Uni, depression, anxiety, exam and loneliness

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
Hi everyone

You probably read the title and thought ''ugh that describes my life right now'', but...
I'm in my last year of uni, and i just can't seem to handle it all anymore. I have no real close friends anymore, i left two of my close friends nearly 1 year ago, and i haven't forgot about it since. We used to study the same and were together throughout the first 3 years, but things fell apart when they got behind because of exams they didn't pass. That meant i had to continue without them, but shady things started to happened because of the fact we didn't see each other and i was stressed with the new semester. They seemed to exclude me and not inviting me out anymore which i never did to either of them. I never excluded one of them when we were together but i guess that is what they wanted. Later on that year I gave them what they wanted, after a lot of thinking and many disappointments.

Since then I just continued it all and became solo. Now as far as for the studying it is going great, but when i keep everything myself and has no one really to talk to, I start having anxiety. I try to cope with it all alone, but I don't remember the last time I hung out with anyone outside of uni. I feel very lonely. I do have to mention that i made new friends, but they are not that close, and the only thing we talk about is studying. They are nerds which is fine, because i also like studying, but i don't have a close relationship with them. I'm also scared to go out and make new friends because of my previous experience, which is why I feel soooo lonely. I do have some old friends but they are all busy with their own life and some of them even have kids. So it is nearly impossible to get in contact with them and hang out.

Now with exam coming soon, I feel like a mess. I don't know what to do, my mind says ''focus on studying'' but my soul is having a hard time accepting it. I just don't know what to do ... The only thing that is making me alive is knowing the fact that I'm not entirely alone and many others are feeling exactly the same or maybe even worse.

Now thanks for reading and I'm so sorry if i made you feel more lonely or depressed, just know you have me here who is feeling the same.

Hope you all have a lovely day
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Yasmeen_xx
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#2
Report 1 year ago
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Firstly your friends are probably just jealous of you and probably didn’t want to be with you because you reminded them of their own failures (which is completely not your fault btw) .
My advise is to go out and make friends , yes it’s terrifying especially since you’ve been hurt . But those walls are going to have to eventually come down otherwise you’re going to keep building them around you . Also I’m a big believer in if anything happens then it’s meant to be - they didn’t deserve you so they lost YOU, not the other way round . You’re better than this , you can do it .
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by Yasmeen_xx)
Firstly your friends are probably just jealous of you and probably didn’t want to be with you because you reminded them of their own failures (which is completely not your fault btw) .
My advise is to go out and make friends , yes it’s terrifying especially since you’ve been hurt . But those walls are going to have to eventually come down otherwise you’re going to keep building them around you . Also I’m a big believer in if anything happens then it’s meant to be - they didn’t deserve you so they lost YOU, not the other way round . You’re better than this , you can do it .
Omg thank you for your reply I started tearing up! I honestly never thought about it that way but what is broken remains broken i guess. It is just sad that it ended this way, but I can't do much about it. I'm truly trying to me more social but it is so hard especially when uni is over soon. I guess I have to wait till i finish uni and see if I will meet some nice co-workers other than that it is kinda sad right now. I don't even remember the last time I went shopping with a friend, I'm usually all alone. Now it is fine to go out alone shopping and stuff, but what about when i need to eat. It is so awkward to sit alone and eat while everyone is eating with someone, so I skip going out all together.
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Blank13
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#4
Report 1 year ago
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Maybe if your uni has a large international student community go along to the Chinese or Korean societies. From my experience they're fun to interact with, know where all the good Korean and Chinese restaurants are and would love to have more English friends, they just feel too shy and worried about their level of English to approach people and just end up stuck in a bubble of people from their own country. If you show a bit of interest in their country and culture, even if it's just for a few meetings before the semester ends they'll probably want to meet up outside of societies and uni.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone

You probably read the title and thought ''ugh that describes my life right now'', but...
I'm in my last year of uni, and i just can't seem to handle it all anymore. I have no real close friends anymore, i left two of my close friends nearly 1 year ago, and i haven't forgot about it since. We used to study the same and were together throughout the first 3 years, but things fell apart when they got behind because of exams they didn't pass. That meant i had to continue without them, but shady things started to happened because of the fact we didn't see each other and i was stressed with the new semester. They seemed to exclude me and not inviting me out anymore which i never did to either of them. I never excluded one of them when we were together but i guess that is what they wanted. Later on that year I gave them what they wanted, after a lot of thinking and many disappointments.

Since then I just continued it all and became solo. Now as far as for the studying it is going great, but when i keep everything myself and has no one really to talk to, I start having anxiety. I try to cope with it all alone, but I don't remember the last time I hung out with anyone outside of uni. I feel very lonely. I do have to mention that i made new friends, but they are not that close, and the only thing we talk about is studying. They are nerds which is fine, because i also like studying, but i don't have a close relationship with them. I'm also scared to go out and make new friends because of my previous experience, which is why I feel soooo lonely. I do have some old friends but they are all busy with their own life and some of them even have kids. So it is nearly impossible to get in contact with them and hang out.

Now with exam coming soon, I feel like a mess. I don't know what to do, my mind says ''focus on studying'' but my soul is having a hard time accepting it. I just don't know what to do ... The only thing that is making me alive is knowing the fact that I'm not entirely alone and many others are feeling exactly the same or maybe even worse.

