25 year old doctors fresh out of medical school performing life-saving procedures. They're all still studying.

i just want an easy life where i can afford to go on lots of nice holidays, have my weekends free. have kids when i'm 32 and just overall have a good life. but this is probably an unrealistic expectation.
That's not an unrealistic expectation at all. It's very possible.

What's unrealistic is expecting that to be handed to you. If you want the rewards, you need to put in the effort. Coasting through life because you "cba" with it won't make you any more. Grafting for years and settling into a steady, well-paid job will.

It sounds like you have a lot to think about. You really need to consider what it is you want from life, and how you're going to get it. If you want an easy life, stay working at the shop. If you want a reward life, start working for it now.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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(Original post by esralled)
Oh boy, there's a lot to unpack here.
A hobby won't cure your depression, but neither will doing nothing. Even if you run for 10 minutes a day, that's 10 minutes more than nothing. Or if you spend an hour a week at the library reading books, that's an hour more than nothing.

I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), which is basically the type of depression that antidepressant don't cure (but CBT does), so I'm very accustomed to wanting to kill myself. I don't know if you're at that level of depression from your post, but it's a hell of a lot easier to fix it if you aren't. What got me on the road to dealing with it is the concept of "Zero Days." I realised that when I was at my lowest, I would do nothing but wake-up, sit in front of the computer, go to work, and sleep. That's what I mean by "Zero Days" - days where nothing happens. I began to force myself to do something - walk to the shop (or around it, if I didn't need to buy anything) and back, just to get out of the house. Write 1000 words of a short story with a pen and paper in a library or on a park bench. Go to the gym for an hour. Just something that would turn my "Zero Day" into a "Something Day", even if that something only lasted 10 minutes.


Instagram is fake trash. No one (with some exceptions) uploads a picture of themself with makeup streaming down their face crying because they did everything right and still feel like shite, even though we've all done it. It's all doctored vanity that you shouldn't compare yourself to. If you must use it, unfollow all the instagram influencers and everyone else you're comparing yourself to. Follow artists, or poets, or puzzle accounts, or scientific accounts. Your life will be so much more enriched by using instagram to broaden your mind instead of feeling inferior.



You have to seriously change your attitude if you want to study medicine. My flatmates girlfriend is studying it at our university. She is at uni 9-6 everyday for 5 years, and will be doing a few years training in the field afterwards. And that's for her undergraduate degree. Your don't become a doctor without - you guessed it - a doctorate, which comes after a masters.

A lot of office jobs probably are tedious. The one I did (software engineering) certainly was. That's why your definition of "making it" shouldn't be on account of the job you do or the money you make. An office working bringing in £35k a year with a steady shift pattern, time off at the weekends, hobbies that she enjoys, and a family that she loves has "made it" levels beyond someone bringing in £75k a year who goes back to an empty house.



This shouldn't put you off if you're truly invested in medicine, so I'll say it. Think of the money and time you've put into it at the moment that you don't want to waste. Is it 1 year? 2 years? £9250? £18,500?

Compare that to what you still have to commit. 7 years of studying and 3 years of training, for example. And £9250 for each of those seven years. Is it better to have spent £18,500 and have second thoughts, or £64,750 and have second thoughts?

You say you'd feel like an idiot to reject it all. Lets say two people are given £70,000. One person loses £20,000 and another person loses £65,000. Who's the bigger idiot?



If there's even a slight chance you'd do that, you wouldn't pass. Also, there are no 25 year old doctors fresh out of medical school performing life-saving procedures. They're all still studying.



That's not an unrealistic expectation at all. It's very possible.

What's unrealistic is expecting that to be handed to you. If you want the rewards, you need to put in the effort. Coasting through life because you "cba" with it won't make you any more. Grafting for years and settling into a steady, well-paid job will.

It sounds like you have a lot to think about. You really need to consider what it is you want from life, and how you're going to get it. If you want an easy life, stay working at the shop. If you want a reward life, start working for it now.
ok thank you! you're right- i do have a lot to think about. But the person i am in 10 years when i am working as a doctor (?) will probably be so different to the person i am now. It's a tricky one. I definitely won't carry on working at the shop. it is getting me nowhere and i won't know unless i try. I would rather try a degree, whether that's medicine or something else and drop out than carry on working in the shop and always wondering 'what if'. I am in a rut at the moment and I think moving away from home, keeping myself busy etc. could fix me. When i am busy, like at work, and have people to talk to I feel much happier. The times i feel most depressed is on my days off when i have nothing to do but to think about the future.
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