Don't have any urge to masturbate Watch

Anonymous #1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago

I am 15 yo boy and I have never wanted to masturbate. I get erections and have wet dreams, which are annoying I watch porn and have disturbing fetishes, which I hate my self for (no illegal stuff). I'm worried when I lose my virginity, hopefully when I'm like 20-30 idk, that I won't be able to pleasure the girl, let alone, make my self feel good. Would girls find this a turn-off? I don't talk to any and I'm way to young and not even a man, so I don't want to have sex now, just wondering is this abnormal behaviour?

Badges: 11
Report 1 week ago
Sounds pretty normal, especially when going through puberty or at the age of 15.

If you're having erections and wet dreams, everything is functioning fine. Not everyone chooses or feels the need to masturbate. Listen to your body and do what you want to do when you want to do it. Likewise, not everyone gets wet dreams and this too is normal.

Having 'disturbing fetishes' is also totally normal. We don't get to choose what turns us on and when they first emerge they can be quite disturbing. What to remember is that they are just a fantasy and do not define you or ever need to be acted out. In fact you'll find that lots of fetishes and fantasies when acted out are really not sexy or enjoyable.

Try not to worry about them, they're not real and they are not things you have chosen. Don't hate yourself for them or feel guilty if you think about them. Often they tend to be the polar opposite of what you actually like in real life and are our brain's way of overcoming certain fears or emotive or deviant concepts. You'll also find that they will change overtime.

I wouldn't recommend pornography at your age, particularly if you are using it to explore or avoid a fetish you have. It's unlikely to be a healthy option or lower your anxiety levels.

I felt exactly like you at your age. The opposite sex suddenly became a strange and distant thing that I could no longer communicate with. I also assumed I'd always be a virgin and would live a lonely life. This is part of puberty and you'll find with a positive attitude it'll come good when you least expect it.

The media tells us sex is really important (while completely misrepresenting it). While sex can be part of a healthy relationship it is nowhere near as important as good communication skills, trust, caring for one another and love. Further, as you grow older you'll figure out what your body likes or doesn't like, each partner will be different so no one size fits all, your partner and you will explore each other's bodies and figure it out together.

Lots of people with the same fears go on to have families and successful and happy lives. Most of them were not brave critical thinkers at 15. While this skill-set of yours is powerful, make sure you balance it with self-love and the realisation that you will be your own worst critic. Don't overthink or overanalyse things that will make you anxious or harm your confidence.

You can improve your confidence by doing things like joining clubs, volunteering, exercising and actively engaging in activities that reduce your stress levels.

Don't worry about it - it's all just part of the process and isn't your final form.
Last edited by JTfoxlove; 1 week ago
Anonymous #1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
Thanks, this helped a lot and reassured me I am normal

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