Is it worth it to move out in second year? Watch

trundlebug
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#1
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I am currently a first year finishing up in July. For this year I have been living at home and commuting to uni using the family car, it's about 20 minutes away. My parents are quite good about money allowing me to stay with them rent free, theres always food and washing is done. I help to shop, cook, clean and do laundry. There is a pretty good dynamic normal family ups and downs.
I feel like I missed something socially this year by not being able to be on campus all the time. Public transport doesn't get as far as where I live and a cab takes 30 quid. The idea of passing out on someones floor didn't much appeal either.
However being 20 and turning 21 in second year (next year) I was considering moving out to be about a ten minute walk from campus. It would be a studio apartment, it would also take a majority of my maintenance loan but leave me with enough of my wage to be comfortable on a month to month basis.
I am very close to my mother, we always chat when we come home and hang out of an evening watching some program or other. We go to gigs frequently and general adventures. I asked her for advice and she suggested staying home and saving what I earn and what I can from the maintenance loan to take a year out after graduation or to use it to move out then. I had considered the idea but am wondering if it's because it's the motherly thing to do to try keep her child at home. She is very protective and until the last 5 or so years I was somewhat sheltered and timid. College, uni and work really gave me a confidence boost to go out and do/experience things and people and I don't want her to think I've outgrown her. At the same time I feel as though it would be nice to have a space to call my own for awhile, being at home there is definitely a familial safety net. If I don't wake with my alarm someone will wake me, if I run behind on money someone will prop me up for a while, if I can' afford food someone will help. It's nice to have but I feel somewhat trapped and I can't explain properly why, I feel restricted to the family dynamic where I still answer to them and feel obligated to them as it's them providing the necessities. It's not that I'm ungrateful but coming into a mature mindset means you see it less as a caring thing but something I'm taking for granted and a resource I haven't earned. Similarly I don't want to pay them rent as it would leave me in the same environment, I also don't want to ask them to treat our relationship as a trading one as that could lead to problems down the line.
Is the solution to have my own space?
Or will I regret spending that money instead of staying with my family who are happy to help?
Or should I save my money for after graduation for traveling or finding a space then?
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PhoenixFortune
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(Original post by trundlebug)
I am currently a first year finishing up in July. For this year I have been living at home and commuting to uni using the family car, it's about 20 minutes away. My parents are quite good about money allowing me to stay with them rent free, theres always food and washing is done. I help to shop, cook, clean and do laundry. There is a pretty good dynamic normal family ups and downs.
I feel like I missed something socially this year by not being able to be on campus all the time. Public transport doesn't get as far as where I live and a cab takes 30 quid. The idea of passing out on someones floor didn't much appeal either.
However being 20 and turning 21 in second year (next year) I was considering moving out to be about a ten minute walk from campus. It would be a studio apartment, it would also take a majority of my maintenance loan but leave me with enough of my wage to be comfortable on a month to month basis.
I am very close to my mother, we always chat when we come home and hang out of an evening watching some program or other. We go to gigs frequently and general adventures. I asked her for advice and she suggested staying home and saving what I earn and what I can from the maintenance loan to take a year out after graduation or to use it to move out then. I had considered the idea but am wondering if it's because it's the motherly thing to do to try keep her child at home. She is very protective and until the last 5 or so years I was somewhat sheltered and timid. College, uni and work really gave me a confidence boost to go out and do/experience things and people and I don't want her to think I've outgrown her. At the same time I feel as though it would be nice to have a space to call my own for awhile, being at home there is definitely a familial safety net. If I don't wake with my alarm someone will wake me, if I run behind on money someone will prop me up for a while, if I can' afford food someone will help. It's nice to have but I feel somewhat trapped and I can't explain properly why, I feel restricted to the family dynamic where I still answer to them and feel obligated to them as it's them providing the necessities. It's not that I'm ungrateful but coming into a mature mindset means you see it less as a caring thing but something I'm taking for granted and a resource I haven't earned. Similarly I don't want to pay them rent as it would leave me in the same environment, I also don't want to ask them to treat our relationship as a trading one as that could lead to problems down the line.
Is the solution to have my own space?
Or will I regret spending that money instead of staying with my family who are happy to help?
Or should I save my money for after graduation for traveling or finding a space then?
You could always live out just for your second year to see if you like it, then return to living at home for third year if you don't like it. That way you would save a bit of money and get the best of both worlds. You've already saved money by living at home for a year anyway.

Only you can decide what to do with your money. Maybe ask yourself which you'll regret more: not living in hall,s or spending your money on rent for halls?
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harrysbar
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(Original post by trundlebug)
I am currently a first year finishing up in July. For this year I have been living at home and commuting to uni using the family car, it's about 20 minutes away. My parents are quite good about money allowing me to stay with them rent free, theres always food and washing is done. I help to shop, cook, clean and do laundry. There is a pretty good dynamic normal family ups and downs.
I feel like I missed something socially this year by not being able to be on campus all the time. Public transport doesn't get as far as where I live and a cab takes 30 quid. The idea of passing out on someones floor didn't much appeal either.
However being 20 and turning 21 in second year (next year) I was considering moving out to be about a ten minute walk from campus. It would be a studio apartment, it would also take a majority of my maintenance loan but leave me with enough of my wage to be comfortable on a month to month basis.
I am very close to my mother, we always chat when we come home and hang out of an evening watching some program or other. We go to gigs frequently and general adventures. I asked her for advice and she suggested staying home and saving what I earn and what I can from the maintenance loan to take a year out after graduation or to use it to move out then. I had considered the idea but am wondering if it's because it's the motherly thing to do to try keep her child at home. She is very protective and until the last 5 or so years I was somewhat sheltered and timid. College, uni and work really gave me a confidence boost to go out and do/experience things and people and I don't want her to think I've outgrown her. At the same time I feel as though it would be nice to have a space to call my own for awhile, being at home there is definitely a familial safety net. If I don't wake with my alarm someone will wake me, if I run behind on money someone will prop me up for a while, if I can' afford food someone will help. It's nice to have but I feel somewhat trapped and I can't explain properly why, I feel restricted to the family dynamic where I still answer to them and feel obligated to them as it's them providing the necessities. It's not that I'm ungrateful but coming into a mature mindset means you see it less as a caring thing but something I'm taking for granted and a resource I haven't earned. Similarly I don't want to pay them rent as it would leave me in the same environment, I also don't want to ask them to treat our relationship as a trading one as that could lead to problems down the line.
Is the solution to have my own space?
Or will I regret spending that money instead of staying with my family who are happy to help?
Or should I save my money for after graduation for traveling or finding a space then?
You could move out if you feel that you would enjoy it more than living at home, but to be honest, the best time to have moved out would have been in first year when it might have helped you to socialise and get to know more people. I feel that moving to a studio apartment might be a bit lonelier than living in Halls, which is normally only an option for First years.

You could try it for a year as suggested above, or save your money for after you graduate - it's really up to you. If you think moving out would help you to socialise and to feel more independent then there is nothing wrong with doing that but equally there is nothing wrong with a 20 minute commute either
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