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Girlfriend no longer attracted to me

Hey,

I broke up 12 days ago with my girlfriend, and the reality of it is starting to hit me. The reason she gave me is really starting to mess with my head.

We dated for four months and had a great relationship. Great chemistry, same interests and passions, deep chats, laughed together, lots of fun, met each other’s friends and family...only for her to turn round and tell me 12 days ago that she realised she was no longer physically attracted to me and couldn’t build on our relationship because of it.

And I trust her and know that wasn’t something she said to cover other reasons. We had a long chat and she explained that she liked me, didn’t but want to break up, but that’s she needed to feel physically attracted to me. I asked if there was anything I’ve done or haven’t done that’s caused her to lose physical attraction for me, such as something in my personality, and she didn’t no - she said she’s still attracted to my personality and who I am as a person.

And so the reality of this crappy situation is starting to dawn on me. The person I loved decided to throw everything we had away because of that one thing. The person I loved told me she no lingerie finds me attractive.

And that’s so touch to accept. I had been single for a long time prior and previously (but then overcame) been quite subconscious about what I looked like. I’m not remarkable, I know that, but I keep myself fit and in her I thought I found someone who liked me for all that I am - appearance and everything. And it’s brutal to have to accept that my appearance isn’t good enough for her and really messing with my head. I wish she lied and gave me another reason.
Reply 1
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Sorry, dyslexic and rubbish auto correct on phone. This should've read as:

I asked if there was anything I’ve done or haven’t done that’s caused her to lose physical attraction for me, such as something in my personality, and she said no - she said she’s still attracted to my personality and who I am as a person.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,

I broke up 12 days ago with my girlfriend, and the reality of it is starting to hit me. The reason she gave me is really starting to mess with my head.

We dated for four months and had a great relationship. Great chemistry, same interests and passions, deep chats, laughed together, lots of fun, met each other’s friends and family...only for her to turn round and tell me 12 days ago that she realised she was no longer physically attracted to me and couldn’t build on our relationship because of it.

And I trust her and know that wasn’t something she said to cover other reasons. We had a long chat and she explained that she liked me, didn’t but want to break up, but that’s she needed to feel physically attracted to me. I asked if there was anything I’ve done or haven’t done that’s caused her to lose physical attraction for me, such as something in my personality, and she didn’t no - she said she’s still attracted to my personality and who I am as a person.

And so the reality of this crappy situation is starting to dawn on me. The person I loved decided to throw everything we had away because of that one thing. The person I loved told me she no lingerie finds me attractive.

And that’s so touch to accept. I had been single for a long time prior and previously (but then overcame) been quite subconscious about what I looked like. I’m not remarkable, I know that, but I keep myself fit and in her I thought I found someone who liked me for all that I am - appearance and everything. And it’s brutal to have to accept that my appearance isn’t good enough for her and really messing with my head. I wish she lied and gave me another reason.

How old are you both?
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,

I broke up 12 days ago with my girlfriend, and the reality of it is starting to hit me. The reason she gave me is really starting to mess with my head.

We dated for four months and had a great relationship. Great chemistry, same interests and passions, deep chats, laughed together, lots of fun, met each other’s friends and family...only for her to turn round and tell me 12 days ago that she realised she was no longer physically attracted to me and couldn’t build on our relationship because of it.

And I trust her and know that wasn’t something she said to cover other reasons. We had a long chat and she explained that she liked me, didn’t but want to break up, but that’s she needed to feel physically attracted to me. I asked if there was anything I’ve done or haven’t done that’s caused her to lose physical attraction for me, such as something in my personality, and she didn’t no - she said she’s still attracted to my personality and who I am as a person.

And so the reality of this crappy situation is starting to dawn on me. The person I loved decided to throw everything we had away because of that one thing. The person I loved told me she no lingerie finds me attractive.

And that’s so touch to accept. I had been single for a long time prior and previously (but then overcame) been quite subconscious about what I looked like. I’m not remarkable, I know that, but I keep myself fit and in her I thought I found someone who liked me for all that I am - appearance and everything. And it’s brutal to have to accept that my appearance isn’t good enough for her and really messing with my head. I wish she lied and gave me another reason.

It would have helped to have known your rough age.

Relationships can be tough, especially the rejection part, but nearly all relationships are going to end and that is part of the journey. Its quite common for it to run its course and the other person realise they arent that into you for a lifelong period. Dating wouldnt be such a journey if everyone relationship lasted forever.

You did get some good things from it.

Obviously you got some rejection, you are still mourning over the end and its hot your already low self confidence as you have decided to beat yourself up over it.

It has to work for both people , so a bit brutal she just told you it wasnt working for her.

Importantly its not your fault and you havent done anything wrong. It doesnt mean she dislikes you, just it doesnt click on a physical level. If you are honest she would have to pass that criteria for you.

As its all fresh you are overthinking and looking for changes, but you need to accept you cant do anything.

What you need to tell yourself is this is just one girl and there will be others out there who will click on both levels with you. She doesnt speak for all women.

There will also be ones who you like more and find you attractive.

In time it will get better and hurt less. Its all part of dating.

Just keep on making the most of yourself and build your confidence up. Once that happens that can be attractive by itself. There are billions of females out there and you are going to be more attractive if you develop your self confidence rather than be someone who is sad or beats themselves up.

You are spiralling down at the moment, but it will end. Onwards and upwards. Notch it down to experience and look forward to finding and dating the next one. It will get easier.Stop punishing yourself, it will only make you sadder.
Physical is the key word here.

Are you fat?
Reply 5
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
Physical is the key word here.

Are you fat?


Nope, fairly fit and run, play football, etc regularly.

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