My boyfriend wants to have a sleepover with two other girls Watch

Anonymous #2
#21
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#21
I would be absolutely furious and dump his sorry a**.You are his girlfriend and to do what he did is unforgivable.Tell him it is me or them.This isn't an open relationship and if you aren't happy being with me it is best to end things.
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eilish1903
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#22
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#22
sounds like a bit of a bell end to me. My boyfriend doesnt even have "sleep overs" with me so if he was to cancel plans he made with me to "sleep over" with two other girls, one of which he has a clear interest in, 1. he wouldn't be my man anymore and 2. she wouldn't he my mate anymore.

there is no respect for you from either of them in this situation. Especially the girl, how's she having her "very good friends" boyfriend sleep over at her house and not even asking if you wanna come too? How is he thinking its ok to treat you like that?

if it was me, I'd cut ties with both of them, let them get on with it coz he'll end up treating her the same, spend time on me and realising my self worth and find a man who actually respects and adores me

you can do better hun
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saigemercer
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#23
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#23
She doesn't know that he says all of that stuff about him, so it's not her fault, but you're right.
(Original post by eilish1903)
sounds like a bit of a bell end to me. My boyfriend doesnt even have "sleep overs" with me so if he was to cancel plans he made with me to "sleep over" with two other girls, one of which he has a clear interest in, 1. he wouldn't be my man anymore and 2. she wouldn't he my mate anymore.

there is no respect for you from either of them in this situation. Especially the girl, how's she having her "very good friends" boyfriend sleep over at her house and not even asking if you wanna come too? How is he thinking its ok to treat you like that?

if it was me, I'd cut ties with both of them, let them get on with it coz he'll end up treating her the same, spend time on me and realising my self worth and find a man who actually respects and adores me

you can do better hun
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saigemercer
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#24
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#24
Thank you, this really helped.
(Original post by emwin)
I don't think you should have reacted in any other way. He might think that you're overreacting, but there are some signs that you can pick up on. If he's going to spend time with another girl and he also constantly talks about her, if he postpones your plans just to have a sleepover with her, that's not a good sign. He sounds like he doesn't respect your feelings that much even though you're his girlfriend. Tell him why you feel uncomfortable about the situation and let him know sincerely and respectably. Don't fight with him about it but ask him to listen to why you feel that way. If he refuses to see your side and he says you're overreacting, tell him "I'm seeing the bigger picture, and that's what anyone else on the outside would think", so why don't you have a valid reason to feel that way? I say be honest and open, but also patient and understanding.
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eilish1903
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#25
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(Original post by saigemercer)
She doesn't know that he says all of that stuff about him, so it's not her fault, but you're right.
she might not know he says those things about her, but she must know he's in a relationship with you and to have him sleep over with her without you there, hun thats disrespectful to you and your friendship.

him cancelling plans on you to go spend the night with other girls is just wrong and what's even worse is that he is clearly gas lighting you by manipulating the situation to make it seem like it's your fault he didnt tell you. He is making you feel like your perception of right and wrong in this situation is what he thinks it should be and if you don't feel that way, you are overreacting.

Have a look into gas lighting
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saigemercer
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#26
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#26
Thank you, you've really helped me out
(Original post by eilish1903)
she might not know he says those things about her, but she must know he's in a relationship with you and to have him sleep over with her without you there, hun thats disrespectful to you and your friendship.

him cancelling plans on you to go spend the night with other girls is just wrong and what's even worse is that he is clearly gas lighting you by manipulating the situation to make it seem like it's your fault he didnt tell you. He is making you feel like your perception of right and wrong in this situation is what he thinks it should be and if you don't feel that way, you are overreacting.

Have a look into gas lighting
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_debt
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#27
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(Original post by R1chardZhu)
I don't see the point of this relationship tho
Exactly.
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bones-mccoy
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#28
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#28
He's practically told you there's no future in your relationship and would move onto your friend if you two did ever break up. Finding another girl attractive whilst in a relationship is one thing, and totally natural, but constantly talking about her and saying there's "potential" there is so degrading to you.

If it's your friend he's having the sleepover with (honestly who calls them sleepovers past the age of 15) then why can't you attend too? They're your friends so it shouldn't be awkward. If you mention it and he gets funny, then you know something is up for sure. I would talk to him about it again, I doubt he's going to take your feelings into consideration cause it doesn't sound like he ever has before, but he needs to know he's crossed a line. I can't see him changing, he obviously thinks it's okay to treat girls like this, so you may as well cut your losses and move on. He's only going to do the same thing to the next girl he snares.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 1 week ago
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saigemercer
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#29
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#29
Thank you for your replay, you've really helped me!

PS. I don't know, I'm not a native speaker so I didn't know another word for sleepover : )
(Original post by bones-mccoy)
He's practically told you there's no future in your relationship and would move onto your friend if you two did ever break up. Finding another girl attractive whilst in a relationship is one thing, and totally natural, but constantly talking about her and saying there's "potential" there is so degrading to you.

If it's your friend he's having the sleepover with (honestly who calls them sleepovers past the age of 15) then why can't you attend too? They're your friends so it shouldn't be awkward. If you mention it and he gets funny, then you know something is up for sure. I would talk to him about it again, I doubt he's going to take your feelings into consideration cause it doesn't sound like he ever has before, but he needs to know he's crossed a line. I can't see him changing, he obviously thinks it's okay to treat girls like this, so you may as well cut your losses and move on. He's only going to do the same thing to the next girl he snares.
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Spanx
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#30
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#30
I wanna have a sleepover with 2 girls!!!
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even 2 other girls if there was another girl but that would make it 3 girls! :confused:
Last edited by Spanx; 1 week ago
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ChickenMadness
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#31
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#31
He's hoping to have a threesome lol.
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Johndoeskitty
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#32
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#32
What kind of guy says to his girlfriend that he would have sex/date with someone else and is having that person for a sleep over? Are you kidding me? Break up with him!
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Tawny007
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#33
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#33
how would he feel if you were going to stay around another guys house with 2 blokes...
I would 💯 not be okay with my OH doing it or trying to hide it from me. With everything you've said I'd say leave him, his priorities are in the wrong place and as someone else mentioned if he's talking about a future with him and this other girl then you 2 aren't going to last
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elchucadabra
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#34
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#34
There's probably nothing to worry about.
They're probably just having a tea party
think positive
don't overthink
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Amyth
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#35
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#35
move on, find another guy... besides I'm also looking for a nice girl :-)
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