Coming out Watch

phyf
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#1
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What's it like to come out to ur family? I'm a lesbian and I've came out to everyone else in my life except them and idk what to do?
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neuronal
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(Original post by phyf)
What's it like to come out to ur family? I'm a lesbian and I've came out to everyone else in my life except them and idk what to do?
Do you have a religious family?

I know one of my friends came out by posting on social media, and let their parents find out that way. If that makes it easier for you, try that
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sinfonietta
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I just told my parents I had a date, they asked what his name was, and I responded with "Kirsty". They took the hint and asked the next question using female pronouns. There was no awkwardness or any real discussion about it.
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phyf
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(Original post by neuronal)
Do you have a religious family?

I know one of my friends came out by posting on social media, and let their parents find out that way. If that makes it easier for you, try that
My family aren't very religious but they still show some anti-lgbt sentiment from time to time
Also, I don't want to come out to them online cause that's basically how I came out to my whole year, and while I don't regret coming out, I regret how I did it
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phyf
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
I just told my parents I had a date, they asked what his name was, and I responded with "Kirsty". They took the hint and asked the next question using female pronouns. There was no awkwardness or any real discussion about it.
That would work if i had a gf but unfortunately I dont
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phyf
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not trying to make a joke out of this or anything but your dad will probably think 'oh she goes both ways' 'ive always wanted my wife to bring an extra into bed but now it's not such a fun thought now my daughter has come out' We men really do have small minds
Don't be such a sick ****ing *******
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Jamesman1
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Yeah tasteless joke. Sorry
(Original post by phyf)
Don't be such a sick ****ing *******
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Glaz
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(Original post by phyf)
My family aren't very religious but they still show some anti-lgbt sentiment from time to time
Also, I don't want to come out to them online cause that's basically how I came out to my whole year, and while I don't regret coming out, I regret how I did it
Then I would leave it. I wouldn't take the risk. Especially if you're still young. If you're like 12 or something, you'll have like 6 years left before you move out and if they don't like it, those 6 years will be hell. If you're like 17 and you're gonna move out in like a few months, then it'll be okay, but honestly this is your life and it's really important to you so you want everyone to be supportive, and if they aren't supportive you won't want them to know.
Know what I'm saying?
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phyf
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(Original post by Glaz)
Then I would leave it. I wouldn't take the risk. Especially if you're still young. If you're like 12 or something, you'll have like 6 years left before you move out and if they don't like it, those 6 years will be hell. If you're like 17 and you're gonna move out in like a few months, then it'll be okay, but honestly this is your life and it's really important to you so you want everyone to be supportive, and if they aren't supportive you won't want them to know.
Know what I'm saying?
Yea, I get u
I'm almost 16 so I still have about 2 more years at home and I just find its getting more and more difficult to switch for being fully out in school to extremely closeted at home y'know?
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Ciel.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not trying to make a joke out of this or anything but your dad will probably think 'oh she goes both ways' 'ive always wanted my wife to bring an extra into bed but now it's not such a fun thought now my daughter has come out' We men really do have small minds
Wtf, what kind of weirdo would think that.

OP, it depends on your parents tbh.
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CarolinaVM
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Yes, it does get more difficult as time goes by (and it will be harder when you have a girlfriend - it's like you're living a double life in a way). However, do consider what the worst case scenario is with your family - Will they kick you out? Do you have your own money? It's something that can't be undone (believe me, I was desperate enough to try - not proud of it 🙄), so you must be sure the timing is right. On the other hand, what do you think are the chances of them finding out by someone in your school? - They may be particularly angry at being the last to know, and in that case you may want to tell them preventively.

There are numerous different ways of coming out to family (and I think people often end up doing it in a different way than they pictured). Does your family ask about boyfriends? If so you can use that to start the conversation.

(Original post by phyf)
Yea, I get u
I'm almost 16 so I still have about 2 more years at home and I just find its getting more and more difficult to switch for being fully out in school to extremely closeted at home y'know?
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phyf
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My worry is that they find out from someone at school or some of my cousins who know. I honestly don't know what would happen, like I could see myself getting kicked out possibly but they also could be really supportive I just don't know.
Also, my parent never ask me about boyfriends. I go to an all girl's school and the only way I could meet boys would be at discos and stuff but I don't go to them cause I really don't like the vibe lol (my sister gets asked abt bfs cause she goes out but i don't). If they were to ask me about having a bf I probs would tell them, but theres been no opportunity recently
(Original post by CarolinaVM)
Yes, it does get more difficult as time goes by (and it will be harder when you have a girlfriend - it's like you're living a double life in a way). However, do consider what the worst case scenario is with your family - Will they kick you out? Do you have your own money? It's something that can't be undone (believe me, I was desperate enough to try - not proud of it 🙄), so you must be sure the timing is right. On the other hand, what do you think are the chances of them finding out by someone in your school? - They may be particularly angry at being the last to know, and in that case you may want to tell them preventively.

There are numerous different ways of coming out to family (and I think people often end up doing it in a different way than they pictured). Does your family ask about boyfriends? If so you can use that to start the conversation.
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phyf
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Problem is, my parents are so hard to judge and I can never tell what they actually think (I'm pretty sure my dad would be ok with it but I honestly don't know about my mum, she may have a full breakdown)
(Original post by Ciel.)
Wtf, what kind of weirdo would think that.

OP, it depends on your parents tbh.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by phyf)
Problem is, my parents are so hard to judge and I can never tell what they actually think (I'm pretty sure my dad would be ok with it but I honestly don't know about my mum, she may have a full breakdown)
Hmm, how do they react when they see gay people on tv etc.? If they seem fine with them, you should be okay. Your mum will get over it, sooner or later.
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phyf
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There's never any like "the gays are terrible, f*ck the f*gs", it's very much a case of don't address it, so I can't really gauge how homophobic they are y'know
(The reason I'm scared is the fact I've been kicked out of the house before for minor things like losing my phone and I really don't want to end up sleeping on the street)
(Original post by Ciel.)
Hmm, how do they react when they see gay people on tv etc.? If they seem fine with them, you should be okay. Your mum will get over it, sooner or later.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by phyf)
There's never any like "the gays are terrible, f*ck the f*gs", it's very much a case of don't address it, so I can't really gauge how homophobic they are y'know
(The reason I'm scared is the fact I've been kicked out of the house before for minor things like losing my phone and I really don't want to end up sleeping on the street)
For losing your phone? Wth. Okay, then it's not worth the risk, imo. Don't tell them now, wait until you are ready to move out etc.
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neuronal
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(Original post by phyf)
My family aren't very religious but they still show some anti-lgbt sentiment from time to time
Also, I don't want to come out to them online cause that's basically how I came out to my whole year, and while I don't regret coming out, I regret how I did it
Why do you specifically regret coming out online? I thought that would be easier than telling people in real life.
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phyf
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#18
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It was definitely easier, no question about it, but I wish I had told more of my close friends in person before coming out online. I think I came out to maybe 3? people irl before i just came out online. It was easier but I feel like it may have been more personal if I had came out in person to all my mates
(Original post by neuronal)
Why do you specifically regret coming out online? I thought that would be easier than telling people in real life.
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