Now thanks for reading and I'm so sorry if i made you feel more lonely or depressed, just know you have me here who is feeling the same.

Hope you all have a lovely day
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mgi
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#5
Report 1 year ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone

You probably read the title and thought ''ugh that describes my life right now'', but...
I'm in my last year of uni, and i just can't seem to handle it all anymore. I have no real close friends anymore, i left two of my close friends nearly 1 year ago, and i haven't forgot about it since. We used to study the same and were together throughout the first 3 years, but things fell apart when they got behind because of exams they didn't pass. That meant i had to continue without them, but shady things started to happened because of the fact we didn't see each other and i was stressed with the new semester. They seemed to exclude me and not inviting me out anymore which i never did to either of them. I never excluded one of them when we were together but i guess that is what they wanted. Later on that year I gave them what they wanted, after a lot of thinking and many disappointments.

Since then I just continued it all and became solo. Now as far as for the studying it is going great, but when i keep everything myself and has no one really to talk to, I start having anxiety. I try to cope with it all alone, but I don't remember the last time I hung out with anyone outside of uni. I feel very lonely. I do have to mention that i made new friends, but they are not that close, and the only thing we talk about is studying. They are nerds which is fine, because i also like studying, but i don't have a close relationship with them. I'm also scared to go out and make new friends because of my previous experience, which is why I feel soooo lonely. I do have some old friends but they are all busy with their own life and some of them even have kids. So it is nearly impossible to get in contact with them and hang out.

Now with exam coming soon, I feel like a mess. I don't know what to do, my mind says ''focus on studying'' but my soul is having a hard time accepting it. I just don't know what to do ... The only thing that is making me alive is knowing the fact that I'm not entirely alone and many others are feeling exactly the same or maybe even worse.

Now thanks for reading and I'm so sorry if i made you feel more lonely or depressed, just know you have me here who is feeling the same.

Hope you all have a lovely day
Ok. But dont forget you are nearly dine with uni! I sense your old so called friends are embarrassed and jealous for failing .But they are no longer your friends. You have to move on.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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Hello

Actually I'm very much into the Korean culture I know a lot about it because I have watched Korean dramas and listened to Kpop since highschool. I also used to read manga and watch anime in primary school, so i also know a lot about the Japanesse culture. I don't seem to see that many asians, but i do see Chinese walking in groups together. Unfortunately I don't really know what they study, but i would def love to be friend with some no doubt.
(Original post by Blank13)
Maybe if your uni has a large international student community go along to the Chinese or Korean societies. From my experience they're fun to interact with, know where all the good Korean and Chinese restaurants are and would love to have more English friends, they just feel too shy and worried about their level of English to approach people and just end up stuck in a bubble of people from their own country. If you show a bit of interest in their country and culture, even if it's just for a few meetings before the semester ends they'll probably want to meet up outside of societies and uni.
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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Yeah exactly. I actually walked past one of them the other day and it felt so weird that we could just walk past eachother like that without even saying a hi. Felt weird to me. It didn't really bother me it was just the fact that the feeling of not trusting anyone keeps hunting me. I have already moved on, like they are not my friend anymore and will never be again, but they made me not able to trust anyone anymore.
(Original post by mgi)
Ok. But dont forget you are nearly dine with uni! I sense your old so called friends are embarrassed and jealous for failing .But they are no longer your friends. You have to move on.
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mgi
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah exactly. I actually walked past one of them the other day and it felt so weird that we could just walk past eachother like that without even saying a hi. Felt weird to me. It didn't really bother me it was just the fact that the feeling of not trusting anyone keeps hunting me. I have already moved on, like they are not my friend anymore and will never be again, but they made me not able to trust anyone anymore.
Yes i hear you and i agree with much of what you just said. However, i would like to suggest that you challenge your own belief that"they made me not sble to trust anyone anymore". When people display despicable or disgraceful behaviour you must never own it for yourself and allow it/ them and their thoughts to determine what you will do in your life. Leave the problem with them ; its theirs not yours. Meanwhile, seek self improvement, high self respect and happiness for yourself and throw away negative thinking. If you disrespect yourself you are more likely to attract disrespectful or dysfunctionsl people.
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Anonymous #2
#9
Report 1 year ago
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Hi there I'm currently taking my GCSEs, but I just wanted to let you know u should not let other people control your life x, they are jealous - so what clearly u deserve better. Be grateful of ur studies right now and strive to have the career u want and every thing will fall back into place. Remember storms don't last forever and it's all going to feel better even if it takes time just go with the flow ur doing great xxxxx
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 4 months ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi there I'm currently taking my GCSEs, but I just wanted to let you know u should not let other people control your life x, they are jealous - so what clearly u deserve better. Be grateful of ur studies right now and strive to have the career u want and every thing will fall back into place. Remember storms don't last forever and it's all going to feel better even if it takes time just go with the flow ur doing great xxxxx
Thank you so so so much !
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Pathway
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Report 4 months ago
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I'd encourage you to ask your friends (the ones you study with) if they wanna hang out after studying. Ask them what they're into, what hobbies they have, music they like, etc.
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